My heartache is over...
By juliefaye
@juliefaye (1214)
Philippines
August 1, 2008 7:54am CST
I quit my job of 15 years last Dec 2006 because of office politics. I leave the office with heavy heart and never return since then. While I still conduct business with the company but with the branch near us, i don't have any intention to visit the head office as i don't want to see those people in our department and oh how I hate them. Earlier today, I have no choice but to go there to assist my client in getting his check and to guarantee that he will submit the necessary documents later.
There one of my office mate whom I don't want to see approached me as if nothing happened. We exchange "how are you's" and she tells me she missed me. When we are there talking in her cubicle, my former boss rang and she happened to be on the other floor and asks if it's true that I was there. She excitedly go upstairs and we hug and cried telling me she missed me -- for all you know, this boss of mine gave me so much heartache. She's the godmother of my daughter and how I planned to erase her name on the baptismal certificate.
Whew! i have a lighter feeling when i stepped out of the office. It really takes time to heal the wound and now for me to bury the past. At least I have put some period on my grudge and anger.
Have you experienced how wonderful it is to forgive?
6 people like this
13 responses
@neildc (17239)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
4 Aug 08
That's nice to hear that my friend. It really feels great to have reconcilled with our enemies, shall we say. I have on girl which was very close to me in the past. We are also office mates from the company I was, 9 years ago. And this girl is one that has a big part in my heart. I just don't know what really went wrong with us, we separated ways when I left the company. They say that she is still connected with the company but is somewhere in the southernmost part of the country. I even requested her to be in my friends list in one of the social networking site, but she still rejects me. I don't know, maybe someday, we'll meet again to say HI.
(red star 91 @ 1439)
(red star 91 @ 1439)2 people like this
@juliefaye (1214)
• Philippines
5 Aug 08
I wish you can sort things out so the two of you won't look back the past and can move on with your present life without leaving something undone.
1 person likes this
@maple_kisses (2156)
• Philippines
2 Aug 08
That's really nice... It feels good to free ourselves from the hatred that we felt towards our fellow. I am a very forgiving person. It's easy to forgive but it's not the same with forgetting. You see, I have so much pain bottled inside me already, I don't want to crowd my system with hatred. So I easily forgive others and that's wholeheartedly. But you see, forgetting is another thing. I'm not a computer. I cannot be formatted so that all files in my memory will be erased. Everything stays there -- all that happened, minus the hate. And yes, it feels wonderful to forgive.
God bless...
1 person likes this
@juliefaye (1214)
• Philippines
2 Aug 08
Wish that we are just a computer when it comes to the negative sides of our life so we can be easily formatted. Forgiveness frees us from the incredibly toxic, debilitating drain of holding a grudge. Yah! not easy to forget because we learned from it.
1 person likes this
@caribe (2465)
• United States
4 Aug 08
It is a great thing to be able to forgive those that have wronged you. It makes me feel so much lighter when I am able to forgive someone. When we forgive someone, we are actually doing ourselves a favor because the hurt and anger is damaging ourselves much more than the other person. The person we are angry with is going about their lives not caring about our feelings or even possibly unaware of our anger toward them. So we are hurting ourselves when we are carrying this around.
1 person likes this
@juliefaye (1214)
• Philippines
5 Aug 08
At first, I can't forgive them and I don't have the intention to do so. Maybe because the feeling is still fresh. Time heals all wounds and that is what happened to me. Yah! i think about that too... that I am the one who thinks of the grudge while they are soundly asleep and in this case, I am the loser.
1 person likes this
@shooie (4984)
• United States
5 Aug 08
I know the feeling all to well. I had a boss that was harder on me than anyone else. I couldn't understand why and when it was time for my evaluation he asked if I had any questions and so I asked why. He said he knew that no matter what he threw at me I could do it and expected more out of me than the rest. I told him thanks but he needs to think sometimes yes while some employees can handle this you run the risk of burn out. Sometimes it takes leaving like you did for them to see how much value youe were as a freind and an employee... Am glad you feel better about it.
@juliefaye (1214)
• Philippines
5 Aug 08
It's hard to have a boss like that, seems were always tip toeing. Sometimes, they tend to see the wrong against a hundred of good things we did. What I did is simply giving them the lesson that they now see my value after I left and I hope that they realize the harm they did to me.
1 person likes this
@lazeebee (5461)
• Malaysia
2 Aug 08
Hi Julie, I'm glad you have found peace. It's difficult carrying such a burden inside; it must be a relief to let go, and allow the past to be over.
Office politics is often nasty, and very exhausting on the mind and soul. Though I come from a small company, and am one of the top team, I feel the pressure of politicking and in-fighting! So to prevent myself from being consumed by the office 'heat', I'm planning for early retirement or at least, part-time.
SO whatever has happened is over. It's time to move forward. I wish you the best and take care!
1 person likes this
@juliefaye (1214)
• Philippines
3 Aug 08
Thank you lazeebee, i've been holding on with this grudge for more than a year and i can say that it's not healthy. Glad I found some peace today. Hope you can find yours. Office politics is like you're living in the jungle with all the wild animals beside you.
1 person likes this
@bfrye1988 (1)
• United States
2 Aug 08
I have experienced how wonderful it is to forgive and it truely is a wonderful feeling. My dad kicked me out about 2 years ago because I am gay and he along with my step mom decided that they were not accepting of that lifestyle even though not even 2 months before they had stated that they accepted me for me. I was then told on Christmas of 2007 that my step brother was being adopted by my dad as a replacement eldest son...that hurt like nothing I had ever experienced; and as hard as I tried to just blow it off and decide to hate him and turn my back on them forever...I couldn't because of how I was raised. I was raised to stand by family no matter what and I of course had and still do to an extent the unconditional love for my father. I recently within the last about 3 months have decided that I couldn't carry the weight of hatred on my heart anymore and I sent my dad and my step mom both apology letters as well as forgiveness letters and then I placed the letters in the mail, and since that day, I feel great like a weight has been lifted from my heart and body.
Bobby
@juliefaye (1214)
• Philippines
3 Aug 08
Dear Bobby,
What you did is extremely wonderful. Only few person can do that, thanks to the good values you still hold on even though it seems like the world turn their back on you. It's really wonderful that you freed yourself from hatred so that you can move on with your life. I wish you success and happiness and someday you can prove to them that your choice in life is what makes you happy and that they can be proud of you.
Cheers to you Bob!
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (160952)
• United States
1 Aug 08
I cannot think of a specific time, well, yes I can. A young lady tricked me into allowing her to live with me, then live in a rental I own, for nothing. Then she told lies about me and said I had cheated her. She went to another church for a great while, then nine years later, came back to our church, and I avoided her, I was mad that she was in MY SPACE, a place I felt safe and loved. She sought me out, apologized, and apologized to another that she had wronged. She even got up in public saying good things about me, and the weight washed away. I know she is still a troubled person, but her troubles are not trouble for me. I have it so much better in my life, I can feel sorry for her. Good morning to you, and thank you for helping me remember this time. By the way, because of some of her lies, I became friends with another person she wronged, and that person has turned out to be one of my inspirations.
1 person likes this
@juliefaye (1214)
• Philippines
2 Aug 08
It is true that things happen for a reason. In your case, the negativity that she has done becomes positive in the end. It gave us the true lesson in life at least now we know how to handle things like this.
1 person likes this
@checapricorn (16061)
• United States
1 Aug 08
Hi julie,
Good to know about that but still for me they ruin your career! Anyway, I believed also it happens with a reason!
I have met several people who hurt my feelings and when it is just light, we talked about it and resolved but I will not give the same trust!
I have a close friend whom I prefer not to talk until this time and even forever, I do forgive her but I rather forget her too!
1 person likes this
@juliefaye (1214)
• Philippines
2 Aug 08
You got it right, they ruin my career! But when I count it, it must be a blessing in disguise. I simply realized that a stay at home mom is another tough career for me and i love it even if it has no overtime pay.
I hope you too can see the positive effects of that grudge.
1 person likes this
@alpha7 (1910)
• France
2 Aug 08
What you're talking about happens to us everyday,either in Office or at home or even in Churches.Mine was in the Church,i felt like i shouldn't forgive the head pastor of that Church for what he had done to me,he was totally wrong,i could just smell some kind of jealosy,although he never came directly to approach me.Think about it,do you know how many people you had offended as well?
No, that is why you should forgive and let go.@juliefaye (1214)
• Philippines
2 Aug 08
Can't imagine it happens in church and with your pastor. Have you not lost faith in going to church afterwards? Some simply not go to church in order to avoid the person he's having a grudge.
1 person likes this
@alpha7 (1910)
• France
15 Aug 08
What do you do if even the Church is saying you should settle your problems outside the Church before you come,I can still remember the pastor that said this.There are some beasts covering up as pastors you know,although he was not talking to me but i think was a big error,so why is the Church when a pastor is saying that if you have problems you should not run into the Church for help!They have forgotten that we are the Church and not the buildings,when you check those pastors,you will notice that they have lots of things they are covering that they don't want to expose,so they are affrid of people coming into their buildings to worship.What a generation.
@izathewzia (5134)
• Philippines
2 Aug 08
Leaving the things dear to us is the hardest decisions we can make in our entire life. When I quitted my job few years ago I felt the same way,too. I loved my job so much that giving it up meant a lot to me. But I have to then because I want to focus on my very own family that I was begging to have then.
@juliefaye (1214)
• Philippines
2 Aug 08
Yah! that was the hardest decision i made in my entire life. But haven't regret it as my kids needs me more than my boss.
1 person likes this
@alori61 (344)
• United States
1 Aug 08
It must be a wonderful feeling to let go of past hurts. Usually by the time I build a grudge big enough to put a person out of my life they are gone for good. It takes a lot before I will go to the extreme of saying I am done but when I get there there is no way they are getting back in.
1 person likes this
@juliefaye (1214)
• Philippines
2 Aug 08
In the long run, it's not a question of whether they deserve to be forgiven. You're not forgiving them for their sake, you're doing it for yourself. For your own health and well-being.
2 people like this
@anex08 (868)
• Philippines
1 Aug 08
That's wonderful, we really feel great when we were able to forgive someone that had done us mistakes in the past. I also quit my beloved job because of office politics that I can no longer carry the weight, but from that time on I started to forgive them even if they do not ask for forgiveness.. It makes me feel so lighthearted..
Congrats and keep it going
1 person likes this
@juliefaye (1214)
• Philippines
1 Aug 08
Not that easy to forgive for me anex specially if one is not amenable to their mistakes. Time really heal wounds and we will realize it when we happen to encounter them again.
1 person likes this
@tamarafireheart (15384)
•
2 Aug 08
Hdello juliefaye,
Yes I have experienced that as well my eldest sister and I fell out sis year ago and one year my other was celebrating her sixthy birthday and invited the whole family round for he party and there I was talking to my niece and nephew when in comes my eldest sister, everyone thought we were going to go into another argument but we didn't instead we hugged each other and sat talking with tears in ours eyes and we made up, she even bought me a little present. Bless.
Tamarafireheart.
1 person likes this
@juliefaye (1214)
• Philippines
2 Aug 08
Good to hear that Tamara. Sometimes its easy to have a grudge to other people than to our own blood. Whether how we avoid them, there is really a point in our life that we cross our path because we have the same blood.
1 person likes this
