How Far would you go for an ex spouse?

I would be there for my children just like Matt was as they would need comforting and support but if my ex wanted me there to I would also go, he was a human being that I loved once and had children with and I would be upset that he was suffering in this way and would do what I could to help wihtout it affecting the love I felt for the person I may be woth at the time this was happening. Most of all though I would be there to listebn and comfort for the children as in my situation it would be their father that was suffering and they would be upset and hurt and would need me. Ellie :D

I would probably go that one step further and talk to her with kind words and re assure her about the well being of the kids. I would also do it for reasons of kindness and also to make sure that the person has some pleasant last moments irrespective of the way the relationship ended.

Matt is a good man for that. I know many men who would say to heck with it. She doesn't want to see me- I'm out of it. I also say bravo to you- for not being upset. I know a lot of women would be. To choose their kids with another woman over them. I'm with you- I think it was a wonderful thing that he did. I hope his kids leaned on him. I can't imagine losing my mom- so I know it must be hard. I would like to think I would do the same.

It depends what kind of relationship you have with your ex. If you kept a friendship relationship I think you should be there in times of need. It's someone you have spend a part of your life with and with whom you have children. The second question is a yes to. For my children I would be there, even if I didn't have a great relationship with my ex. Luckily I'm still together with the father of my boys, but if I wasn't I would be there to support my children. Have a nice day

I wouldn't go very far for my ex-husbands. Yes I have two of them. But I can tell you a story about my sister and her ex-husband. She has been divorced form him for about 8 years now and they have two boys together. They are 15 and 14 years old. My sister's exhusband has been diagnosed with cancer and has been fighting it for about 3 years now. He doesn't have a throat anymore and has one of those things in his neck to breathe and talk through. He has a feed bag because he obviously can't eat with no throat. He is in remission and expected to be there for a few years, as if the doctors know that. So my sister has invited him to move into her basement so he could be with the boys more. I think that is very big of her, putting her own feelings aside for the sake of her boys. Who know how long he will have left to live and so she wants her boys to know their dad better by living with him. It is more convient for him to move into her place than have the boys move to his, also then they wouldn't get to see their mom every day then. I don't know that I could do what she is doing. But I can't say for sure I wouldn't do the same thing, unless I was in her footsteps, than I can't talk.

I'm very sorry over the situation, especially the cancer for his ex, BUT I think he has gone too far. Yes, they were married. Yes, they have a history. Yes, they have children. He needs to keep in mind that he now has a partner. He needs to make closer friend with his children so that they will have a small transition to accepting you when their biological mother isn't here any more. I don't think that visiting without you being present, was a very good idea. It displays more feeling than should be there, even though she has cancer. I would never do that unless my wife was with me. My last two wives both like my current wife and she understands them.

I had my definite ideas about this until I read that he was "just staying in he waiting room." That changed thing a bit. "Be there for the kids..." That I can understand. On the other hand, to cancel plans with you? Um..... Hmmm.... How would I feel if Walker was at the hospital for the kids because one of the exes was dying? Would one of my parents be there for me if the other parent was dying? I think not!! ON THE OTHER HAND, if Walker wanted to be there for the kids SEPARATE FROM THE EX-WIFE who was dying, I would be in the waiting room WITH HIM.(that's what I'd do, not what I'm saying everyone must do). He would not ask me to stay away because it's just him and the kids, because I'm his wife now. This woman may be their mother, and they may want his support as their father, as the family, but I am not part of Walker's family, Walker is now part of my family. I woudln't let my family not include him either. I would be tere for Walker, because though he may not has the same emotional inestment in the situation as the kids would (ex-wie vs. mother), as THEIR FATHER he would still be under a lot o stress, and I would want to BE THERE WITH HIM. One of us would not let the other be excluded.

well now that I havent sen my x since 62 dont think I would for our kids have all grown and not interested in him. So I wouldnt go.

I think that is very nice of him, he is not going to see her because he knows that she doesn't want to see him, he is going to be there to support his children, remember it is their mother who is dying and they need all the support they can get. That is very nice of him to do this for his children.

Hats off to Matt, really a caring personality. If ever i am in such a situation, i will go and see my ex. Because i feel there is nothing wrong in giving solace to the dying woman. She may refuse to see Matt because her conscience would hurt her, for divorcing a good heart.

Yes, I would do just as Matt did for the sake of my kids. I would even go in the room to see my ex if he wanted and respect his wishes if he did not. No matter what or how we feel about each other, he is the father of my children. As for her not wanting to see his mother, well cancer patients are on some very harsh meds. She may not be acting as herself or it could be that she just does not want others to see or remember her as she is now but rather how they knew her. When my mom was dying, she was on some very strong meds and she kind of turned on my brother and niece whom she'd always been very close to. At times she even turned on me. It was pretty hard to deal with but we had to just keep reminding ourselves that she wasn't herself. You have a nice man there winterrose...sounds like a keeper to me.

Well after years of fighting with my first ex we stopped fighting because it would be hard on the kids. He was different after he had a really bad heart attack. We are more of a "family." Will explain this more in a few lines. Now, there is my second ex. I left him and there were really no hard feelings. I would get mad at him for not seeing the kids and would pop in and out of thier lives every few months and my youngest got to were he was really hating him for that and would refuse to even talk to him or if he did come to see them he would leave for the weekend. Ok, now to get back and explain were I left off. Now ALL of us, including hubby number 3, get along with each other. When I have a picnic I will invite them and my first ex will bring his wife also. We sit and talk about anything or about the kids growing up and the stuff that they are doing now. If we need help with something, we call each other. Now, even with all the fighting that we would do if either of them was in a pinch and had no place to live, they have stayed with me. Years ago I had a three story house and I rented that area to my first ex when I was with my second husband. He had is own entrance and the kids would see him or "spend" the night with him when they wanted in his apartment. Worked for awhile until I was leaving my second ex because of the abuse on my younger two boys. So my exs stayed at the house and I moved to an apartment. Now, my second ex has a few mental issues of getting a job and then thinking he can do better by doing this or that and then ends up homeless. Now he bounces between my house and my first ex's house. All of us have limited family or no family at all in this area, so we formed our own strange family. Because of the kids I could never let them really know that thier dad is living in the streets and starving. What kind of lesson would that be to my children? Now to get back to your question, yes, I would go and sit by my kids and if the ex is dying, his side also. We are all connected to each other because of the kids and even though a couple of them are of age, we still have them together. I know some couples just never speak to each other at all ever again unless it is the birth of a grandchild or even marriage of that child that they had together, but then there are a few others that can be friendly. You make your family what it is in the long run. My younger two don't really have any aunts or uncles, so my first exs family is thier aunts and uncles. I tell my kids that family doesn't have to be just blood, it can be others also that you love and care for. You might be wondering what my currect hubby thinks of all of this, he is fine with it. He has always had family and still does. I go to all of the family picnics and so do the kids. But this part of my hubby's family does not interact with my exs and that is fine because they don't have to really. Thanks for the question.

I would walk across the room for my ex s. Considering how sh---y they were to me.

Hi my friend My ex-husband and I were married for 18 years and have a 25 year old son together. I have been married to my current husband for the past 9 years. My ex and I still get along quite well even though we don't see or talk to each other very much. He had a bad heart problem that put him in the hospital a couple of years ago. I found out from my son. I talked to his wife and she told me what was going on and that he was going to have to go thru a procedure the next day. I offered to come to the hospital and sit with her if she wanted. My son was able to do that and I didn't go. His wife called me when it was all over and everything went fine. He is 15 years older than me and in bad health. If he were dying, I would not only go for my son, I would go for myself to see him. If my son needed me for my ex's last hours, I would be there. I see nothing wrong with it and my current husband understands that. I think Matt is just being a very caring father to his children and a friend to his ex-wife. If she doesn't want to see him and he's there for the kids, that is especially caring. Those are his kids there and you should be proud of the kind of man he is. I'm sure he will always be there for you. Have a great day, Char

I think your Matt is one special guy. He is wanting to be at the hospital so his kids can lean on him in their time of sorrow. There are not a lot of people who would do this. His relationship with his kids must be special. I can not say what I would do. I don't have a ex and so I can not even think in the terms you are talking about.

I'm sooo... sorry for coming in so late. I would always like to see the person who is going to die very soon. So even if my ex would have not liked, I would have gone to see her, like Matt.

well i'd say it's a good thing he is doing. she may be his ex wife but they have shared a lot of things. being there for his children is necessary too. to see their mother dying can be a really traumatic experience. knowing that Matt is outside somehow provides them the link to the real world. even if it's just an ex boyfriend, i'd pay him a visit. not matter what had happened, we've share happy moments and true feelings for each other. cheers ;p

I would do about anything for my ex. We just weren't meant to be together and he could live with me if he didn't have a place to go--which may just happen eventually, the way he spends money. I no longer hate him, thank goodness, and he gave me two wonderful children so I'd do anything I could for him. You Matt is a rare and special man.

I think what Matt did was the right thing to do. Even though his ex-wife did not want to see him that didn't stop him from being there for his kids. IT was a hard time for everyone. I am sure that it was very hard for Matt knowing that is ex felt so stongly about now wanting to see him but I am sure by being in the hostpital he was doing in end by just being there. His support towards his kids shows exaclty what kind of person he is and its awesome!

Hey winterose, your Matt sounds like a very special person. Not many people would do things like that. I personally would definitely be there for my ex husband if he needed me to be. I haven't seen him in 6 years and he is remarried and has children but if for some reason he needed me I would definitely try to help in any way I could. An ex spouse is someone you shared part of your life with and for whatever reason it did not work out. I know alot of relationships end badly, which is very unfortunate. I am lucky my ex and I did speak and he would always go check on me after our divorce was final. I remember specifically him already dating the girl who he would end up marrying and me dating what would end up being my second husband, he would go to my job and check on me every day. He would constantly tell me that I should give my "boyfriend" a chance because he knew people who knew him and they told him that this guy loved me. It was really difficult because at that time I was still in love with him. So I am glad that it didn't end badly and I do think if I needed him that I could contact him for help.