what does money mean to you?????????????????

I'm broke most of the time so money is usually on the brain. I don't particularly love or hate money. I don't really aspire to be rich per se but I'm constantly thinking about how I can get enough money into the bank so that I don't have to worry about paying the bills. I am also frightened by the fact that my ability to make a living is limited so I am trying to save money for the day when I am unable to do very much with myself. However, it doesn't always work out. I guess I was born to live a "Bohemian" life, where the lack of money or at least the periods of no money will be part and parcel of my life. It's like when I have no money or worse - owe money to people I shouldn't owe it to, my mind starts to feel alive and I go into an overdrive of trying to solve the financial crisis at hand. As a writer, I tend to do most of my writing during periods when I am most broke. To many people, I suppose money is a source of status, or self-worth. To me, money is a form of security. When I have it, I can breath easier. When I don't, I start to panic about how I am going to live - like everyone else I have bills to pay. I mean, I could more disciplined and stricter about things like who I lend my money too. However, I seem to be attracted to people pretty much like myself who chase dreams without the security of money. Can be a tough way to live, sometimes I wonder if this was a root cause of the breakdown of my marriage.