I have finally left my husband from all of his abuse and unrighteous ways!!!
By cream97
@cream97 (29087)
United States
July 17, 2008 11:19am CST
I have finally left him! I am very glad to. I have taken an warrant out on his arrest. I have filed for Child Support with the court and DSS. I have also filed an Order Of Protection out on him as well. I am staying with relatives as of now. I am looking for me a job, so that I can take care of my three kids. I am also, looking for me a place to live too. I am glad to be out of this situation. I can't take anymore pain. Nothing has changed since the seven years that we have been married. My life seems to have been put on hold because of being with him, letting him brain wash me. I am tired, and enough, is enough! I want my life back, and I will get it too. I will keep you up to date, all, on any changes, just as soon as I get things straightened all out! Thank you all, to you, whom have given me all of your love and support! I miss you all, I will be back as soon as I can!
Right now, my husband wants me back, but I will not take him back. He says he is sorry and that he really loves me. But, I have given him three chances, I just can't do it anymore. His time is up. The moment, he abused me the first time, I should have left him then. But, I have taken him back, because, I thought that it would have worked out, and that I loved him, and did not want the kids to grow up without a father. He is making me feel like me leaving him will be the worst mistake that I have ever made. But in actuality, it will be the best decision that I have made!!
32 people like this
95 responses
@SwtJenlove (1090)
• United States
17 Jul 08
If he abusive and everything then i high-five you for leaving him.
dont let him sucker you back in because no offense to the guys but they have a habit of doing that. tell him "sorry doesnt cover the scars of abuse and never will" abuse only gets worst.. glad you left him!!
dont let him sucker you back in because no offense to the guys but they have a habit of doing that. tell him "sorry doesnt cover the scars of abuse and never will" abuse only gets worst.. glad you left him!!3 people like this
@krayzietam (832)
• United States
17 Jul 08
I am very happy to hear that you left. Just make sure that you keep it that way and don't go back. I hope you have really made up your mind because if you do go back again something horrible may happen to you or your children, especially since you have issued a warrant out for your arrest. Try to keep up the faith and know that you can make it through this situation. Things will get better. You have taken the first step.
@cream97 (29087)
• United States
17 Jul 08
Yes, that is what others have told me, I have taken the first step. By leaving him. I plan to never go back to him, although he think that I will. After, I seperate from him after a year, I will divorce him, and then file for Alimony. He must pay for what he has done. It is a shame how he brings God into the picture. But, he lives his life, like Satan. He will not rule me into being in a marriage as this. I want my life back!!
2 people like this
@foxyfire33 (10005)
• United States
18 Jul 08
I have never believed that God would condone a marriage like that. That is one of the most hypocritical arguments I've heard people use for being against divorce. God does have an image of what a Godly marriage should look like and control and abuse was not part of it. I have a whole big philosophy about marriage that I won't get into here but the way I see it, in God's eyes, your marriage was over the first time your husband hurt you. Your husband broke the covenent a long time ago and that released you from from any obligation.
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
18 Jul 08
If a husband abuses you and does not try to get help through counseling done by burly men who will say that they will beat him up if they heard he put a hand on you, then it is good that you will leave him. In this case, a divorce would be granted for physical cruelty.
As for the religious reason for no divorce, in our church the only divorce where you can marry again is if the husband leaves for another woman. And in your case, there would be a legal separation, but I doubt with your experience you do not want to be married again in the near future. But it looks with your husband's violent nature someone will not be able to take it, and you will be well rid of him permanently.
1 person likes this
@worldwise1 (14885)
• United States
18 Jul 08
It must have taken a great amount of courage for you to reveal the problems associated with the inner workings of your marriage, cream, and I wish you all the best. I firmly believe that the longest journey does indeed begin with a single step. It's great that you have the support of family and friends to help you move forward into your new life.
1 person likes this
@soooobored (1184)
• United States
18 Jul 08
Congratulations! And you are NOT robbing your kids of a father, you are liberating them from an abusive jerk!
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
18 Jul 08
No kidding! I so wish that people would stop saying things like 'Im afraid to leave because I don't want to take my kids away from their dad'. A real loving dad would never act that way, and you're right, what is the point of staying with an abusive jerk? Right, there is no point.
@ashutosh_15 (199)
• India
15 Nov 08
I really Don't understand, Why did You marry him without knowing him properly?
or he changed after marriage????
1 person likes this
@foxyfire33 (10005)
• United States
18 Jul 08
Congratulations! I am so happy for you! I didn't respond much, if at all, to your discussions about him because it all hit a little too close to home at times. This is really wonderful news. The only reason men like this beg you to come back and promise to change is because they have this need to control you, that's what makes them abusive. Now that he doesn't have you to control, he's scared. He's lost the one thing that made him feel like a man. His power is gone now and he's desperate to get it back. You did the right thing to get the protection order and the warrent. I am so proud of you! Good job, friend, and I look forward to hearing about the new life you are going to have with your children!
1 person likes this
@jazgottt (1180)
• Poland
18 Jul 08
hi cream. I think that the first step is the most difficult step. So when you will find a job and things will slowly go back to normal it would be easier to make ends meet. You are right that giving your husband 3 chances is enough. It is difficult decision to leave a husband, but sometimes it is a neccessity. I think you have made a right choice.
Good luck with your new life jazgottt.
jazgottt.1 person likes this
@scarlet_woman (23463)
• United States
18 Jul 08
you go girl!!
today is the first day of your new life.
nobody should have to take that crap from anybody.
whatever you do,don't take him back-that'd be a big mistake.
they always act so sorry at first when you prove you're serious.
today is the first day of your new life.
nobody should have to take that crap from anybody.
whatever you do,don't take him back-that'd be a big mistake.
they always act so sorry at first when you prove you're serious.
@mialei23 (2385)
• Philippines
18 Jul 08
Hi cream97, just for now be strong for your your children and for your self. You made a right decision. I heard a lot of you on your discussions and I know how you suffered a lot. Do your best to face your life for your children. Were here as your friend to guide you through. Take care my friend.Keep up the good work!
1 person likes this
@Bluepatch (2476)
• Trinidad And Tobago
18 Jul 08
You are right, and definitely so. My own sister stayed with an abusive husband for just about twenty years and you should see the toll that took on her.
She was daddy's favourite child and very pretty when she was young. Now, after the life she had you would not believe those things.
The sad part is that abuse is an emotional liability and needs treatment. It also is an extremely painfull thing for somebody to go through.
I was the subject of verbal abuse in a job for nearly twelve years and I know what that is like and how it affected me.
Far less for the other, more personal and violent, types of abuse.
I congratulate you, lady, and remember, no matter how lonely you get, you're away from a suffering you don't want to go back to.
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
18 Jul 08
been there done that. they never change no matter what they promise you. i wish you all the luck in the world. it want be easy but it can be done.
@spalladino (17891)
• United States
18 Jul 08
I'm glad you made the break, Cream, and please stay strong and don't go back. Nothing will change an abusive person so his promises are empty and I'm so glad that you realize that. Stay safe and stay determined and your future will be a lot brighter than you think. I was in an abusive relationship, too, and it was hard being on my own after being so emotionally beaten down but I built a new life and you can too.
@tamarafireheart (15384)
•
17 Jul 08
Hi cream97,
That is best news that I have heard, well done to you .No you can't take the abuse he is nothing but a big bully, do not take him back or go back to this man, he will never change. Now you will be happy without hime and can be your own person again. Good luck my dear in everything you do now start afresh and God Bless.
Tamara
1 person likes this
@LadyT1208 (181)
• United States
17 Jul 08
Hello Cream97,
I was getting a little concerned when you hadn't logged in for a couple of days, but I'm really glad to know that you're ok!
You made the right decision for yourself and your children, and though it's tough right now, these first steps have already put you on your way to being stronger and you will make it.
Counseling helped me get through a lot of baggage that comes with leaving a bad relationship, so that's something to think about it.
My best wishes and prayers go out to you and your family!
@dragonfly242 (1060)
• Bahamas
17 Jul 08
Good for you!
I will always maintan that once abuse starts, it very rarly stops.
Although starting over is not easy,i believe it's easier than staying in the situation that you were in.
I wish you and your kids all the best, and hope that you soon find yourself in a more stable situation.. a job and your own place to stay.
{{{HUGS}}}
1 person likes this
@marina321 (4556)
•
17 Jul 08
Well done Cream for taking that hard but very positive step
1 person likes this
@metschica25 (5399)
• United States
17 Jul 08
Cream I am so pleased you finally left him . I know that it must of been hard , but you found the strength . May things slowly fall in place for you and your kids . I am sorry you had to put up with such abuse for so many years .
Take care
@relundad (2310)
• United States
17 Jul 08
I am so happy to hear that you finally got the courage to walk out! Your kids deserve at least that. Trust me it is far better for them to be in a safe, non-threatening environment with one parent than two in the current state. You have made the firsts in realizing that something had to change and he wasn't going to. I admire your bravery.
I am also glad that you are aware that most abusers go thru the I'm sorry phase only to reel you back in but eventually return to there old ways. And normally each time that you go back it gets worse.
You have shown tremendous strength in making this move and I am sure you will have the courage and strength to do what needs to be done to take care of your kids.
Much success to you. Keep your head up and allow the positive energy to guide you in the needed direction. I am so proud of you!
1 person likes this
