What do you tell a friend when her husband thinks he might be a woman?

Four years ago, this could have been a very sensitive issue for me, but now, I can talk about it (even joke about it with my friends). When my ex-husband and I lived together 5 years ago, I was devastated with his dual personality, one time he can be as brutal and as brusque as a madman, hitting me and throwing me on the door, the next time he'll act as feminine as a cute and gentle cat. Yup, he was gay. The feminine acts told me so. Then I heard gossips that he's doing it with another man. I had to let go of him fast. I was a battered, insulted and cheated wife but I took it all. It was a consolation though that I didn't really love the guy/gal. It was easy for me to let him go and crash him out of my life. Now, every time I think about him, I don't get angry, I feel pity for him, because he was so confuse and he doesn't know himself. Maybe your friend loves her husband so much, and that's really sad. You know what they say about accepting someone if you really love him. Either she go live with it and accept the man she loves is gay or she can take a stand and let him go for him to find himself. Shucks! Life's never easy...

Only a real good talk between the two of them will even begin to settle this one. Either she accepts his behavior or she doesn't. What he is going through is not all that unusual. Is his behavior causing him not to fulfill his husbandly duties? Is he going outside dressed as a woman? Do they have kids and does he do this around them, or does he wish to? These are things to look at for starters. If she accepts it, or at least pretends for the time being that it doesn't bother her that much, he may get over it, like a fad Otherwise, there will have to be a decision made, stay or go...

Oh my! I'm stunned. First thing I did when I read this question was to think how I would react if it happened to me. Speechless. How come he noticed it just now? How long have they been together? Do they have kids? How does your friend really feel? I guess the best way is for them to sit down and talk things over. I mean if your friend is really bothered by it to the point that she feels she cannot live with him, then they should talk. If they have kids, that is a bigger concern. However, the guy might be telling the truth also that he wants to remain a man. Let them talk things over. Hopefully they come to a good decision without asking help from a third party like a counselor or something. I wish them good luck. I hope they settle things between them.

I think a good talk should be made between the two. This may be a phase but it might be something serious. Maybe he's under stress and this is his way of dealing with it, maybe he wishes he were a woman because he thinks women have it easier. What I would do is tell her to sit down and make a list of things to ask him and to really evaluate what she should expect his answers to be before she actually talks to him. I would definitely take a real big breather and expect anything! I hope that she gets this settled, and that her husband gets things settled himself! I hope you have a wonderful day!

It doesn't make her a lesbian, lol. She fell in love with a man, who is a fully functional man and probably a good husband otherwise. He is however what is called a crossdresser. He loves to wear women's clothing. Not knowing how long he has been doing this, it's hard telling whether more is to come. Although if he truely stated he feels like a woman on the inside, this is most likely only the beginning. It's something they have to explore, maybe even through counseling. Your friend will have to make a decision on whether she can live with his behavior. Crossdressing is one thing, especially, if it only takes place in the privacy of their home, but turning into a female is something he may eventually consider. Can she live with it? Does she love him enough? As a friend, just be there for her and support her no matter how she decides to proceed. She will need you for moral support. It's a tough spot to be in.

This is a very sad problem for your friend. It doesn't make her a lesbian, though. It seems her husband has a very strong feminine side and maybe wants to be a crossdresser. It sounds as if he is happy to be a man and a husband, so if this couple can come to terms with this and feel comfortable with it, hopefully they will be able to make their relationship work. The main thing is that they love eachother.