Will I ever love again?

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I am a 31 year old lesbian, and have recently been single for almost 2 months now. The relationship I had was good, but there was one thing that always tore us apart, and that was a bottle(alcohol). And unfortunately, the bottle won. After 3 years of convincing myself she would change and I thought I could win her over, it never did happen:( I would of done absolutley anything for that girl! I have never felt so hurt and worthless in all my life. My trust in people is pretty much gone (due to the fact that I was lied to almost everyday), my self esteem is also shot. I have not been to work in over a month now, I just feel so lonely and ask myself everyday..why? I don't now if I will ever be able to let someone get close to me, I am afraid I will never trust again. Has anyone ever had this feeling?! or has anyone been in the same situation?!, I would love to know. Or would even like to know how in the h*** to heal!