How Many Times Do You Have To Face Your Fear?
By Brian
@wolfie34 (26771)
United Kingdom
July 22, 2008 2:42pm CST
Most of us have our own personal fears, fears that stop us from doing certain things in our lives, whether part of our normal day to day life routine or whether we want to do something different but we fear the consquences
Or we have had something happen in our lives that has made us fear to do them again
It is true that the only thing to fear is fear itself and to conquer fear we must face it head on
But if we do face a particular fear, do we have to do it just once to stop us fearing it ever again in our life time, or do we have to do it over and over again to prove that we can do it and fear is not stopping us?
For example, my fear was of flying alone, but last year I travelled to Rhodes and I faced my fear,
If I never fly alone again have I proved to myself that I no longer fear to get on a plane on my own
Or do I have to do it again and again to make sure I never fear again?
What is your point of view, do you enjoy facing your fears and once you have beaten a fear of something do you feel you have to prove it over and over again
Or once you have faced your fear, that's it end of story, you've done it, you don't need to do it again?
7 people like this
18 responses
@ellie333 (21016)
•
22 Jul 08
Hi Wolfie, I use that phrase a lot ' the only thing to fear is fear itself' as fear breeds on fear so by fearing it I feel you can attract it into your life. My biggest fear used to be of fire but having had my family home engulfed and then being trapped in another and then my car go up in flames I have faced it overcome it and now have respect for it and work on preventative for it not happening again. So I believe we do have to face more than once to completely overcome but the first time we face is the first step in being able to do this. Well done for getting on that plane alone and for flying the once, the second time will be easier I can assure you but you probably will need to fly a few times alone to completely overcome. Ellie :D
3 people like this
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
22 Jul 08
Wow I have admiration for you that was some fear to overcome! Thank you for sharing. I think the more you think about something the worst it gets, when you actually get on a plane it ain't as bad as you think it is, sometimes you can exacerbate fear by putting irrational thoughts in your mind, like you are feeding it and fear can only grow at your command! Stop feeding it and like anything it will die!
3 people like this
@ellie333 (21016)
•
22 Jul 08
Hi Wolfie wow yes 'stop feeding it and it will die' got it in one, we as human beings hold ourselves back in so many ways from achieving because of fear but takes it power away by not feeding it and we are such a force to be reckoned with and we get our own power from within back. Ellie :D
1 person likes this
@ellie333 (21016)
•
22 Jul 08
Thankfully the only casulties were a broken ankle by one of the children jumping out of a window and that fire was caused by an electrical fault on a cooker at a friends house I was visiting, my childhood home was a faulty parafin heater and the car was a mystery to this day but that one even though frightening at the time was a crazy day experience as it happened at the pertol pumps and I know I had to get the car off of the forecourt so drove into the main road, the headlines read, Potential Disaster Averted and in my forties I maged to stop the traffic, make the headlines and pull the fireman LOL so good came out of a bad situation afterall eh. I am pleased you have overcome your fear of dogs as dogs do sense when people are scared and that makes them worse somehow. Ellie :D
@risris24 (712)
• United States
22 Jul 08
I face most of my fears on a daily basis.. Not that I am paranoid about everything by no means... But I am not an ocean person, I fear the ocean water which is strange because as a kid I was fearless and you couldn't get me out, but as I got older I started to not like it and fear the unknown of the water. If I am away on vacation there is no doubt in that crystal clear blue green water that I will go in without hesitation but here in NY where the water isnt as clear or clean, I just build myself up and start getting anxiety and panic. But since this heat is unbearable I have no choice but to jump in and cool off unless I just don't go to the beach at all. After I finally get in and start enjoying myself I think that it wasn't so bad afterall and I don't know why I panicked in the first place.
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
23 Jul 08
Well Wolfie you are braver then me lol
I will not fly I am to scared and I think I would have an Panic attack which is no use to any one really
I don't think I could be as brave as you and try to get on a Plane
Well done Sweetheart Love and Hugs xxxx
@howard96h (11640)
• New York, New York
23 Jul 08
Hi Wolfie, I have such a fear of those MRI machines there is no way I can get into that narrow tunnel and lay there to have x-rays done. I doubt I will ever get over this and I don't even want to experiment and try. I know they have open MRI's but they are few because they are so expensive as opposed the the closed ones so basically all the clinics use the closed units. I guess the only way I can have an MRI done is if they knock me out cold otherwise I will turn into neurotic crazy man and try to break my way out.
1 person likes this
@howard96h (11640)
• New York, New York
23 Jul 08
Good question, Hmmmmmm I really don't know. If I am in the underground subway that does not bother me at all nor does being in a small elevator but I was watching a tv special about how people dig underground tunnels and just watching it drove me crazy. I guess I just answered it - huh? LOL How much is your fee Doctor Wolfie? Hahaha
@bonbon664 (3466)
• Canada
24 Jul 08
I've had to do this alot, because I did suffer from panic attacks, and it got to the point where I was very afraid to go anywhere for fear it would happen again. I decided I couldn't live my life that way, and go ahead and do those things. So, I have to face my fears all the time.
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
2 Aug 08
I think it's not so much the act of "facing your fear" but more of feel your fear and do it anyway. So in that case, whenever something comes up and you fear it...just say ok, I'm scared and go ahead and do it. I think you just keep doing it till you accept that you are afraid but the main issue is not the fear of the act but the act itself. That's what's more important. In your case, flying by yourself to Rhodes was a bigger thing than your being afraid to fly alone. Hugs to y
ou Wolfie my good friend.
ou Wolfie my good friend.
@cdparazo (5765)
• Philippines
31 Jul 08
That just doesn't work for me. I am afraid of flying because I had a very terrible experience of our plane almost crashing...but that is another story. I had to fly regularly because of the nature of my job. However, there are just instances that I just can't take it anymore and would opt to take the day long trip through bus rather than take the half hour trip through plane. I can only take as much tension and stress over a period of time. I keep on telling my colleagues that one day I would die of heart attack while flying. It is such an involuntary reaction for me that I had done everything to just not think that i am flying but my heart just dont understand it would start to pound and my hands would start to sweat and my skin would become clammy and my color should turn like a sheet and start to faint. gosh! i think I do look a sight whenever i fly but its a necessary hazard to my job that I have to do over an over again. Its such a torture for me.
@chrislotz (8137)
• Canada
25 Jul 08
Wow, I haven't seen you around for a very long time, wolfie. Where have you been? It's good to hear from you, my friend. I have a lot of fears that I face everyday. But I do face them, and try to overcome them, although it is really hard sometimes. I have recently moved to a new city, new province, and I have not made any friends yet and that is my greatest fear right now. I don't know where to go to meet new people. I don't want to find them on the internet, but I may have to as I don't know where else to go to meet some new people. I guess I will have to face that fear, more headon, and sign up with facebook or something to find some friends. I wouldn't have a problem with it, if I was younger, like my daughter, who meets new friends all of the time, on facebook and msn messenger and plenty of fish. But then she is only 25 years old and has more options to meet people than I do. I mean, how many 50 year olds are looking for new friends on the internet?
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
23 Jul 08
I face fears everyday. Who doesn't, if they are honest. I face them, I defeat them - for the most part, and I move ahead of them. There is always going to be something we fear unless we live in a closet and never come out. It is how we deal with our fears - how we face them, that counts. Most people resort to gossiping about others, attacking or belittling them, in an effort to make themselves feel better about their own fears and shortcomings. WRONG way to handle it, but people do - it's the nature of humanity. Kinda sucks, but that's what we've made of our lives. So kudos to you dude for facing your fears, and let's just hope the rest of the world follows!
@lyzabelle (1668)
• Philippines
23 Jul 08
[b]I'm afraid of heights since i was young.
I know i have to conquer it. One day, me and
my friend went hitchhiking. When we arrive to
our destination there's small falls there. The
water is summoning us to take a swim. All of us
went up at the top of the falls. The heights is
making me dizzy already. On the top, five of my
friends begun jumping in to the water. Until
there's only two of us left. He knows that I'm
afraid of heights. My feet begun to move backwards.
My friends below are calling us to take the plunge.
Before I knew it, I was embraced by a hard body and
falling down below in to the deep water. Did I feel
afraid? A little. So i did it again five times with
him holding my hand. And my final step I do it alone
while he's waiting for me below, smiling. That's it,
end of story.[/b]
[/b][b][/b]
[/b][b][/b] @harishv (149)
• India
22 Jul 08
So many times, when i suppose to give a seminar about Modem i had a fear that what questions professors may ask. To overcome that I made a list of questions on the topic and i referred five-six books about modem, i made it sure that i haven't missed anything about modem. Finally, i answered all the questions, this is how i overcame fear. I faced fears during riding bike, during exams and while submitting my project.
@CLARENCE16 (6)
• Philippines
26 Aug 08
every body have fears in life, and for me we need to face all of these to move on and become happy, you know my friend if you have fear in your heart you can not move on you can not do what you want to do so the best thing is to try everything if you failed try it again untill you succeed, just like in decision making in life lets say when we got married we really do not know what happen but still we try it all we know is we love each other aside from that nothing.It s just like some fear in life we need to experienced it if we really want to know the answer.
@weemam (13372)
•
22 Jul 08
Off the top of my head I can't think of a fear I had to face pal , Maybe the first time on a plane was it for me too , I was scared then I remember , Sorry pal I don't think I have been much help . I am very proud of all the things YOU have done in the last year though xx
@pumpkinjam (8767)
• United Kingdom
23 Jul 08
Well, the only fear I have really is of dogs. I don't have any fears of doing things that I know of. As my fear is of something so common, I do have to face it a lot. I am still scared of them and therefore, I don't think facing my fear will ever go away. As I work as a distributor, I have to deal with my fear every time I am working. In fact, I had a dog follow me about last week. I was completely terrified even though the dog was just following and not doing anything.
I know my fear of dogs is a different kind of fear from your fear of flying alone but I think it's the same principal, you need to keep facing a fear to be sure you jave overcome it. You might have another opportunity to get on a plane alone and you will still be scared. I don't believe that fears ever go away (with the possible exception of hypnosis or something). Overcoming a fear completely is probably impossible. The only thing we can do is challenge it. You have challenged your fear and won but that doesn't mean that you are over it.
@MichaelJay (1100)
•
22 Jul 08
I'm not sure it is enough to say once you've done it, you've beaten it. Doesn't that feling come when you do it over and over and are no longer afraid?
Many of us can do one ild thing in an act of almost bravado, and then say 'I've done that' - like a bungee jump, maybe.
I'd be TERRIFIED of doing that but I think I would do it. Doesn't mean I wouldn't be bricking it a second time.
My dad used to say that real courage was being afaraid of something but doing it anyway.
@magojordan (3252)
• Philippines
23 Jul 08
Well in living everyday I have learned to face my fear at any random point in my life. I learned that we should be brave enough to face them at unexpected times because we really don't know when will be the time to face them. If we were able to conquer our fear then it is a fulfillment on our part 
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! 