How do you end your relationship with your husband?

From everything you've said, I don't think you want to make this work. However, if you want to try to be nice about it, I think you should tell your husband that if he doesn't grow up and quit all of these pipe dreams, you will be filing for divorce. Also, if he threatens you, you need to immediately get a restraining order and file for divorce. Just be prepared for the worst but hope and expect the best. I'd suggest talking to an attorney before you even say anything to your husband because of potential violence. Get the attorney's take on things and let him or her advise you of what may be best. I hope that helps.

I had a failure marriage and i guess same reason as yours and the sad thing was he beats me.I worked so hard and suffered alot because i don't want a broken marriage and i don't want our child to grow without her father.When we have already a child we always want the best for them and it hurts us when we can't provide the things they need specially they are just kids and always wants what others have.I felt like a knife was stabbed in my chest everytime she wants to eat out like jollibee ,mcDonald and other food estbalishment that has mascots and i have no money while he just hang out with friends and gets drunk.I sacrificed to save our marriage for the sake of our child but one day i was awaken by what our child said to me that we must leave her father because she gets hurts everytime he beat me.I never had any doubt.I packed up and left him.Now, i am blessed to have a very kind american husband and accepted my daughter as his own and give all the love she needed from a father.I know this is a very tough situation for you because we don't have divorce there and we value our marriage so much but as new generation comes and another comes again.Things has changed.We should think for our child's future and our own happiness.I didn't say leave your husband but try to figure things out.If your not happy then theres no reason to stay.But do it in a nice way.Talk to him gently and make him understand.Goodluck!

I would just come out and tell him straight out that you are not happy being married to him. I don't think you should be subtle about it. If you feel unhappy and stressed around him, tell him. Honesty is the best way to deal with this. Good Luck

Just for the record, I completely believe in love and forever...and all that stuff. That said, I also believe that if either party is not happy... what you have is NOT the forever kinda love. Your cheating both you and your husband out of finding happiness by staying with him. You need to be strong and stand up on your own. Contact a lawyer, have him served,(or what ever they call it where you live) and start living. Your son has lived with out his father for two years now...and is doing well. That should tell you something. You have been happier without him...that should tell you something. I think you already knew before you posted this what you need to do. I really doubt if counciling will make your husband less of a putz. I don't know you, but I do know nobody needs or deserves a anchor around thier neck. Set yourself free...and live without guilt. Lifes too short to worry about whether or not this "adult" you married can take care of himself. You got married to have a husband, not to be your husbands mother. Also, when you do start dating, don't feel bad if you don't feel the same about someone else. Dating is a weeding proccess... throw back the duds!!!! When you meet mr. right, you'll know it. Let me reitterate... YOU'LL KNOW it. That will be the forever kind of love in the story books. Do you want to know how I know this? My ex-husband was NOT for me. I currently have the kind of love that will last forever. It is based on an ENORMOUS amount of mutual respect, and admiration. My children are better for it too!!! They know can see first hand how a healthy relationship works!!! Good luck, and more importantly BE HAPPY!

first, please do not think "....it's my fault, i should have been patient." this is not your problem. this is a problem HE has. not YOU. he places blame on bad luck: and it's really him. he sounds very selfish: his way or nothing. i can understand fully how you are happy now. you have fewer problems without him around. the reasons you married him to begin with might be all gone. i work at a crisis center. i am telling you to speak with a counselor for YOURSELF. you do not want him to hurt himself. he is your child's father. you also do not want to stay with him because he MIGHT hurt himself. if he uses that as an excuse to keep you...you are a prisoner. he is using blackmail, not love, to keep you. Blessings to you and your son.

It's really hard saying goodbye to somebody who is your husband. But you have to be firmed on your conviction to start a new life. Don't let fear deter you from the right direction that is your freedom. You deserve someone who is far more better than him. Wish you luck.

It's sad to see any marriage split up, especially when there are children involved, but if he's already been gone for two years it's not as though you have really had a marriage anyway. I do understand how you feel though I had a husband that always had a reason for not working or not keeping a job till he finally gave up all together and didn't even try to work. When you are apart and you find out how much easier it is not to support the extra person, and that extra person is showing little or no effort to help take care of the family it's hard to keep a marriage going. I would try telling him you see no future in your long distance marriage, and start the process of ending it.

Well I really wish that I could talk to you and hopefully change your mind about leaving your husband but you seem so set on it and regardless I could never truly persuade you as I am only a person on the internet. However, I would like to suggest to you to let him down easily, if you are not very fond of serious discussions or confrontations then writing a letter may be the best thing for you to do. Write a letter explaining that the two of you have different directions and you do not want to hold him back. That because of your financial situation you two can not take care of your son and the bills you have. That you are thus setting him free to go and explore and become who he wants to become. I am not sure what you would want to say about the custody or visitation with your son, but that would be of your own thing any way. I hope whatever you choose, all goes well for you. Good luck in this situation and have a wonderful day.