Married or Room-mates?

I think it is unfair for the husband to do that to her wife. But I don't understand why the wife agree to that idea in the first place. I think she should get advice from financial adviser or a marriage counselor before things get worst. If she doesn't act now things will blow up sooner or later. She should put aside some money for herself incase the relationship turns sour.

If it works for them, that is great. The degree they are taking this arrangement to is a bit extreme for my tastes, but I'm not the one living that life. Keeping at least some finances separate within a marriage makes sense-- especially since money is one of the major causes of arguments within most marriages. However, some overlap is reasonable; a marriage is a partnership.

Personally, that is a little too crazy. I would tend to think that that is not a Marriage at all, and not sure how if I was the woman could go for something like that as well. My husband and I have seperate accounts, etc. stemming from I used to be on Disability, and they used to require me to have a seperate account then, and I do have Bills my Check from work goes for, and then we have the Bills his check covers, and then the rest we use for Groceries, Gas, etc. But we do not say well, I am going out with what is left from my Check, and you have to fend for yourself if you do not have money as well. To me, that is selfish, and never the way God intended for a Marriage or relationship to be.

its nice they have their own money, but the fact that he earns more so goes out without her leaving her with the kids!! i find that quite unexceptable! i hope he uses his money to take his family out, or like when things are needed for the house is that down to her too? i'm sure he loves it, him at play while she's still working hard keeping the kids and home happy, what is she, a stepford wife???

I don't know whether I agree with that kind of marriage or not. I guess that each person has their own way of doing things. My hubby takes care of the finances because I get to frustrated with them, but we both can log into each other's bank account online (so we know each others passwords and stuff).

There is no wonder, They might be Gud friends,as it work for them.

I would share my bills, you are together in sickness and in health and for better or worse so you should also help each other to rough financial times. I know couples who live like this and it doesn't make me happy to see such things. Chances are high I will earn more than my boyfriend later on in our lifes as I have a higher education and want to work fulltime, but it would feel wrong to keep it all to myself. You are buidling a life and a family together and I feel you should both finance that. You do everything you can and you should have equal rights and money because of that. If my boyfriend wasn't even trying to get a job or to study it would be a whole other case, but it sounds like in this case both work hard and in my case that's also true and then you need to share everything in my opinion.

I was raised in a home where my dad made most of the money, and after I got older my mom made a fair chunk of income as well. My mother was always in charge of the finances and my father trusted her with his check. She did all the budgeting and most of the spending. So I was used to sharing the responsibility or the idea of sharing it for finances. When I married the first time, it worked pretty well. As bad as things were with my ex, we did work pretty well together with joint accounts etc. Now my husband doesn't want to have a joint account and I am not able to get any money without asking him. I don't know what level of modern living this is. It seems rather primitive to me.

I have had many married friends that lived different then I did. Though the years I had friends that had one mate in the service so they lived like they were single for months on end. I guess Different things work for different couples. xoxoxoxoxo

Me and my boy friend are staying together. We have not married yet, but we are going to register soon. So far we always share the expenses, it would be better. If any one of us lost job for may be few mont, still can afford, but if longer, then not sure. The reason to stay together is to have lower cost in expenses. But nowadays, the pricecs for everything increasing, so there's not much difference. Actually a couple staying together to make sure both can suit each other and be familiar with each other. Most of the time, the expenses can't be counted clearly.

it sounds to me room mates with marriage certificate. having a room mate even sounds better that their arrangement in my own opinion.

[b]This is really odd. My heart goes to the wife who are earning less. So, if it's the settlement they both agreed to. There's nothing we can do about it. But what i don't like is that the husband should give more for the expenses since he earn more than her. Maybe it's better if they will combine all their earnings and less it with expenses. Then they will divide between the two of them the extra money left. At least...all is fair.[/b]

its really weird. ive never heard a couple acting this way until ive read your topic. they should be sharing. wheres the love on that scenario. i mean wheres the idea of "whats yours is mine and whats mine is yours". im amaze their still living together. its the love thing again huh.

Quite easy. when one loses her job, loan from their partner !I am kidding. yeah, u are right. it's not like a family, to be indepent in finance is OK, but go that too far. How could a husband have a night out spending his money while leaving his wife home? At least, he can treat her just he did before they got married. I would rather have a pet dog than such a "Husband".

I've heard of dividing bills and having private bank accounts, but not that they each only live by their own income. That sounds very unfair to me. Spending money should be shared between the two of them.

Me and my s/o have been living together for a little over 3 years, and we both work. I pay for my vehicle insurance, vehicle is paid...by him, and my cell phone, all utilities, and any of my personal expenses, such as hobbies, etc. He pays the bulk of the bills since he makes 3 times what I do. However, when it comes to going out, or something for the house, most of the time he pays for us both to go out, both of us buy things for the house, and we share pretty evenly when it comes to buying groceries. I do think it's strange that you stated he goes out without her! because she can't afford it.....that is weird in my books. As for either of us losing out job and what would happen....first, there is no chance of him losing his job, he's been on the job 25 years and is taking retirement next January. There is that possibility of me losing mine I suppose, if wildland fires become a thing of the past....I work for the forestry. I'm not sure that there are many married couples living like you say they do. However, I'm not sure much would change if or when we ever decided to get married. I was married before and our incomes were combined, even though for the most part I took care of all the bill paying in that marriage. Maybe like you said, it's the way new married couples are living, each doing their part, or their own thing as the case may be.

its perfectly normal to share expenses as same as of roomated too at the end of the day itz the same deal and god forbid tommorrow there are some fights atleast no one can blame the other saying iam taking care of all the expenses,that said its te right thing to do.

kowgirl hi my hubby and I,when he was alive, had one account for th household, then private accounts for each of us, thus we did not have to ask one other for money to buy a garment or go to a restaurant. out of the household account we paid the rent and utilities and food. we were both working at the time, and when I cquit to have b abiers, we still kept our accounts the same way as I went back to work when they were older.

Me and my husband work this way. We both make though around the same amount of money. It works out well for us. We split all the utilities and house note equally. We pay for our own vehicles and insurance. We half the groceries and the vet bill. He pays his child support. I pay mine. We each buy our own kids clothes, Christmas and B-day presents. I like it because I love to shop and he can't say anything about me blowing money as long as my half of the bills are paid. Right? That is right. We have separate savings accounts and when it comes to big purchases like couches and such we agree and each put in half. It works the same I think just allows you to have your own personal spending money that I do not have to justify to anyone. I can go buy 100 dollars worth of yummy cupcakes and he does not have the right to say anything about it.

Wow !! I guess I can't call THAT a married relationship! I think, at least for me, there is no love with that type of thing. Because, as what they say, SHARiNG iS LOViNG. When you love the one you're with, you wouldn't care no matter how awful/great the finance situation is...why? Because YOU CARE FOR THAT PERSON..you love that person! So you share what you can for her. Love is a GiVE n TAKE relationship and that's something we need to keep in mind. Give and take..if it's for the finance stuff or for the emotional stuff. Because that one of the wonderful love thing can offer to our lives. GiVE AND TAKE. :)