Church wedding or Civil wedding?
By patzel88
@patzel88 (3310)
Philippines
July 17, 2008 10:35pm CST
My marriage was arrange as a civil wedding but before i got married i also want to a wedding in church but because of urgent wedding my husband and my parents decided to have a quick marriage. Now that i am married for 12 years, i just realize that nothing wrong with it wether it is a civil or curch wedding as long as the foundation of the family have a respect to each other. And also i save money to my marriage. hahaha
How about you guys what is your idea to this topic?
Share also your thoughts here.
Have a nice day to all mylooters.
5 people like this
22 responses
@jinxky (2248)
• Philippines
18 Jul 08
every woman wants to have a church wedding especially if she's a catholic/christian. i like church wedding, just like im walking in the aisle, all eyes on me & my future husband will wait me in front.. so romantic hehehe..
@Galena (9110)
•
18 Jul 08
well, you're wrong there.
I don't want a church wedding, and last time I checked, I am a woman.
what do you mean especially if she's a Christian? surely someone would only want a church wedding if they were a Christian, as otherwise you might as well be making your vows to the easter bunny. to make an oath like that before a being you don't beleive in is to make a mockery of your wedding vows.
so yeah. not every woman wants a church wedding. I can't see why you would ever think there was any truth in a statement like that.
@Galena (9110)
•
18 Jul 08
I would never ever get married in a church, as that would make my vows meaningless to me.
I wouldn't swear an oath to bugs bunny or spiderman, so I'd never swear an Oath to a god that I don't beleive in.
sadly I don't have the option of swearing my Oaths before my own Gods in a legally binding ceremony, as marriage laws in the UK are so outdated.
so civil ceremony it is. but the civil ceremony will take place AFTER my REAL wedding, before the Old Gods, with the Earth below me and the sky above. the civil ceremony will just be signing the paperwork, as I'll already be a wife when that ceremony begins.
1 person likes this
@Galena (9110)
•
19 Jul 08
it's either civil, with no religious or spiritual content, or church (including the some of the other religions ones I think, not sure) but no way of legal Pagan ceremony.
and another issue, is marriage is not about children for me at all. I don't want any, ever. it's about me and my partner.
1 person likes this
@ShealM (388)
• Canada
19 Jul 08
Do you have a Unitarian Universalist congregation in your area? A layperson can give you what you want within the legal boundaries of a civil union at the same time. Here in Canada, it's accepted. In fact the census here even has an option to state what religion we believe in rather than "chose" a specific set of choices it is that accepted.
I find it sad that you have to do it that way, why can't they change the laws? I've always been told the UK and Europe were always so accepting of differences.
1 person likes this
@hardworkingmom (1130)
• United States
18 Jul 08
I want to go to the justice of peace when me and my husband decide to make it official. But his mother wanted us to have a wedding because she wanted everyone and the mother to see it. This is my 1st and hopful only marriage but his 2nd marriage, we are both big on saving money(cost) but any means necessary. But decide to have it in our backyard. It was simple a couple of friends and family members and nothing but fun under the circumstance I personally went through. So for me it was other here nor there. We both know that neither one of us was going anywhere.
1 person likes this
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
19 Jul 08
We did not have the money for a traditional church wedding, and we were at odds with both of our families at the time we were married, so we went by ourselves to the court house and got married. No family aside from our kids.
There was nothing wrong with the way we got married, but sometimes I do wish I'd had a more traditional wedding, just for the memories. Unfortunatly now both my parents are deceased, although they weren't then.
1 person likes this
@ShealM (388)
• Canada
18 Jul 08
My situation is unique - neither civil or church. I am pagan and my marriage is going to be a pagan rituals marriage n a Unitarian Universalist congregation hall. It is a layperson who is also pagan by religion (She's Wiccan, I am Druidic Shamanism).
1 person likes this
@ShealM (388)
• Canada
19 Jul 08
I am pagan denotes that I do have a "religion". The fact that I said I am Druidic Shaman denotes that I have a religion or set of beliefs. UU congregation technically is a "church" but not in the traditional sense. The UU community accepts all and every set of beliefs systems, adopt no one set of doctrine but adopts all sets of doctrine.
It is one of the most open, accepting congregations out there (the Universalists). The very words Unitarian Universalist denotes the acceptance of all religions as a whole unit and universal. That all religions are the same path to the same light.
As a matter of fact I am an eclectic, solitary practicing Druidic Shaman. I take the doctrine of Druidry and Celtic Shamanism in a mixture as my belief systems with UU ties.
So I guess technically you could say it's a church we are getting married in but they do not refer to their congregational house as a church.
1 person likes this
@michele_villasenor (624)
• Philippines
18 Jul 08
Whether it be Civil or Church wedding, the most important thing is that you found the person you'd want to share the rest of your life with. I personally prefer church weddings because I'm Catholic and I believe that God's grace is important in every reltionship. We all know that when we get married in church the union is blessed by God.
@irishmist (3814)
• United States
18 Jul 08
Every Marriage is different, It does not matter how it happens, all that matters is that both people really love and care for each other, what really counts is everything that will happen down the line after you are Married.
1 person likes this
@bobet17 (158)
• Philippines
18 Jul 08
Both,As long as we love eachother,.and we know how to work with it,.We were talking about the marriage and not the wedding we have to ask our self first If we are ready to face another chapter of our life civil or church wedding Its ok with me,wedding is also Important And ofcourse I always want the church wedding.
@Barb42 (4214)
• United States
18 Jul 08
I always wanted a church wedding, too. But my husband-to-be was in the Air Force. So we decided to get married at the Court House in front of a judge. He gave us a long speech before he would marry us. I think it was just as good as a church wedding, and much cheaper. It has lasted for 44 years, so I think all is well.
1 person likes this
@muxicka (215)
• Philippines
18 Jul 08
I would prefer being wedded in a church just because of the culture I've grown up to.
I don't mind if I go on a civil wedding, since it's still a formal way of being united.
You're right, it really doesn't matter as long as your family stays intact.
But considering what the girl might feel, I would choose a ceremonial church wedding,
since it would give her a happiness.
@srpkinja (375)
• Canada
18 Jul 08
I dont see anything wrong with either choice, whether getting married in City Hall, your church, mosque, temple, anything is fine with me. But me, personally, I would rather get married in a Church. The atmosphere of the Church and your family and following your cultures rituals and such makes it just a bit more special for me. I cannot wait to get married, and when I do, it will be in a church with my family and friends. Somewhere I feel comfortable. Not just in City Hall, where it seems like it is being rushed or not as important. But whatever works for everyone else, I respect that.
1 person likes this
@XXTYCHABBYXX (239)
• United States
19 Jul 08
it really up to what the groom and bide wants but me personaly i want a BIG church wedding with all my family and friends ;)
@villageanne (8553)
• United States
19 Jul 08
I agree with you "to each his own". My youngest daughter had a big church wedding and it was nice. My husband and I got married at the preachers house and it was nice. We have been married for 30 years this Dec. Where you get married has nothing to do with how long the marriage will last.
@suspenseful (40192)
• Canada
19 Jul 08
I wanted a church wedding but the ministers in our church I belonged to did not have church weddings. I always wanted a church wedding, because the civil wedding we had reminded me of those weddings we saw in those movies about Communist Russia. There was the signing of the papers and that was all. I wanted to walk down the aisle, wear a white dress, have a bouquet of roses and carnations, and have everyone on either aisle watching me. I would not want an expensive wedding, just being in church.
@bbsr13 (4196)
• India
18 Jul 08
Hello,patze!Marriage is a social institution.it dose not matter where you married.do you know what is a marriage,what for marriage is required?Marriage meets the natural needs and gives social sanction and recognition for living together.so no matter where your marriage is solemnised,after all you are given permission by the society to live along with your husband.thanx.
@lvaldean (1612)
• United States
18 Jul 08
For me, I didn't care but my current husband cared a great deal. I personally would have gotten married without hoopala at the courthouse. But my current husband wanted minimally to be married by a minister, didn't need to be a big church wedding just a Christian Minister, he also wanted a few friends around, and to play dress up so that his family back in the islands would have pictures.
So that is what we did. The compromise was that we did it in Vegas! You can't imagine how hard it is to find a legitimate minister in Vegas (just kidding).
@shoffman2000 (560)
• Alexandria, Virginia
18 Jul 08
Civil weddings can be arranged quicker; church weddings are more entertaining and more All the members of my family were married in churches however a good friend had a civil marriage
