Loving Girlfriend VS Housemate's Maid - Where to draw the line
By Tam_Tam
@Tam_Tam (23)
South Africa
July 24, 2008 8:00am CST
My BF and I, together with one of our friends moved in together a few months ago. Things went great the first week or so, untill our housemate's true colours started to show.
I mean, as a devoted GF, I know my duties are to cook for my BF, do his laundry and do the dishes, which I really don't mind doing. But what if our housemate (whom is single and doesn't enjoy the "benefits" of a partner) starts to expect me to do the same for him?
Just the other day Housemate went out with his friends for a BBQ. I grabbed the opportunity to cook up a romantic candle-light-dinner for my BF and I and to enjoy the evening alone... just the 2 of us. When Housemate came back, he started to yell at me for not cooking dinner for him!
Besides that, he gets cross with me for not doing his laundry on time and not cleaning up after him immediately. In the 3 months we have been staying here, he has used the vacuum cleaner only once... the complaints go on!
HOUSEMATES & HOUSE Rules: Where do you cross the line and how (without disturbing the peace)?
[PS. mind the grammar, ENG not my 1st language;-)]
4 responses
@rockvixen (894)
• United States
24 Jul 08
I have to ask, but has your BF actually witnessed this behavior that your housemate has been showing? If you're BF has seen it he should also be willing to say somehing to your housemate. I think your housemate is controlling and expects to much, he may be jealous that you cook and do for your BF but not for him. You need to talk to your housemate and find out what the deal is. All of you live together and all of you need to pitch in, they cannot expect you to do it all. If it's not working out, perhaps you and your BF should consider a place for just the two of you. Basically you all need to talk about the issue and find a solution you can all agree on. I really do hope it all turns out for the best.
@Tam_Tam (23)
• South Africa
24 Jul 08
I must give credit to my BF. Yes, he has withnessed some of this behavior and will snap back at Housemate in a strong yet suttle way. See, both my BF and I aren't fighters, but the type of people who will keep quiet and build up our frustrations, until we suddenly explode. Yes, he does stand up for me and really loves me. The thing is, how can one confront the housemate and still avoid to spoil such a beautiful country-side house with that permanent vibe of a silent war?
@eabaterina (501)
• Philippines
24 Feb 09
he is so bad and so wrong in assuming you are supposed to do his laundry and cook for him. if i were you, i would have told him directly i do not have to do his laundry and i do not have to cook for him, each of you should fend for yourselves. he does not have the right to get angry with you or your bf. if he's jealous, then that is his problem, not yours
@palonghorn (5479)
• United States
24 Jul 08
Since your boyfriend hasn't said anything to this roommate, you should! I know I wouldn't be putting up with that. I don't mind taking care of the house, doing laundry etc. for me and my s/o, we both share in the cooking. And I don't mind doing most of the housework, because at the moment I'm off work (medical leave) so therefore I don't think he should have to work 8+ hours a day and then come home and have to do laundry or clean house. When we both are working he helps out and we both do it. However, if one of his friends was to move in with us and started to treat me like that......if he didn't say something (which I'm pretty sure he would) then I would in no uncertain terms tell this 'friend' that I was not his maid. I don't mind doing almost anything for anyone, if they ask or if I offer, but him demanding it.... I wouldn't put up with for one minute.
@cursedsoul (925)
• India
24 Jul 08
Oh tam, just make it clear to him that you're not his maid. Don't get trod on like this. This is outrageous!
