Should wives always be submissive to their husbands?
By rdcortezjr
@rdcortezjr (30)
Philippines
July 22, 2008 7:29pm CST
We are newlyweds, barely six months. We have had a lot fights, what with all the adjustments newlyweds encounter. Whenever things come up, we usually talk about our own opinions and go from there. I want this to happen in my way, and my wife wants another way of doing it. So ultimately, who should really decide? I mean who's decision should be followed?
1 person likes this
9 responses
@greenglitterturtle (2750)
• United States
23 Jul 08
a man must first use good reasoning and the greatest possible love. then when there are 2 there has to be a tie breaker. and it is the man. but this is not to be taken lightly. with great care and love you seek the best solution.
1 person likes this
@rdcortezjr (30)
• Philippines
23 Jul 08
That is going to be a tough decision. I have this feeling that my decision should be followed, but then again she does have her points to consider. Hmm..
@se7enthbird (8307)
• Philippines
7 Aug 08
i am a husband and we are married for 5 years already. before we got married we live-in together for three years so we had adjusted already. in marriage couples needs a lot of adjusments. both of you need to sit down and talk about it ike two civilized people. here is one of the things we do. we always have something that we right on, for example a pad where we write what we want to happen with something. now if i give way next time in a different situation i have to get my way then so on. so it is always a give and take. it is nice to exercise this kind of system.
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@se7enthbird (8307)
• Philippines
7 Aug 08
yes it works for us. but i need to remind you that you have to write it down for the meantime.... you know woman alwasy love to have their way so you need to remind them that it is a give and take. i didnt have a problem with my wife with that but some other friends of ours.... their wives loves to have their way more than twice before they give their husbands way. so just make writting about it. har har har
@rdcortezjr (30)
• Philippines
7 Aug 08
This is a good advice. If I give in and let her have her way, then the time, I will have my way.
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@ketybhagat (4123)
• India
7 Aug 08
NOOOOOOOOO way. I hate this chauvenestic attitude. When you are married, there has to be love and understanding in it. I am sure there has to be a middle path where both your ideas can be incorporated. If not, make turns. This time we do it my way, next time your way and then stick to it. Dont back out when her turn comes.I am married for nearly 23 years and we have both learnt to adjust. Where there is love and understanding, all hurdles can be overcome. Dont even think like a chauvenist for it is the first step to a failing marriage. Each person is an individual with their own prefrences and opinions. Just because you happen to be a man does not make you any better. Remember if you respect, you get respect in return. Please take this attitude out of your life and see how smoothly yourlife will be. Have your own way and also let her have her own freedom and encourage her.
@relundad (2310)
• United States
23 Jul 08
For me I was raised on the principle that a woman should be submissive to her husband. And I don't have a problem with that as long as its warranted. What I mean by that is that I have no problem being submissive as long as its warranted. I mean I am not submitting just because he is man and I am woman. I think that is where the problem comes in, sometimes that the only arguement or justification that the man has to bat with..."Me Man". That wont fly with me! If he has his families best interest at heart, is truly the head of his household,the leader and respectly requires submission on a particular issue then I will submit.
@rdcortezjr (30)
• Philippines
7 Aug 08
That's what I'm talking about! If its for the family, and it won't harm anybody, I really think the husband should have his way.
@Jade13 (262)
• Malaysia
23 Jul 08
Me and my hubby are newlyweds too. We had our arguments, on little little things regarding the house. Sometimes neither of us want to submit in. Some arguments started small then ended up big, and of course LOUD. :-p But we tried to you know, give and take, forgive and forget. Most of the time, my husband gave in to me, but sometimes i gave in too. A marriage need maintenance, tolerance. So my suggestion is, may be you guys put out areas, which husbands decides, which the wife decides. But somethings need agreement from both side. For example, where to have dinner? So why not sit down and talk, and go to the place where both of you agree on?AHAHAH
@rdcortezjr (30)
• Philippines
23 Jul 08
You got that right. Marriage needs a LOT of maintenance. We've been good listening to each other's opinion and feelings. It's just that times come when we both have good points (meaning we are both equally right), and it all comes down to who's decision should be followed. On most times, I tend to do what she wants because I want her to be happy. But then somewhere deep inside I have this feeling that I should have done what I wanted. But we do agree that it should me, the husband, that should have the last say right?
@acmomcee (49)
•
23 Jul 08
I'm also a wife. In our country, there are beliefs that women should do whenever they are in their weddings. They said, when you are on your way out of the church, women should slightly stamp her feet on his husband's and she should go out the church first before her husband as for his husband to be the one submissive in their marriage. However, when I was told about that, I told myself why will I do that? He's my husband and there's nothing wrong if I become submissive to him. Therefore, I never did such during our wedding.
Now, whenever we have things to decide on, we always talk about it. Who's opinion weighs more, then one should learn to agree. Yeah, there should be a give and take relationship. There are times when ones decision is not the best decision, however one gives in because of love. There are times when I don't want hubby to buy gadgets he likes, but because I know he'll be happy to have it, I can't help but give in. Same with me. When I really want something that he knows I'll really be happy with it, then he gives in. It's just a matter of give and take and that be sure no major consequences will result to that decision.
@idowrite72 (2213)
• United States
23 Jul 08
There is no particular way that this can be answered. It depends on what the situation is. If it involved buying one car over another, I would want my husband to make the major decisions, since he probably would know more than I would. I do not think that the wife should always be submissive to her husband. She has a brain and an opinion and intelligence to make decisions, as well. It just depends on what the decisions are.
@ghidz142126 (534)
• Philippines
23 Jul 08
As stated in the Bible "Wives submit yourselves unto your own husbnd".im going to explain it to you.For me not all the times, both of you should talk and if the two of you needs to decide look it in an easy way,coz the secret is give and take relationship and you should think if the decision of your husband is right,if not you should do what is right.
@polaris714 (607)
• Philippines
23 Jul 08
I am a wife, and a bit old-fashioned at that. So I subscribe to the idea that wives should submit to their husbands. But I also believe that the couple should talk it over, you know, synergy and all that stuff. I don't think there's a cut-and-dried answer to your question as to whose decision should be followed. It always depends on the situation and your values as a couple. Happy mylotting.
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