This is hard to put into words, but I need some opinions here.

Well, it's almost like they expect my boys to be happy about the new siblings. My oldest is particularly irritated, since he is old enough to have kids of his own. Thanks for the input!!!

My husband is old enough to be the grandfather to his newest sister! He is older than his stepmother. Sometimes people do things that just don't make sense to anyone but themselves.

I've said the same thing to my kids, or I will when that day comes. Mine are 16, 15, 10 and 2. I swear I really hope they listen. It sounds like your kids are going to get front row seats on what happens if they don't.

Well, the oldest son can just tell them he does not have gas money. The youngest is too busy. I have nephews in a similar situation. They are fond enough of the baby step brother, but he is not the product of old sperm and a menopausal woman. If there is a daughter older than your oldest, it sounds as if dad should know better by now.

Side note, you will not regret the hysterectomy, that is what friends told me and I found it to be true. I felt great afterwards. You can pm me if you like. Do take a big pillow to hug after the surgery when you cough or laugh, cause that hurts, at first, but it is important for your healing.

You'd think so wouldn't you!!! Yes,,, the ex actually has 4 children already. The first born, is 25, then my oldest is 19, then the daughter from the affair is 18, then my youngest is 16...... When I said I didn't want anymore children, he refused to get himself a vasectomy so I got my tubes tied. What's particularly irritating is that I know the ex is expecting the boys to go to his house and help out with stuff and I am scheduled for surgery on the 30th. I will be out of action for at least a month, as I am having a hysterectomy due to female montly problems. I can't postpone this surgery any longer. It is making me sicker and sicker and I have to get it done. But I need the boys here to help out, as my husband works out of town during the week and is only home on the weekends.

Wow!!! I think I will do just that with the boys today. AT least give them some viable "outs" for this situation. It's funny but their older half sister just thinks this is wonderfull aparently. She called the youngest yesterday and said, "You are a big brother now". He is the one that is actually more adamant about not wanting anything to do with these children or their mother. It's like nobody else gets it. But then, the half sister is in her 20's and hasn't ever had to spend entire weeks or weekends with the woman either. She was an adult when her dad met this woman, so she's oblivious to how she really acts.

Well, that's just it, for some reason, the ex's family and friends seem to think the boys should be just thrilled about their dad making babies at 48 years old with a 44 year old woman who her other children can't even stand to live with. (Her youngest chose to go live with his recently paroled father as soon as he got out of jail rather than live with her.) the boys cannot stand to be around the woman, as she is unstable. Happy one minute, going off the deep end the next. I'm talking she needs serious medication. And she was TRYING to get pregnant at 43 years of age, having had two misscarriages the previous two years. Now, as I write this, two fetuses lay in an NICU one weighing 1 pound, the other weighing 1 pound 8 ounces. The oldest was told that they would be staying in the hospital until their due date of October 1st. What I find is the most outrageous of it all is how my children's father is constantly complaining about how broke he is. Even if they have some form of insurance that would pay 80% of the costs for these two fetuses they are looking at close to 50,000$ for each fetus of out of pocket costs to get these kids through to their due date. He only thinks he's broke. Meanwhile, I can't get him to pay his 50% of my youngest son's eye glass presecription, dental bills or medical bills that he is court ordered to pay. And yet my kids are supposed to be happy about these two new ones??????

In a way it's understandable that a 25 year old young woman would be enthralled with new born babies. But from my observations of my various nephews when they were in their mid teens, 16 year old boys have zero interest in babies, especially new borns. And these babies seem to be coming with a wagon load of attachments (i.e expectations of how others should be feeling about them, health issues, etc.)

I have done my best to just not even discuss her with the boys. It's been tough. Funny part is, I'm beginning to wonder about the moral fiber of other women out there. I have been a step-mom myself. First with my first husband's daughter who is now 25, and I was her step mom til she was in college. Her mother and I sat down together and had a serious conversation. We agreed that we would do a better service to the daughter if we were to act like adults and work together for her benefit and keep the name calling and such out of our vocabularies, and only put the daughter's needs first and foremost. Funny, but apparently that is not the norm, because when the daughter won a contest and qualified to go to the national level, I worked closely with the mom to put together fund raisers for the trip to the national competiton. We (together in the same vehicle for hours on end) hauled the daughter to television interviews, public appearances, photo shoots and such. The mom would introduce me as who I was, her step mom, and people kind of looked at us funny, as if it was so highly unusual that we would get along. I have tried to be that way with my current husband's ex because it's not the kid's fault the parents got divorced, and it was well before my time, I had nothing to do with the divorce, I met her dad 3 years after their divorce. Unfortunately, during a court hearing regarding child support this woman chased us out of the court house screaming how she was going to get my farm if he didn't pay his support. (Long story, but to make it short, she took him to court to get support raised, and her attorney got the wrong person's pay information because there were two other people with the same name working there (very common first and last name). Anyway, she was trying to say that he was making 24$ an hour and he was only making 10$.... so she was upset that she wasn't going to get child support based on him making 24$ an hour). Anyway, I don't put their dad down. I never have. Even though I am fully aware of the lies he has spread to all of the people we know on how I screwed him over because he didn't get half of this farm. (Which was bought with money from the VA that I got in lump sum after having fought for 12 years to get) (I was in the service and out before I ever met him) I recently had someone ask me my side of the story as to why we got divorced and I told her that due to his drinking he was becomming more and more violent and I was concerned that eventually instead of punching the windshild of the truck or throwing his tools on the ground that he would strike out at us (me and the kids), so I got out before it got to that point. Funny.... but she said to me... "I can see that happening.. I've known him and his folks since we were toddlers and I have seen his parents get into knock down drag outs and beat the tar out of each other. I knew there was more to it than what I was told."

I honnestly think she should not be allowed to have children. I do think it's funny that everyone else seems to think the boys should want to go running down to the hospital to see two babies that they think their dad was an idiot for letting happen in the first place, let alone if they will even survive.

Because unfortunately for me, he doesn't understand 100% split, nor do his friends and family. THE ISSUE AT HAND IS IF I SHOULD FORCE MY CHILDREN TO GO SEE THESE TWO FETUSES THAT THEY WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH. The other issue is that his friends and family are calling me telling me I should make them go see these two fetuses that should have never been created because the mother was intent on getting pregnant even while she was divorcing him every other month. The boys hate her and want nothing to do with her or her offspring. Also, in case you don't understand, when you have children with someone, there is never a 100% split. You have a tie to that person and will have to deal with that person in all major events in your children's lives. What this woman has done has impacted MY CHILDREN. I PROTECT MY CHILDREN AT ALL COSTS. I ALSO WILL NOT FORCE THEM TO ACT LIKE THEY CARE ABOUT SOME CHILDREN THAT WILL MOST LIKELY DIE OR BE SEVERELY DISABLED WHEN CHANCES ARE THIS WOMAN HAS INTENTIONALLY GOTTEN PREGNANT TO GET CHILD SUPPORT. AND BY THE WAY.... THEIR FATHER AND HIS FAMILY SEEM TO THINK I SHOULD FORK OUT GAS MONEY FOR THEM TO DRIVE 3 HOURS TO SEE THESE FETUSES. AIN'T HAPPENIN... HE CAN'T PAY FOR HIS SHARE OF EXPENSES, I'LL BE DAMNED IF I'LL PAY SO MY KIDS HAVE TO GO LOOK AT TWO UNDERDEVELOPED FETUSES WITH WIRES AND TUBES STUCK IN THEM

And as for your comment: "I can see that this interference that you are conducting is compounding your life in a negative manner. " I am not conducting any interference. I am merely supporting the wishes of my children. The ex has resorted to having his family and friends trying to lay guilt trips on my children because they made the choice not to have anything to do with these products of greed from their step mother. My children are 19 and 17, and old enough to decide for themselves. I refuse to tell them to "Do what their father says" when it comes to this. He has no right to force them or make them feel guilty for not wanting to rush down to see these underdeveloped fetuses and call them babies when they probably won't live anyway. If they do live, these two fetuses will have tons of medical and mental problems. My kids don't have to deal with that if they don't want to. They're dealing with a mother lion here and nobody messes with my children.