If you are a SAHM when will you return to work?

I worked until I was 8 1/2 months along with my oldest child. I did not return to the workforce until both of my kids were in school full time. Even then I only worked part time, because I wanted to be there when they left for school and be home when they got home from school. When my boys were in 6th and 3rd grades, I decided to go back to school myself, and became a full time student. I was able to set my college schedule up to where I was still there for my kids every morning and afternoon. I did find that once the kids were in school full time, I got bored very quickly. When your youngest starts 1st grade, you may decide to try to find something that allows you the flexibility to be there for your kids anytime you are needed. It's always nice to have the extra income. That is something to consider. Even if you did something part time that you could put back for special things you want to get.

I don't think you are selfish at all, happythoughts. It's not anybody else's business whether you work or stay at home - it's between you and your husband, and other members of your family have no right to give their opinions or criticise the decision you have both made. I stopped working when we had our first child - and apart from a couple of short stints working when we wished to buy a car and pay off our mortgage, I've been a stay at home mum the whole time. Like you, we have always been lucky enough to pay our bills and put food on the table - and neither my husband nor I wanted more than that. It's far better to be at home with your children if you can - and I feel really sorry for women who need to work and are shuffling their children backwards and forwards to childcare and then coming home from a hard day's work to prepare meals and still have to do all the usual housework. It must be very hard and exhausting for them, with very little time to enjoy their children and just have fun. If extra money is not needed, enjoy staying at home and good for you!

If both your kids are in school full time and you want to work PT, I would say go ahead. If you don't have to work, I wouldn't do it. Heck, I prefer being home but right now I have to get my butt back int he work place ASAP. I am hoping by next summer I can stay at home again, get pregnant, and be a SAHM for awhile. I, like you, HATE the idea of my son coming home to an empty house or having to go to aftercare. I am hoping I can get a 9-4 job

I don't think you are selfish and it is great for kids to come home to a smiling mom. There are however, some real facts that you have to consider. If anything happened to your husband would you have the means and up to date skills to provide for your family. Looking down the road towards your golden years in life will you and your husband have the means and ability to provide an income, will your husband get a pension, do you have a retirement savings plan. You should make your final decision after considering and discussing all this with your husband and a financial planner.

I think if you want to stay home and always be there for your kids that is great. I'm a stay at home mom of a 5, 3 and 1 year old. I've been home since the 3 year old was born because she had hip problems and I wanted to be home with her. Plus I've worked years in daycare and I have seen some questionable stuff. I would actually like to go back to work atleast part time because we need the extra money. But I don't want to put my kids into daycare and besides, by the time I would pay for daycare I wouldn't be bringing any extra money home anyways. It would be nice to get out of the house more though so i've started volunteering. I don't think you are being selfish because you are thinking of your kids not you.

happy thoughts its not selfish but practical as you would have to pay for child care if you did go out to work. when both of your kids are in school you might try some part time work that would leave you free to be home after school. the only thingabout being a sahm is that you dont get to talk to many adults in a day and that drove me crazy so I went back part time to work and besides we did needthe money. sometimes you have no choice in the matter and needs must be met.

I'm at a point where working outside of the home would not make sense. Yes, we will be sending on child off to kindergarten but I'll still have two more young ones at home...plus s/o works a crazy schedule and someone has to be around if our kindergartener needs to come home or has a problem at school. I couldn't make enough money at a traditional job to pay for child care even. I am looking into making serious income by working from home though. I have several leads I'm looking into at the moment. As for when I could work outside the home...I've had pressure put on me already about that but I don't care. Once everybody is in school (4 years from now) I think I will look into going back to school myself...I don't plan rushing to get a degree so by the time I actually obtain it and can have a "real career" all the kids will be older...some even grown... and I'll have the time for it. I don't think it's selfish to be a SAHM...what is selfish is dumping babies with a sitter as soon as your maternity leave is up just because you want to work (and that is not directed at moms who have to work).

How can wanting to stay home and do the hardest job be selfish? It isn't an easy job, it doesn't allow much "me" time, the work is constant, and sometimes it doesn't seem very rewarding, but it is a very important job, with lasting consequences. I was a stay-at-home mom until our 3rd child was about a year old, then I returned to school. The 2 oldest were in elementary school, so as soon as they were on the bus, I dropped the baby off at my grandmother's house and headed off to college. The 2 got off the bus at my grandmother's house, and my husband picked them up from there. (I had late classes 3 days a week.) I attended school for about a year and a half, then worked for a year and a half, until a family situation necessitated my leaving my job to be home with them again. After several years I was contemplating returning to work, but then became pregnant again. (It was a difficult pregnancy, leaving me on bedrest until it ended with a miscarriage, but it was followed several months later by a succeesful pregnancy, but I was sick the entire time.) I have been a stay-at-home ever since. Our youngest is now going into 2nd grade, and I am looking for a part time job, so that I can have adult interaction again, and so I can still be here to get him on the bus, especially on those delayed opening days.

I will most likely return to work when my husband is ready to retire. Hopefully someone will be willing to hire me at that time! I've been a SAHM for the past 11+ years and before this only worked for a short time before I became pregnant with my oldest. With the job that I had it was best for my baby if I quit, so that is what I did. I haven't had a paying job since. Some days I would like to get a paying job so I could help contribute to the household financially. But it just isn't a good time at the moment. I don't think you are being selfish. It would only be selfish if you were only thinking of yourself and obviously you are not. Just try your best to ignore these friends and family members. As cold as this may sound it really is none of their business.

I don't think it is selfish for you to stay home. I have felt that as well since many people think that you can't make it on a single income. Truth of that matter is that you can, but it often means sacrificing things in your budget. We have managed to live on one income since I got pregnant almost three years ago. It hasn't been easy and at one point we were living off of $800 a month with no governmental support. It only means that you have to work harder to save money and you have to find ways to have entertainment without spending a lot of money. Most people can't fathom making it work. I think that it is wonderful that you and your husband are going to do this. I think it is a lot better for the children to have a parent at home. It is also less stressful as a whole to have someone there to cook and clean since those things have to be done even if both of you work. I hate when people ask what it is you do for a living and then make you feel bad because you are a SAHM or a WAHM (I am writing online for money). Good Luck and don't stop being the person you are!

What ever you are doing is absolutely right. I have been SAHM for the past 7 years. Though I have my masters in Human Resources, and I kept getting job offers, I rejected all of them just to stay with my kids. I am very happy when they give me a hug after school saying that the lunch was good, or they have got first mark etc etc. As you say, even if they become teenagers, I prefer to be at home. But now I have got offers to work from home. So I do that, after tending the kids and husband. This way I am able to earn something for my home too.

If you don't need to then I don't see why you should have to go to work. I think it is better for parent to be home when their kids get home from school. I might get a mom job, like being a lunch lady or something like that where I will be off in the summers and when they have days off of school, and I will still be home for them when they get home from school, but I will still be helping out the family budget, even if my earnings just go towards saving extra college money or for saving for our retirement. I don't want my husband to have to worry about working in his 60's so the more we can save for retirment the better, and if my working a few hours a day can help him do that, then that is what I want to do, but I don't think I will go back to full time work as long as I have kids at home.

i am sort of half sahm, half something else. i go to university, so a few days a week i have to go to classes. then, some evenings a week, i work at a nursing home. but for the most part, i'm home with my children quite a bit.