Terrible in-laws

I wouldn't do it either. I had to learn the hard way but I don't help anyone out with money anymore. I need to pay bills and live myself and if they can't control their own finances then maybe they should be consulting a financial advisor and cutting down on spending habbits. I tried to help a friend out once who lost his wallet and all his ID. He needed some money to get by and told me he'd write me a cheque for $1200 if I'd cash it for him. He said for doing that he'd give me $100. So I said fine. I cashed it for him right away as I have no hold on cheques or limit on my account. He was so greatful he gave me $100 and took me out to dinner. Next thing you know I get the cheque back in the mail saying it bounced and I was way overdrawn in my account. I was told I'd be fined unless I got my account back up past the minuses. I had to use my line of credit to replenish my account. I tried to tell my friend that his cheque bounced and he made up some excuse why i did and said he would get me a new one. He never did and disconnected his phone. I've never been able to get that money back from him and I'm not out $1200 that I have to pay back. Moral: even though she's family, she could still take advantage of you and never have any intention on paying you back. This is your money and you worked hard for it. She has no right asking you for your money. If she wants something then tell her to save for it because unfortunately good people like me and you will always get burned when we try to help people!

Oh yes i could understand your point.I had some friends that would just called me when they needed me and also we are willing to help if its really needed like as you mention food or gas and some emergency cases but like your sister in law its not necessity.Its a luxury.

I'm the poor in-law, but I would never ask for money unless it was an emergency and for my kids.

I used to have friends who I finally realized were only using me for money. They would hang out with me, so I suppose it's not the same as just calling for money but worse none the same. I'll admit that they didn't ask for money but when they didn't ask for money they made up for it by insulting me. I know I sound foolish for even keeping them as friends, but the insults were just "joking" I didn't get really insulted until I decided to end the friendship. I am glad that you didn't lend her the money but by the way you made it sound, it I believe she's always asking for money, even prior to this?

There is a saying,neither a borrower or a lender be,and that saying is a very true one.If my children want money desperately and its in my power to give it to them,as long as the sum is not huge then I will give it to them.The cost of borrowing money from a bank is huge,the interest is so high,and you have to be vert careful as there are so many loan sharks out there who are willing to give you some money to borrow and then you can never meet the repayments.

Here's one for you. It has all the makings of a tv soap opera. My husband and I have been maried for 12 years, his sister hates me - although I didn't know how much until I took her out for her 25th birthday - she got drunk and told me that she didn't want me with her brother and that I wasn't good enough. After this revelation, I still treated her and her family well. I didn't tell my husband for about 5 years. This was after she had my son thrown in jail, she separated from her husband and he moved in with us - then they got back together and the all lived with us (7 people in a 3 bedroom home and my eldest still in jail) they bough a trailer and moved it to our house, they never paid rent. When he won 3 grand at a casino on his birthday - we saw not a penny. My husband;s salary - under $12 an hour went to support 2 families. I had to go ack east to help my elderly parents when my father had a hip replaced and my sister-in-law had the nerve to buy my husband a lap-dance when he had to bring her something at the strip club she managed. She has all her frioends hit on him every chance they can - even in font of me. But I can't say boo about her because it causes a fight between my spouse and myself. So I just put up with it. Good thing e live an hour away and we don't see them except for holidays which is soooooo much fun I should be in a coma. How's THAT for dysfunctional?

i have heard about mores terrible tales about in-laws,so consider yourself lucky.atleast your husband sides with you.

I don't have that kind of money to lend out. My mother in law used to ask for to borrow money once in awhile I think the most was $100 she did always pay it back Eventually though. I would have told the sister in law no to if she overdrew her checking account she is not responsible with money and should not be lent money.

Well, NO is a perfectly acceptable answer. You also have to protect the finances of your own family. Not your probl;em she is not handling her fi\nances well? She's an adult and it sounds time to be firm and expect her to support her own self. NO is a great answer..if you never borrow and never lend, you will do MUCH better in life! She could use that same advice. (Why IS it after a sibling is all grown they still expect to be tied in to those to give them money?)

Wow! That's just nuts... she wanted someone else to buy her a boat? Come on! I'm lucky we're not in that situation... I don't get along at all with my in-laws... but that's a very long story, although quite entertaining. But we are the poorest of our family, and it used to be us borrowing from everyone else, and it ws always for bills or things like that, never for stupid things. Now we are better off and not borrowing from anyone anymore. We still get ourselves in trouble from time to time, but we just deal with it instead of running for help.

I think you're just really unlucky to be stuck with a crazy sister-in-law. In my family, in laws borrow money once in a while for investment purposes, but they do so discreetly. I'm really surprised that your sister in law wanted the money just to buy a boat! What does she need a boat for anyway? People nowadays just don't know how to prioritize!

My husband's son is like that. He lived with us for about six months, moved out with a lady, had a baby, got married. (in that order) He does not bring the child to see my husband, but if he needs a favor, or money the phone is ringing off of the hook. His wife had the nerve to ask my husband for money at their wedding. On their wedding day, his son called and said the $200.00 we were going to give him as a wedding gift, could he have it because they needed it to pay for things for their wedding. Who said we were going to give him $200.00. I told my husband NO, we will give him $100.00. We have not received a thank you card, a photo from the wedding, nothing. He lives beyond his means, and is always short. He thinks my husband owes him.

saying no, you need to be more responsible with your money and do what everyone else is doing and finance and stuff, is perfectly fine. And also, even though she's family she's also a toxic influence and staying away from people like that is something that should be practiced! it saves you the worry and trouble and if someone is lonely enough, they will change! I've seen happen before!

well, i used to have some in laws like that, but now its my kids that do it. a couple of them dont realise the wells run dry.

That really sounds awful. Yeah, in-laws can be quite difficult to handle at times. Mine is not really so troublesome but there are times when they simply rub me the wrong way. I know they probably think that same way with me too...

honeydew hi I dont have anyone like that in my family thank goodness but then they know we never have any extra money. you guys need to learn to just say no the first time so sis in law gets the message.

Don't we all have people like that in our families? Yep, I have family that will do that too, I have family that still owes me money even now. I've learned to never loan family money because you won't ever see it again. I have a sister that was out of a job one time so she borrowed money to pay some bills, actually she borrowed money from everybody and to this day she hasn't payed anyone back, and she has a good job now. That's the only time I hear from them too is if they need something.

Glad you complained and your husband listened. I wouldn't ever give her a penny for her lying. My daughter is a single Mom with 4 kids and she wouldn't ask for help if she was losing everything she had. We occasionally help her, although she never asks. I just feel she needs it and give it to her or the kids. But, if she asked, I'd know it was for bills or the kids.

Hi honeydew82174, That is just terrible how could anyone be such sponger and a user, I wouldn't bother with her anymore. I have a friend who used to be married to this guy and me and my husband and my friend her husband were best friends but when my friend divorce her huusband my husband stay friends with my friend ex as the years went by myfriend ex will call only when he wants my husbands' help about something or other,never comes to visit unless he wants something so one day when turn up at my door step I asked what he wanted, he said why ask me that? so I told him what ai thought he just said he wanted to visit us so that was fine until an hour later he ask my husband do his brother a favouur and I just laughed and he just looked at me and "did I say something funny"? There so many people like that around. Tamarafireheart.

That is ridiculous. Seriously. I don't really have anyone that asks for money a lot but my "best" friend only calls when she needs advice or she has a problem. Then when I try to get advice from her she could care less. She doesn't even listen. Its annoying when people only care about themselves. I have to say your case is way worse. And I certainly agree with you not giving her anymore money. I can't believe how selfish people are. I guess I am lucky to have a great sister in law. I'm really sorry to hear that yours tries to take advantage of you like that.