what makes a good male partner? how do you know when its right?

Since you have children, you must see this man as a good father to your children or else you should forget about him! Your children come first. I say this from first-hand experience. I was in the same situation as you, at least as far as being a single mom of two goes. My husband was abusive, also. You may love him and he may love you, but he must be able to be a good father-figure for your children. He must be willing to commit himself to being a good "dad", starting all over again with two young children. He must also be able to provide for you and your children. What does he do for a living now? Is he working or just living off of the proceeds from selling his business? Try to picture your life with him 10 or 20 years from now. Can you see it? You should be able to have a good idea of what your life will be like with him. Also, since you say you've just met him, you really must give it some time. People can be quite different when you first meet them than what they actually are. Make sure you get to meet his ex-wife and children before commiting yourself to him. They can give you a much better idea of what he's like. Talk to his family, also. Get to know them. If I had done that before I married my first husband, I never would have married him!!! He was so nice, caring, gentle, blah blah blah. This was only a facade. Not long after we were married, his true colors came out and they were horrible! Be very cautious and watch for any 'signs' that he might be hiding something from you, like a bad temper. Don't make excuses for him like "He had a bad day at work and that's why he yelled at me." This is the best advice I can give you. Take your time and keep your eyes open! Think with your head and not your heart. Date him for at least a year. I married my first husband after knowing him for only about 2 months! I didn't really know him at all! Also, don't worry about what your mother thinks or says. My mother was pretty much the same way. Once I stopped listening to her, my life got better! Tell your mother that you appreciate her concern, but you need time and space to allow you to make up your own mind. Good luck to you. I wish you the best!

angepange dont let your mother decide anything for you .tell her to butt out. Is this man good to your kids, does he seem to care about them, this is number one on your list.there is nothing wrong with being a blue collar worker at all,just so he is good to you and your kids, if you love him go for it, and tell mom that you are grown up. trust your own instincts, not your moms.

It's very hard to know after a failed relationship if the next one is right for you. For me, it was 2 years before I even thought about dating another man. I would definitely take it slow though, you're still trying to find out who you are by yourself. You don't need the extra stress of figuring out who you are as another couple.

Your old enough to say no even if she's your mother. You make your own life,you make your own decisions right or wrong we learn from this. I think with your relationship just let it flow. It's not gonna be easy just to expect anything. Nothing is permanent. Just make the most of it I guess. Have a nice day!

I think it too early for you to engage again into another relationship, you've been in a hurting and your tendency is to look for somebody who will feel that you're important. Maybe you're just longing for a love and attention that you didn't get to your previous afair. For the mean time just take care of your kids, spend time with them and then after coping up with your previous afair then its time to give your self a chance to meet somebody again or if that guy is still there for you then i think he's really serious with you. for sure your kids is also affected to what happened to you and thier dad, dont let them feel that you dont care about them, if you move in with the other man with 3 kids it would be very hard for them to accept what is happening. Also seek GOD's assistance and HE will lead you the way.. Have a good day.