What must I do?
By Kevin
@excellence7 (3655)
Mauritius
July 17, 2008 8:40am CST
I love my girlfriend extremely and she loves me too. But I deceived my girlfriend behind her back by making other girls fall in love with me. Then recently I realized that I did very wrong and I have changed myself.
Do you think this realization is enough or shall I admit the truth to her? I fear if this breaks our relationship.
1 person likes this
10 responses
@snowbitz (487)
• Philippines
17 Jul 08
Honestly speaking i don't know what to say to you my brother (i call you brother because we are mylot family) My mind tells me that if you don't want to hurt your girlfriend and if you want to keep your relationship you should not tell her.But my heart say since i am also a woman you should tell her because sooner or later she will know about it.And you must take the risk since you done something that might jeopardize your relationship.And it is better that she will hear it from you not from other people.If you ask me if it will happen to me i will be angry since i know the profession of my husband i am willing to listen and see what comes next.
2 people like this
@excellence7 (3655)
• Mauritius
17 Jul 08
Thanks for calling me brother dear. You are right we are like a family here- the MyLot family. I am so assured now that we will all support each other in our bad times and good times. I am a bit worried if she got to know this truth through someone else, But I don't know how to face her when telling this truth. I have really realized from the bottom of my heart that I should not have done this. And this realization has even increased my love for her. I know her since childhood and now we are tertiary students- she will join University soon where I am. And if ever she come to know that I flirt with some girls- it's a pure betrayal. I don't know how she will react :( I am confused about how to tell her the truth....
2 people like this
@excellence7 (3655)
• Mauritius
17 Jul 08
Thanks for being by my side sister. I am so lucky that I found a sister like you here. We are really a big MyLot family. I will tell her the truth soonest possible.
1 person likes this
@lalaine829 (113)
• Philippines
17 Jul 08
Don't be afraid to face the consequence of your past actions. The important thing is you realized what you did was wrong and you're willing to change for the better because you love her. Being a truthful person is a thing we girls value in a relationship. I personally would want to have a relationship with someone who tells me anything even if it hurts me. In this way, I will feel that my boyfriend values the relationship and that he cares about me and at the same time I would appreciate and respect him more for being honest. I know it would really take a lot of courage to start telling her your story. First step is always the hardest as they say but I tell you be man enough to stand for your love, so tell her as soon as possible. Here's a tip: Confess to her when she's in a good mood. :-) The truth would not make you less of person rather to make you a more better person. c",)
2 people like this
@excellence7 (3655)
• Mauritius
17 Jul 08
Your words are very motivating dear. I will heed to what you have said. A good point I have noted is that I must confess when she is in a good mood. I will surely do so. Thanks for your response my friend.
1 person likes this
@Phlamingho (7825)
• Denmark
17 Jul 08
Well what exactly did you do!? To me it dosen't sound like you did anything with these other girls? I little flirting is no problem in my book :)
Oh and btw... Better hope you GF donse't know about a site called mylot.com :D
2 people like this
@excellence7 (3655)
• Mauritius
17 Jul 08
Well, I flirt a little with some girls..For me, I am feeling this like a guilt because I am already committed. My girlfriend does not know about this site...but still I feel very guilty and don't know how to bring the truth infront of her :(
1 person likes this
@excellence7 (3655)
• Mauritius
17 Jul 08
I appreciate this saying of yours 'You can't love someone and lie to them at the same time" I will try to expose the truth to my love. I love her a lot and trust her a lot. I will really try to tell her the truth..Thanks for your response friend.
2 people like this
@cavtel (186)
• Indonesia
17 Jul 08
Hi there, not so complicated for me (in my love life). well I think what you must do is, you already realize that you're mistaken and what you did is very wrong, because you still in love with your girlfriend and so does she, but you did that already, but Thank God, you realize that you're wrong, that is great! A lots of people doesn't realize it wrong, but you did realize it. I think, you should tell your girlfriend about this, take her into a dinner or something, sit and calm down yourself, explain to her slowly so she didn't MISUNDERSTAND what is the problem.
As long you can communicate to her, I think nothing wrong, and as long you' treat her farely, sure she will be mad for a while for what you did, but if she love you so much like you love her, I'm sure she will forgive you and she will understand you.
:)
2 people like this
@excellence7 (3655)
• Mauritius
17 Jul 08
Yes I did realize...it's a golden realization coming straightly from my heart...I don't want to lose my love..Do you really think a dinner will be the ideal way to tell her the truth? I want to explain her that it was due to some infatuation that I was misled and could not have control of myself and flirt with other girls. I am rather frank, I prefer to confess all to you friends because I know that I will receive good advices from you all. My friend Cavtel, do you think telling the truth will resolve all? She loves me a lot, but do you think she will really forgive me?
1 person likes this
@valeria1 (2721)
• United States
17 Jul 08
Well if you want to show her that you really changed you should tell her the truth.
Nothing better than the truth is hard sometimes because you think you will be punished for. Maybe yes, maybe no but go for the truth, so you can sleep at night very well!
2 people like this
@excellence7 (3655)
• Mauritius
17 Jul 08
You are so right. I have researched a quote of Gandhiji: " Truth is far more powerful than any weapon of mass destruction" I am ready for any punishment. I will tell her the truth but what confuse me is how to tell her :(
1 person likes this
@excellence7 (3655)
• Mauritius
21 Jul 08
Please don't say like this dear. "It will be hard for her to accept me"
Please don't say so..do you think if I confess, she won't accept me- in this case, I must not confess then because I don't want to lose her.
I have decided to make the confession in two weeks when I will meet her. What must I do now?
Please don't say so..do you think if I confess, she won't accept me- in this case, I must not confess then because I don't want to lose her.
I have decided to make the confession in two weeks when I will meet her. What must I do now?
@loveromances (89)
• United States
18 Jul 08
I would tell her the truth. I would sit her down with her favorite latte, and tell her the truth. If she leaves, then it wasn't because you tried. If you withold this, it'll be worse than if you don't. That route will be more damaging. The truth will hurt, and trust will be lost, and it will be rocky, but mending will be more probable than not telling the truth.
1 person likes this
@excellence7 (3655)
• Mauritius
19 Jul 08
Your response is very motivating. Thanks a lot for responding in this discussion. Keep providing your views on the discussions. 
@excellence7 (3655)
• Mauritius
19 Jul 08
Your response is indeed very insightful friend. Keep smiling and keep participating to my discussions because I really appreciate your views
@loveromances (89)
• United States
19 Jul 08
Thank you very much!!! When it comes honesty I am hard core. I've been down the unhonest road too many times. It's not a place to be. But by telling the truth, may not always be easy, but it is showing trust and meaning. You really can't say 'I care' more than the truth no matter how big the mistake. I feel that this is one of the reasons why I have such a strong marrage. I'm always riding my husband to just tell me flat out no matter how much it'll hurt. Once he saw that, he realized that I really meant it. He's made some vital mistakes, but he was upfront about them, and we worked through them. I was mad at him of course, but it was so much easier and better in the long run. When I mess up he'll get mad at me, but then I tell him 'Hey I'm being honest and upfront,and...' I'm really glad that you liked my response and found it useful.
I hope it'll make things so much easier for you and her. She may not understand right off, but she will in the end. Have a great weekend.
1 person likes this
@Amanda81587 (3042)
• United States
17 Jul 08
I guess the right thing would be to tell her so that she doen't find out later. But "what they don't know won't hurt them" always seems to take place in my situations. But thats only because I do not love the person I am living with, the kids are what keeps us living together.
1 person likes this
@excellence7 (3655)
• Mauritius
17 Jul 08
I agree with you. But dear, do you really think that for you it's only the kids that's holding your relationship- there is not love at all? I am sure there must be love between you and your partner. Well, I will make an effort to tell the truth to my girlfriend.
@shav9292 (928)
• India
19 Jul 08
make her jealous..lol
that's a very good way to get the girl.
yeah if you are really in love what you do is wrong as you are leaving everything incomplete.if you want to date others at least do what you have to with the first relationship.
@excellence7 (3655)
• Mauritius
19 Jul 08
Thanks for your views friend. But I don't want to date others. I love my girlfriend a lot. I made a mistake by being infatuated by others and by flirting. I will tell her the truth- that's the best way I think. Thanks for responding. Keep providing your views friend.
