life leads to dying

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i was in my senior year in college when mother's father died. i acted normal as if it was juts a ordinary event in life. i continued attending my classes, as mother went home to the province for grandfather. death has been introduced when i was in grade one when father's mother died. by then i am no longer new to wakes and funerals, be it for friends, classmates, teachers, relatives, people that i knew a little about, and mostly because our choir do services for funerals and wakes. and to all of it, I never shed a tear. as they placed the cement to fully covered my grandfather's coffin. i shed a tear, at that time i have realized what death really means. maybe because grandfather is related to me that's why i cried. but just maybe, i am old enough to understand the event. it was then that i realized that i will die too. that anytime, i will no longer exist. picturing the day that i will die. it made me cry again. indeed i am no longer new to wakes and funerals. grandfather death made me open the the reality that i will be having mine sometime. how open are you to your own death? who's death made a great impact in your life, especially to dying?