We NEED the room, and he WON'T leave...Any suggestions welcome HELP
By ersmommy1
@ersmommy1 (12588)
United States
July 18, 2008 10:59am CST
ok here it is. As many of you know I am expecting my second child around Dec 17 this year. We also have a roomate. My hubby and I took him in in order help him during his multiple knee surgeries and his recooperation. He was fully back on his feet this last February. We let him know we were pregnant in the 1st week in June. i need at least a month to have the bedroom ready for my newborn. This guy is single gainfully employed with a decent job and good salary. He pays us a miniscule amount in the way of rent. $300 a month. We asked that he be moved out by November 1st. He has made no effort to find a place. Then goes on to tell my hubby that he is DISABLED and will need more time he may not be moved out until December or later.
5 people like this
21 responses
@XXTYCHABBYXX (239)
• United States
19 Jul 08
Wow give him thirty days notcie once again and demand that he move out.tell him why though so he can understand you need the room and he not even really disable anymore.also congratulations on the child on the way !!! :)
wishin you good look.
@XXTYCHABBYXX (239)
• United States
19 Jul 08
ohh sorry also not to be to nosy but umm does his 300 dollars a month include food??
@Ldyjarhead (10233)
• United States
19 Jul 08
You've given him until November and he says he may not be able to do it? Good gracious, I could find a new place and be moved in a week or so, and he's got almost four months?
I would keep reminding him of the timeframe and even get it in writing. If you have to, he can be served with an eviction notice if he's not gone when the time comes.
@Ldyjarhead (10233)
• United States
19 Jul 08
Actually, I don't think it's an eviction notice, I believe the terminology is 'notice to vacate' or something like that. You can do that yourself and file a copy with your county. If he doesn't comply, he can be arrested, I believe.
@mtdewgurl74 (18151)
• United States
18 Jul 08
Don't forget to get the house key back if he has one..But they are chances he could have had it copied so just don't take chances and have all the locks or atleast the ones he had keys to removed and replaced. Better safe then sorry.
@lilybug (21107)
• United States
18 Jul 08
If you have tried to get him out and he is not taking you seriously I would be doing everything in my power to get him out. You said before that he is up half the night playing his video games really loud, well you start playing your television or radio really loud in the morning. Pick up a newspaper and shove the classifieds under his door. Get some boxes and pile them up outside his door. Get his mother involved. Maybe she can talk some sense into that thick skull of his. I would be making it as uncomfortable as possible for him to live there. Having bad knees is not the end of the world. He can get a ground floor apartment and not have the issue with the stairs. He has a job and he makes decent money. He has no excuse for still being there except being lazy.
You may have to end up taking legal action. Make him sign something that says when he is supposed to be out. Heck, since he is being a jerk about it I would be moving the date up. How's October 1st for him?
[b]
Need me to come visit to help get him out of your hair? I will be glad to make his life miserable for you.[/b]
@ersmommy1 (12588)
• United States
3 Aug 08
I truly love you!But knowing my hubby, he wants to take the more peaceful approach. You know how he is
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
18 Jul 08
Sounds like a complicated situation. I would say raise his rent. Tell him if he must stay, he must pay more rent, because $300 isn't enough considering he's taking the room you need for your family. Perhaps he will decide your prices aren't worth it, and find his own place.
You could also just put your foot down and say he has 30 days to get out, bottom line. If he doesn't have a place by then, tough cookie. It's your house! Then on day 30 if you must, call the cops to remove him. I know it sounds drastic, but you gotta put your family first.
@wildplace (154)
• Germany
18 Jul 08
Do you have a written contract with him?
If not, start help him packing his things.
I had my sister here in my house for month. Should have been only a short stop for her- but she won´t leave after month.
Then I started getting moving boxes and helping her to pack them. Mean- I packed and after awhile she understood the hint.
@mtdewgurl74 (18151)
• United States
18 Jul 08
That sounds like my niece and her hubby. They were supposed to spend the night and ended up staying almost 2 weeks. Then she went to my mom supposed to been a few days and it has been over a month so far..They are drifting no place to call home I feel sorry for them but I can't afford to feed them. He eats constantly not thinking of tomorrow. So my husband told them they had to go. They ate enough food in a week and a half that usually then we do all month.
@Debs_place (10520)
• United States
19 Jul 08
You are giving this guy plenty of time. I suggest that this weekend you grab a paper and take this guy apartment hunting or there are roommate finder services in many places in case he claims he does not have the money. You have been more then patient and deserve to have time in YOUR home to get ready for your baby.
@AshleyHasan (1024)
• India
19 Jul 08
Congratualtions! I am sorry to know that I understand how difficulty it will be to share a room with some one. I think it is time for you tell him about the delivery and also ask him to search some place before the delivery date so that it wont be any problem , you can put that in a nice manner so that he will not get hurted and he also can understand.
@im_tiggs (141)
• United States
19 Jul 08
He has overstepped his welcome and you need to get tough. You can Call Voc Rehab, Social Services or Council on Aging they all handle handicapped living and they can help him get a handicapped appartment/ housing. with reasonable accomodations. -even for a little bit. I have a friend that I let him stay for a little bit after he broke his leg... (we have known each other for 22 years and dated for 10 yrs, but decided that our love for each other is better as just friends and living together is out of the question! lol
They allow people that have conditions that require assistance to rent apartments. my friend, I am talking about broke his leg in March and I got him an handicapped apartment and they allow that as long as a physician says that he needs assistance. They can get Home health in to assist him!
November 1st is plenty of time to find a place. If he won't move out - put him out!
They can always get people to help him move his belongings.
I wish you good luck. I suggest when you decide to close this topic you hit PRINT and Put it in front of him and let him read it! lol
@applefreak (3130)
• Singapore
13 Aug 08
oh dear he is really inconsiderate. how can he take advantage of your kindness?!?! it's really upsetting to be in this kind of situation. short of chasing him out, i really can't see how this can be resolved. he must know that you are serious about the situation. it seems that he is trying his luck to continue staying with you.
maybe you want to start buying baby furnitures and stuff. bring all those stuff inot 'his' bedroom. also, start painting the room in the colour you want some time around end october. hopefully he'll get the message that you are really serious about this and move. good luck ;p
@schulzie (4061)
• United States
20 Jul 08
You probably don't have a written rental agreement with this roommate. It is your house and I think that you have the legal right to have him removed from your house if he will not leave.
And please, get your locks changed as soon as he is gone. If he won't leave after being asked to, then I would do this:
He has to go to work or to the doctor sometime. So, when he does leave your house get all of his stuff and stick it out on the front lawn and get the locks changed at the same time. Leave a note on the items saying goodbye.
If he stays and pounds on your door, etc. Call the police. You have to re-claim your own house.
Good luck with this situation.
@DaddyOfTheRose (2934)
• United States
4 Aug 08
I had a friend who was living with a couple. He decided to move out right quick when they started having lots of x in the house. They were a weird kind of people that would do inappropriate things at parties and such with people present. That sent him screaming from the house. This might not help in your instance, but your hubby might appreciate my suggestion anyway.
Best of luck with that, all kidding aside. :)
@lyzabelle (1668)
• Philippines
19 Jul 08
[b]Well, he really liked your place.
That's why he's not moving out.
Maybe you need to talk to him seriously
about the room for the baby. Is he ill
again? I wonder why he doesn't want to move out.[/b]
@Barb42 (4214)
• United States
19 Jul 08
You may have to go through the police or a lawyer to get him out. If he hasn't signed any papers giving him the right to be there for a certain length of time, I think you have the right to move him out. Why not just pack his belongings and set them outside the door and refuse to let him back in? If he has a key, put new locks on the doors! I think he has overstayed his welcome. Sounds like this guy thinks he has found him a permanent home with you. I would gather this will give your husband a reason to think twice before asking someone else into your home.
@mtdewgurl74 (18151)
• United States
18 Jul 08
Wow,You might have to go about it the legal way. That is why I like leases so much. I think maybe he is afraid to be on his own becuase then he would have to deal with cleaning and cooking and other thing that you do or do for him. If I was you maybe you could tell him you will help him find another place to live. Maybe he just doesn't want to look for one. I know you are busy and have alot on your plate right now but maybe you and some family or friends can find him a little place. He probably likes the freedom he has of just cleaning his room and not having to pay alot.
@Linda4ualways (2282)
• United States
18 Jul 08
You see, God says that we should open our doors to those in need and it seems that when one does that, it tends to backfire at times. Now you were nice to this person and now he wants to give you a hard time? It's people like that that make you not want to bring anyone in your home. He has been there for over a month so he can fight you on leaving your home legally.
He realizes probably how much he is saving by not paying full rent. Is he selfish? Well stay on him and stay on him hard, letting him know that you will not stand for it and that you were there for him but now he MUST GO!. I wish you the best and God Bless!
@TessWhite (3146)
• United States
19 Jul 08
I'd say give him written notice that he has 30 days to leave. If at that time he doesn't leave then put his belongings outside and have the locks changed. People like that will hang around forever if given the chance.
@tamarafireheart (15384)
•
18 Jul 08
Hello you really have to put your foot down on this, your husband should firm and tell him that he outstayed h your welcome and that the baby needs that room, if he astill insist when he is out just throw his things out, we had to do with someome many years ago.
Tamarafireheart.
@inia_54 (175)
• Malaysia
19 Jul 08
Woww, this guy is really a 'thick skin' person. He should be grateful to what your husband has done and yet he had the nerve to decide whether to move or not to move out. I think you should put a full stop to this. Be firm with your decision. You can show your seriousness, by inviting a contractor or an interior decor (you can ask your friend to pretend) to have a look at the room. You can discuss things like what colour you want for the room and things like. Do this with him around. You can also start buying things for your baby and pile them outside the room. By doing so I hope he would feel uncomfortable to have the room by himself.
@elsalvadorian05 (15)
•
19 Jul 08
Well, it seems as though you've set out the boundries clearly even before this guy moved in. You laid it out, and he knew exactly what to exspect, and so did you and your family. This dudes poor planning does not constitute an emergency on your part. Stick to your boundries, sometimes you've got to be mean in enforcing them, and while that may be hard, your not helping this dude be a successful and responsible human being, and your putting yourself and your family in an awful position. If your worried about hurting this dudes feelings, it's not your fault, he needs to quite being lazy, and step up his game, and if he gets his feelings hurt, that's his problem not yours, and he'll get over it, and if he dosen't, then he's not the friend that you thought he was, and your better of anyways, don't worry so much about what others think, do what's best for you and your family.