Lazy Baby Daddys

Well it depends are you stay at home mom? And does he work hard to provide for yall? If so then to me this is your job.

this is a tough question. I to am running into the same problem. I don't expect him to have to do the house chores, but it is nice for him to do the outside work, or spend time with the kids. I use to work and come home and work and try to raise the kids. its not easy. I don't work now and I do just about everything around here. but when I was younger I remember my dad working two jobs and coming home to cut the grass or work on the car, or in the garden. I always wondered why, now I know it was because he did it for us kids. he worked for the money to provide for us and kept the outside looking good to not embarrass us. Our husbands should feel the same way. Good luck to you.

I would say it depends. If the daddy works hard all day as well, you can't expect him to work all day and then take care of the kids at night by himself. I think you both need to work out some sort of schedule. Don't call him lazy if he too works all day.

Hi Amanda, If he has a work, maybe he is tired and also stress...But, I guess the best thing here is to ask him after he can relax, ask him to do certain things for you since you are still attending to another work..If you don't say anything, maybe he is assuming that everything is fine... I know how hard it is in your role..But, as they have said, no one can read people's mind, you need to say something and when he refuse, that's the problem there,,,You need to talk heart to heart!

I've been down this road with my husband a hundred times. On one hand I do feel guilty asking for his help when it comes to chores and such. He works 60 hours a week, and we raise 5 kids. In a way, his job is outside the house, bringing us money, and my job is everything in the house, which includes the cooking and cleaning etc. Problem is, as some other people have stated, mom needs a break now and then too. Hubby and I used to fight about this like crazy. He gets 2 days off work, but I get no time off. In the end, we made a deal. Sundays are my days off. He cooks dinner that day, and does some cleaning, sometimes (sometimes he'll leave it for Monday, but if I go to do it, he'll stop me and do it instead). He lets me sleep in, and he takes care of the kids all day. I only have to do what I want to do that day. If I want to help him with dinner, I will. But you have to remember that if he's working outside the home, he's under stress as well. You really need to take the time to appreciate what he does at work, and understand how he may feel. Realize he needs his time too... so create a good balance. Give him time to do his thing once in awhile. I make sure to let my hubby sleep in on his other day off. After that he will usually help me out, but I don't expect as much from him as I do on Sundays. I will also find things to occupy myself so that he has time to do what he wants, such as watch TV or play computer games.

well i have to work all day ant after i am off work i have to take care kid and parents,tired..........

it is something taht is annoying. i guess most mothers face this. the fathers only come homw and relax, they sghould also take the responsibility the same way as the mother.but there are exceptions too.

I think you'd better think long and hard about leaving him. At least he does work. Some men don't do anything. If you don't have him then you not only end up taking care of the kids by yourself but now you've got to work also. Ask yourself if you would truly be better off without him.

you need to sit down and talk to him. I understand he worked all day but so did you and that is probably what he is NOT realizing. Unless someone has done it, they tend not to realize how very much work it is to take care of kids and home all day long. You deserve a break and your kids deserve some daddy time.

amanda hi What do i do, rather what did I do when I w as married and my kids were \babies, I commandeered my lazy husband to feed th babies and bathe them while I finished other chores. he loved it and so did the babies, so I got some real help from him there. why dont you try that to,hand daddy his little darlings and have him take care of the babies,then you can concentrate on your school work.he might surprise you as babies have a w ay of getting to daddies. try it.

I dont know whether you are married and have kids. If you are, the I must say ur hubby is using you. Just because he work outside, doesn't mean when he get home, he need to relax and let u do more work. He should understand u r bringing up a kid, taking care of him which is much harder than just go to work and come home. I am not married, but, never even let my g/f put the garbage at the curb. When I come home, I always help her in house wok, on weekends, we both clean the house.

As the father of the house it is commonly known that they are the ones who provide food on the table and women do the household activities this is generally the practice of our society. Both jobs are cruel and needs a lot of patience, but I dont believe in going home watching tv and do nothing after a hard days work. I am married with two kids but I and my wife work at the same time we always make it a point that we slice the responsibilities, therefore the jobs get lighter. I suggest you talk to your husband in a soft friendly and gentle manner work the schedule and bargain the responsibilities. No problem cant be solve by a friendly discussion.... :D

you sound like your hubby is a lazy man, why are you married to him? as a good hubby, he should do some house chores. I'm a man and i often cook and clean the floor, you may have a serious conversation with him, and tell him how you feel about him, or maybe he thinks that it's woman's responsibilty to do the housework and caring about kids...

It is irritating. I don't mind if they politely say they are tired and would like to rest or take a nap. But if it is just his habit, it is too much. The problem with our Asian society, parents give too much face to their son. They are given the choice not to do housework. So it is their upbringing to be blamed. The boys are allowed to go out and play with their friends, while their daughters are required to help with the house chores. It is not fair, isn't it.

Personally, I don't know why women put up with this behavior. My mother never did and trained me not to. If a man helps create the kid (and even if he didn't as in my stepfather's case) he was always expected to act respectfully towards our house and contribute. Mostly in this case that meant cooking as my mother's not a good cook. I can't imagine it would have gone over well if he would have just expected my mother to do everything. I think that women who's men are lazy need to grow a backbone and stand up for themselves. Just my opinion.

if you are feeling this way then you need to talk to him. not yell and point fingers. not making a list of what you do and what he doesn't. but talk to him and let him know that at the end of day, you need some help. what you can do is give him things to do. say like taking out the trash, or putting the dishes away. maybe be the one who get's the kids ready for bed. but don't have this talk out of anger. just let him know how you are feeling and would love his help. and see what happens

I think papa can help a bit even if he does some small cleaning jobs or plays with the kids so you can get it done. I would just ask him to! He is probably tired from working so hard to provide for you. So men think it is enough they go to work!

Sounds like a couple of things are going on here. First he like some men give no value to what you do as a mother. He doesn't validate clean, cooking and tending to the kids as being a job and hard work. Until he see's it as being work, he probally wont see fit to lend a hand. Next he see's himself as the bread winner or the money maker of the family and feels that he has done his part by the time that he gets home. He feels that by the time he gets home he has made his contribution to the family. He probally came from the same type family setting where the father goes to work and the mother does everything else, so he is just doing what he knows how to do. Next you allow him to give the minimal participation when it comes to family participation. You are probally not asking for help as you assume that he should see your needs and try to accomadate them. You can forget that happening it seems. So you are going to communicate with him about what you and your family needs from him outside of financial support. He doesn't realize that raising kids is hard work but it's also very rewarding to watch them grow into little people with character and substance based on what you have put in. As well its quality time that he needs to be interacting with the kids to build strong healty relationships rather than them just see him as the money making machine.

I think it depends on both of you, if you have agree with him that he go to work and you stay home doing what you have say, and there are something of love in this if he care about you and you care about what he and your kids need, you both should encourage each other to do your duties.

The children belong to both of you and Daddy should be spending time with them--and you--when he comes home from work. Try to get things you want done finished before he comes home so you can focus on suppertime and spending time together as a family. I do feel that if you are a stay-at-home mom, the things needing done about the house are your job--however, things do not have to perfect by any means, no stress. Maybe you could ask him to play with the kids(after he has had a bit of time to unwind, get a drink, etc) whilst you get supper on the table. After supper, make it a family affair to clear the table and tidy the kitchen then everyone crash in the living room to relax and play with the kids for awhile. After a bit of time, maybe he would do bath time or story time with the kids so you can start on your school work then pause to tuck in wee ones? Although that's taking alot of time from little ones and from him--you and he need time as well! Ideally, leave the school related things you need to do for after the children are in bed or get up early in the mornings before them for some quiet study time...it's a big challenge to go to school and raise little ones. I feel it is not possible to truly balance family life and school while children are small; something has to give somewhere. Therefore, things remain chaotic for moms trying to do so. Not that I'm not supportive of that, I just believe it's impossible to truly enjoy life with little ones if you're trying to get away and get other things done. ~~