what is good parenting?

Just so you know, all kids at one time or another think that their mommy is bad I can honestly say that I've been fortunate enough to have never been considered that by my kids or anyone for that matter..BUT I've a VERY close relationship with my children and always have (oddly enough we were all just talking about this sort of thing the other day)

Beating and screaming at your kids is child abuse and is punishable by law ABSOLUTELY!! and IMO when a parent constantly beats their kids and screams at them they ARE a BAD PARENT...Granted I scream at my kids when they seriously tick me off but I'd NEVER beat them...hell i dont even spank them anymore (havent for yrs)...I dont care HOW HORRIBLE a child may be beating them is NEVER excusable as far as I'm concerned and parents like that should get beat down them damn selves

I think fearing either one of parent is acceptable in India if not in US, I don't beat kids at every instance of fault, being mother I know kids learn from their mistakes and I allow them to do that. It happens occasionally where they really get into your nerves and as no other way works out I think as a parent it becomes my responsibility to make them aware this behaviour is not acceptable.and how do we make that realization , by showing our anger but not in the violent form. this is not child abuse.I think most of the parents would have done it at some point of time.beating does not mean holding a stick and attacking the helpless child,and I am not hurting my child, I know my threshold.I know you cannot rise your voice to your kid in US, for that matter we leave them to decide on their own. but that is not so in India , we look after our kids till they complete their college , guiding them in every walk of life, say for about 25 years. so we kind of moral police them. this much of liberty is given to parents in India and eventhough I feared my parents when I was a kid, that helped me to controll myself and give the best , I am not at all violent in my life.

I guess I have a different opinion when it comes to parenting and child behavior. I used to yell at my son when he got naughty, but found that after so long, he just started to tune me out. It got to the point where I was yelling my head off, and it didn't make any difference in the way he behaved. He just stopped listening. Now I get down so that we're face to face and let him know that I'm disappointed in his behavior, and let him know why what he's doing is wrong and how I want him to correct it. He's much more responsive to this and we can have an open dialogue about what's appropriate and what's not. If I scream at him when I'm upset, all that teaches him is that he should scream when he's upset too. As well, it doesn't take holding a stick and striking your child to be considered abusive. An open hand or a clenched fist can be just as painful. Leaving a mark is abuse. Leaving bruises is abuse. A light slap on the rear end is spanking, and should only be done to get their attention. I'm not sure what the culture is in India regarding child abuse, so I'm not sure if that's the way you see it or not. Fearing consequences is good parenting. A child should fear that if they do something bad there will be consequences. But parents are supposed to love their children, not teach them to fear them. If my son misbehaves, he knows that a toy he loves or something he enjoys will be taken from him, that he'll lose the privilege to go play with his friends, or that he won't get his favorite treat. He knows exactly what I expect from him and he knows that while Mommy loves him very much, there is much that I won't tolerate. He also knows that whatever happens as far as consequences go, it's ultimately his decision. He's responsible for what he does, and that any consequence that arises happens because he made the decision to misbehave. I'm teaching him about personal responsibility and doing it without having him fear me. There are many parenting styles besides mine that work equally well, without having to strike the child.

My girls are 4 and 2 they say please and thank you and all without using a belt to force them to do so!! You dont force manners you teach them you show them through appropriate actions how to behave in a good way if I say my pleases and thank yous and remind my children while they are small they learn, i dont have to beat them to make them do it!!!

that would be "bad mommy"