should you tell some one if you receive a gift from them that you can use?
@moonlitmagikchild (22181)
United States
July 25, 2008 3:44am CST
im allergic to a lot of things and i have gotten several presents that i cannot use such as bubble bath or lotion that i cant even open near me much less use.. i know these people didnt know mostly because they wouldnt think i had allergies (dont ask me how since if they paid any attention they would have noticed) but i try to just act like i like it and not mention that i cant use it since i know its not like they can take it back or something.. i dont want them to feel bad but on a few people i keep getting the same things that i cant use 
i tried mentioning between holidays how i "found out" or something that im allergic to this and that but i guess they just dont remember or care etc.. so what should i do? i just take them and see if a friend wants it etc.. i dont really care if i am missing out on a present but i do care that i feel like i am lying to them to be polite and they may figure out later and be upset what sucks the most is that i used to LOVE all that stuff before i became allergic to it so they are probably remember when i loved it
i tried mentioning between holidays how i "found out" or something that im allergic to this and that but i guess they just dont remember or care etc.. so what should i do? i just take them and see if a friend wants it etc.. i dont really care if i am missing out on a present but i do care that i feel like i am lying to them to be polite and they may figure out later and be upset what sucks the most is that i used to LOVE all that stuff before i became allergic to it so they are probably remember when i loved it 8 people like this
18 responses
@Vladilyich1 (1454)
• Canada
25 Jul 08
I would definitely make them aware of my allergies. If they still give you something that you're allergic to, I'd politely tell them and say that you'll give it to so-and-so...
@moonlitmagikchild (22181)
• United States
26 Jul 08
well i have mentioned several times about my allergies but it doesnt sink in.. it would be easier if i could just say i am allergic to this and that but i never know half the time what i will be allergic to next.. i think it would hurt his feelings if i tell him straight out i would be giving it to some one else though 
@TessWhite (3146)
• United States
25 Jul 08
I've had the same problem over the years. I'm allergic to Avon products but yet kept getting their stuff in my stockings. I'm also sensitive to some scents which can cause asthma attacks, so I always ask for things to be unscented. But no one listens. Finally I quit saying anything. Now I accept it with a smile and put it into my closet to be "regifted" the next holiday or occasion. Yep, I give the stuff to someone else the next holiday or birthday. Saves me a few bucks and doesn't hurt anyone's feelings. Oh yes - I also tuck in a note to myself as to who I received it from. Wouldn't want to give it back to the same one you got it from!
3 people like this
@Bluepatch (2476)
• Trinidad And Tobago
25 Jul 08
Just mention to them that you've become allergic to this or that.
But do it a while after you receive the gift so its doesn't look like you're telling them to take it back.
If somebody doesn't pay attention to this then obviously that person doesn't care too much about what you think.
There are people like that. Who do things for different reasons other than the idea of being good to somebody.
3 people like this
@moonlitmagikchild (22181)
• United States
26 Jul 08
well i think the person just doesnt remember or something because i know that the person isnt like getting it to make me miserable or anything but i have said several times over the last couple of years and it hasnt sunk in.. i used to love the bath type stuff but now i cant be around it and well he probably remembers me living there and liking it and now doesnt understand i cant use it or something sigh
@walijo2008 (4644)
• United States
25 Jul 08
I would just re-gift it, and tell them casually that stuff like that makes you allergic, you used to use it but for some reason you became allergic to it. Thats a hard question to answer. I know I have alot of stuff like that, thats been given to me, and I don't use half of it. I just re-gift it if I can get away with it..lol.
3 people like this
@moonlitmagikchild (22181)
• United States
26 Jul 08
i just try to find a friend that likes the same stuff and ask them if they want it..
@Tianna2 (1273)
• United States
25 Jul 08
I would think that would like to know that they are getting you somthing you can use. I would say something but do your best to be diplomatic about it. They are your friends and trying to get you something, you dont want them wasteing their money. You might give them back something and tell them that you just found out you were alergic or tell them that it caused a rash or something like its something that just came up.
Hugs, Tianna
@moonlitmagikchild (22181)
• United States
26 Jul 08
yeah i could do that but then i would have shown i had already used it and it couldnt be taken back then so they would feel like it was all a waste.. *head to desk*
@moonlitmagikchild (22181)
• United States
26 Jul 08
i reminded them several times over the last two years
@jillhill (37354)
• United States
25 Jul 08
I like listening to the John tesh radio show and he says that your only responsibility as being the gift reciever is to do just that....recieve the gift and then it's your's to do with what you want.....how about regifting them...giving them to someone else that would be able to use them. Then take the money you would have spent on a gift and buy yourself something you can use? Sounds like a plan to me! LOL
2 people like this
@moonlitmagikchild (22181)
• United States
26 Jul 08
i usually just see if my friends would want it.. i dont have anything against re-gifting i just rather people know it was something i had received and couldnt use that way if they are allergic or something to it its not some vicious circle of the traveling bubble bath lol
@newtondak (3946)
• United States
25 Jul 08
I am allergic to many lotions and perfumes, but I am sure a lot of my friends are not aware of it and I do not make an issue of it. I graciously accept the gift, and then either keep it in my spare bedroom or bath for my guests to use, or give it to someone else that I know can use it. In the past, I have also contributed such items to homeless shelters or donated them for boxes of things to send to our military troops.
@newtondak (3946)
• United States
26 Jul 08
It's not the gift - it's the thought behind it.
1 person likes this
@moonlitmagikchild (22181)
• United States
9 Aug 08
i know that is why its hard.. i am grateful i received the gift so i dont want to judge it by telling that person that i cant use it..
@moonlitmagikchild (22181)
• United States
26 Jul 08
if its was just once in awhile i wouldnt even care but its like every holiday/birthday by several people so ugh!! but at least if its a basket or bath set i can usually find like a sponge or the last one had a cute basket that i can use again
@p1kef1sh (45681)
•
25 Jul 08
That's a tricky one. You don't want to offend, but I for one, would prefer to know that the presents that I buy are going to be of some use. I think that if it is a present from someone that you don't know too well then it's best to leave it. But if it's from someone closer, then maybe drop the hint loudly that whilst you love bubble bath, you can't use it because of your allergies. Or ask if it's OK to take it back to the store and exchange it for the non-allergenic type.
3 people like this
@moonlitmagikchild (22181)
• United States
25 Jul 08
well a big problem is that 1 person i really dont think pays attention when i have told him before and asking some people if you can exchange it wont work because a few people i know are on a super tight budget and maybe dont want me knowing where they got it from (as in how much it cost) so it would be embarrassing for them.. like i said i dont care since its nice i got something i just dont want to embarrass them or feel like i am lying either i feel like i cant win ya know??
i feel like i cant win ya know??2 people like this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
26 Jul 08
moonlitmagikchild hi if its a close relative I point blank tellthem thatI am very alleric to this product so maybe
you could give it to a friend who likes this brand? better to be honest and make them know your allergies than to pretend.maybe
next time they will give something different for a gift. I have done this and they were actually pleased I had told them. so the
next time I got a gift it wa a gorgeous silk scarf that matched my best dress it was a very nice gift
1 person likes this
@moonlitmagikchild (22181)
• United States
26 Jul 08
well i have left hints between gifts but i just dont have the heart to unwrap something and then be like "opps im allergic to this"
@kukreja (33)
• Canada
25 Jul 08
no it would be better if you dont tell them cause it dosent look good but then again it depends on the others persons nature. if you think hes not gona mind then go ahead tell him but otherwise if ur not shure urself then jsut dont. if he/she does give u a gift taht u r allergic to then just dont use it. simple as that =P =)
2 people like this
@moonlitmagikchild (22181)
• United States
26 Jul 08
i wouldnt care as much if it was just once in awhile but its every holiday/birthday but i do think it would offend the person which is why i have kept my mouth shut so long
@saundyl (9783)
• Canada
25 Jul 08
I have allergies to a lot of perfumed items and other scents...(ok i have alot of allergies to begin with) I generally don't mention that I'm allergic to an item thats gifted to me. If asked later on if i liked it or used it I'll say i tried it but found it caused an allergic reaction and i passed it on to a sibling or another friend and that i really appreciated the thought.
I do pass the items on to friends and family afterwards so it doesn't go to waste. I do make note of who gave it to me so I don't accidentally give it back t them. My boyfriend is really really good at finding perfumes i can wear...and wear without killing my mom.
2 people like this
@Nana530 (286)
• United States
26 Jul 08
It's really hard to know what is the right thing to do in a situation like this. I know, because I'm allergic to the world. It really seems that way. lol
Most of my close friends and family members know that I suffer from many allergies. But sometimes I do get a gift that I am allergic to. I usually don't say anything and just give it to someone else. I have even taken things to the nursing home and gave it to the nurses there to find someone who could use it and enjoy it. I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings so I just keep quiet about it.
Maybe I should tell them, I'm not sure. I know it wouldn't make me mad or hurt my feelings if the situation were reversed. So I may be doing the wrong thing. I think I probably would if this person was giving me this gift over and over. But if it is just a one time thing; I just keep it to myself.
Nana
2 people like this
@moonlitmagikchild (22181)
• United States
26 Jul 08
this person usually thinks that certain people should get certain things (females = bubble bath, perfume, candles etc) and well im allergic to 99% of all of above
@Olimar181818 (3)
• United States
26 Jul 08
Usually people always say "it's the thought that counts" which is true. If they put the effort in giving you a gift, its really the effort that counts. You can buy yourself gifts anytime, but you can't make someone kindly give you a gift and expect nothing in return. I usually get just money for all my presents so I can buy whatever I please! If my friends or family give me a something I dont like, I usually say aw thanks for the gift and hug them :)
2 people like this
@moonlitmagikchild (22181)
• United States
26 Jul 08
yeah like i said if it wasnt often i wouldnt mind.. i just feel guilty about it being so often and me not telling them.. although i have told them repetitively and it didnt work
@sunshinelady (7609)
• United States
26 Jul 08
I'm the kind of person I would let them know I can't use that kind of thing. I would explain to them that I am allergic to it. From what you said they probly don't know you are allergic. I would do it in a nice way but I would explain to them I can't use the things they are giving me.
1 person likes this
@moonlitmagikchild (22181)
• United States
26 Jul 08
they have been told through out the year before hand but its like it doesnt sink in
@izathewzia (5134)
• Philippines
9 Aug 08
I just keep it so the person who gave it to me will not get offended. Or I ask someone from the family to use it. So it will not get spoiled or wasted. I don't throw things. But i gave it away. So others can use it. Especially those who needs it.
@mimico (3617)
• Philippines
26 Jul 08
I think you should. That way, the gifts won't go to waste. And it'll be so much easier to shop for you because the choices are narrowed down to stuff that you aren't allergic to. Of course, you should tell them about your allergies in a subtle way so as not to seem presumptuous.
1 person likes this
@moonlitmagikchild (22181)
• United States
26 Jul 08
well they dont go to waste since i usually can find some one else that likes it but ive tried subtle and it hasnt been working
@metschica25 (5399)
• United States
26 Jul 08
Aww, I am sorry you cant use that , and i think it is ok to say something if you are a close friend . I dont think i could tell someone since i would not wanna hurt their feelings , and i would just pass the gift on 
i kinda would be upset too that no1 listened to me , and knew.
i kinda would be upset too that no1 listened to me , and knew.@moonlitmagikchild (22181)
• United States
26 Jul 08
i think this person is just the kind of person that means well but doesnt take a hint
