Child Free by Choice

Welcome to myLot, Newbie! Before a couple chooses not to have children, they certainly go through a lot of dicussion and soul-searching. That being said, I think it would be selfish to have children you didn't really, really want. Neither the parents nor the children in such circumstances can have the optimal life! I adopted because cancer took away my options, but the kids I adopted were either run-aways or throw-aways fro their birth families. It was difficult, but at leasr I felt as if I were doing something meaningful. We all have very different views on child-bearing, and none of them can be wrong. Our choices are based on our possibilities, and they're nobody else's business!

i dont think so.. me and my hubby are choosing to not have kids and i think its better to chose not to even if people viewed it as selfish than have a kid and hate the responsibility and the kid feels unloved all the time

I know a lot of people who think it is....but I'm not one of them. I am a firm believer that if you feel you are better off not becoming a parent, it would be wise to follow your heart rather than end up with a child you don't know how to handle. Wanting kids and not being able to have them is sad. Having kids and not really wanting them is dispicable. If it is your choice to be childless, be confident in that decision.

I think it would be selfish to have children you didn't want. I really never envisioned myself having children when I was young. Life taught me differently. I had two boys, both now grown, and a couple live in family teens as well. I am a huge advocate of children and have been volunteering my time for 25 plus years consistently. Life sometimes has a way of altering your thinking.

absoluetly not as long as both parties are in agreement. It is actually much nicer than having a child you don't really want to "fit" societies standards!

no, it takes 2 to have a child but one to decide to not.

NO!!! It is a responsible, personal choice! If you and your husband/wife do NOT want children, then for heaven's sake don't have any! People are still a little crazy when it comes to "having a family", to married couples, but if you feel this way (any of you out there), stand your ground! I have known too many people who have kids because they should or have to and both the parents and the kids suffer greatly. There is absolutely nothing wrong with not wanting children in your lives. Not everyone does. This opinion is given by someone who wanted 10 kids and was only able (finally, miraculously) to have one, by the way! :-)

No, I don't think so. I think it should be left up to individual choice. Some people would rather not have children and that might make them happy. I have a four year old son and I am now forty years old. It is not always easy caring for children. If you are not sure about raising them than it is a good idea to not have them or at least wait. I don't judge anyone at all for their choices when it comes to having children or not.