Does our spouse still see a different side than our children?

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i wonder how many men and women respond differently to their children when their spouse is present than when (s)he is not. i know me and my wife do, it is not a big secret between us. i'll explain; my wife gives less attention and affection to our children and tends to brush them off when they want to talk to her or tells them to get off of her when they show desire for her affection or want to get in her lap and cuddle. she is somewhat aware of it, she's not always this way, but she feels bad about it sometimes. I treat our children differently,too and am aware of it. with our girls, i tend to give in more to there puffy bottom lips, and with all four of our children i tend to be a little harder on them when she's not around. i forget how i deal with them successfully when she's there. i tend to scream and yell at them more and become frustrated with them more easily. i think one reason is that we don't have each other there to help us with the responsibilities and too, to remind and correct each other. when i see her being neglectful or quick to anger i will give her a look to remind her, and she will correct me at a later time when the kids aren't around.