I have nothing in common with her..what would you say or do?
By ersmommy1
@ersmommy1 (12588)
United States
August 2, 2008 9:12am CST
My hubbys best friend has a new wife. The pair got married very quickly after the best friends divorce. Neither of us know her very well. And she isn't one to talk, as far as we can tell. They are coming for a visit today. She is bringing her 3 kids. I suppose I can concentrate on them. But I would like to include her,get to know her etc. I am just at a loss. I have tried to start conversations, they go no where. Any suggestions?
3 people like this
8 responses
@positiveminded1977 (7072)
• India
2 Aug 08
Why don't the conversations go anywhere? Why not find out what she is interested in and talk about that? Actually, I am not very good at talking to people. If they seem uninterested in me, I just leave them alone. It could also be that she is the quiet types and likes to be left alone.
Cheers and happy mylotting
2 people like this
@wilsongoddard (7291)
• United States
2 Aug 08
I would try breaking out some cards or a fun board game. That would take the emphasis off of conversation and get everyone to relax and have fun. Conversation generally just naturally flows if you are playing certain games.
@mtdewgurl74 (18151)
• United States
3 Aug 08
Well, all I can say is make her feel comfortable. I know that you want to know more about her but she might not feel so comfortable giving out alot of information about herself. Given time I am sure she will be gossiping with you like you were best friends. She seems to be holding her cards close to her chest she might be afraid you won't like her or judge her buy his other wife and how she was. As I said give her time to get to know you and she might open up a bit it might go slow..but a little is better then nothing.
1 person likes this
@ravinskye (8237)
• United States
2 Aug 08
If it's just that she is shy, then keep trying. My friend is dating this guy that is pretty quiet. At first I was a little put off by it but then I decided to make it work because he was dating my best friend. I just kept talking to him and asking questions about daily stuff to keep him talking. I've already noticed a difference in him he has seemed to be opening up more and talking on his own without me forcing it. My sister in law is hard to get to know too. Finally I just confronted her and asked her if she didnt like me. She said she did but she's just a hard person to be friends with. So it just takes some time to build a friendship
2 people like this
@moneyandgc (3428)
• United States
3 Aug 08
I get uncomfortable when meeting new people, especially other females...so I tend not to speak unless spoken to.
When I was younger some people thought I was snobby, but that wasn't it. Sometimes I am just shy until I get to know you.
One of my husband's best friends is getting married in September and moving into base housing right down the street from us.
We haven't met her yet but I am hoping for the best because I don't know anyone here and my husband and his friend have already made big plans to hang out a lot! They are very excited!
@bamakelly (5191)
• United States
2 Aug 08
I know the feeling of not having something in common with someone. It isn't always easy. I have had conversations I tried to start that end up going no where myself.
I would just try to welcome her and let her children feel welcome. Maybe you can take them out somewhere for a drive. Good Luck.
@tammytwo (4298)
• United States
3 Aug 08
That is a hard one. I also have a difficult time warming up people I don't know. I have noticed in the past few years that has gotten easier for me though. Perhaps this woman may feel because the man was recently divorced that his friends won't accept her. If she is a likeable person let her know you are willing to try. Perhaps you could start the visit by focusing on the kids and it will then lead her to open up to you. Moms always love it when they feel people are interested in their children.
@DaddyOfTheRose (2934)
• United States
4 Aug 08
I would suggest you not try to hard. Just let things happen. Hopefully, she will think it is important to make friends with her hubby's friends. That should take some pressure off of you. If not, let your hubby and his friend work out things. I hope this helps.