Money...

Good mornin my friend. (smiles) Thought you had gotten lost. (good to see ya)(grinz) I like to think that everybody who asks for a loan means to pay it back. However, if they were good at handling their money, they probably wouldn't need a loan. Then when they can't pay it back, they become embarrassed. They think of callin you but know they don't have a plausible reason for not paying you & fear you will ask why. So they move your call back & call someone who won't challenge them. The next day is the same...and so on. After a few days of that their brain automatically reacts to your name as a negative & refuses to even think about it. My line of thinkin when a friend asks for a loan. (1) Do they really need it? (2) Are they trust worthy or responsible? (3) Do I have the money ro give away? & (4) Do I want to lose them as a friend? You can call it a loan all you want when in reality you're probably just giving them the cash. So, if my answer to #3 is NO, I say I'm sorry I don't have the funds available right now...maybe later. Most can't wait til later & go on to the next person. If a bank won't give them a loan, it's a pretty good sign you shouldn't either. I know this doesn't fit every person needin a loan but it does fit most.

As the saying goes, never lend money to family or friends but I guess some of us have to learn the hard way. I had to learn the hard way with my oldest daughter and her husband and as of about a year ago they no longer have anything to do with us.

You know there's a saying that the fastest way to end a friendship is to borrow money from a friend. Especially if this involves a huge amount of money. I don't know what it is about money that tends to destroy special and sometimes, even solid relationships. Money can always come between you and before you know it, all the years of trust goes pfft... That's why I believe that if you're willing to lend people money you're either ready to let go of it (if they pay you back, good for you!) or be ready to see a drastic change in your relationship.

I make a vow that I never lend money full stop! Especially to friends, that is the easiest way to lose friends, even the most loyal of friends can suddenly become dubious when you lend them money, people fall out over money being lent, so it's just not worth it, the pain, the hassle and the aggravation of trying to get it back. The people who ask to borrow money are usually the ones who you never see again, those that don't ask are the genuine cases, as a rule of thumb. I think people think you are dumb and with time you will forget that you have given them any money, fools, fools fools LOL! If in doubt, plead poverty!

Ihave no idea why this happens..My dad used to tell me, " never loan money to friends/family...if you feel a need to loan money, loan it to perfect strangers in the form of a gift. That way you will never expect to be paid back and you will not lose a friend/family member." I never understood this little theory until I grew older and experienced the change in dynamics once money had changed hands with a friend. You are right...everything changes....I have since tried to limit any loans...and just give what I can without expecting payback...that way when and if they do pay me back, I am pleasantly surprised.

LOL--Gee you must be talking about my mother. My mother was forever "borrowing" money from people and kind of conveniently forgetting to pay back, and I don't mean just a few bucks...more like several thousand. Her "modus operadi" was to borrow al large sum of money from someone first time round, and then yes, pay them back. Then later borrow again from the same person and maybe make "token" payments at first and then nothing. To give an example. One time my mother borrowed $2,500 from one of our neighbors. At the time my mother had been just downsized, but she was to get her last savings incentive payment which were always sizable. So once the last savings incentive came in, she paid back the neighbor in full. Then not long after another financial "crisis" came along and she borrowed just about the same amount from the neighbor again...this time she didn't pay back, not even token payments. Understandable, the neighbor was just a "wee" bit ticked off..LOL..so the neighbor got my mother to do a lot of errands for her as sort of payment...but then my mother actually had the brass balls to keep borrowing money from the neighbor...I guess the neighbor was still fairly trusting of my mother to continue to loan money...eventually things came to a head and the neighbor told my mother off big time...telling her never to even step foot in her apt. again. I remember my mother coming back down from the neighbor's apt, and she said "I don't know why Pat was so nasty with me...she never wants to hear or see from me ever again." Like duh? I said, "Gee mom, you think it's from all the money you borrowed from Pat and never paid her back?" My mother looked at me like she didn't know what I was talking about....like think she actually developed amnesia that she even borrowed at all? Pat wasn't the only one...she had borrowed excessive amounts of money from two co-workers when she worked for a bank..and of course she "borrowed" from me. The wacky thing was, was that it wasn't like she suddenly disappeared from the face of the earth..she was in contact with these people (including me of course) everyday....she NEVER thought she had done anything wrong by borrowing money and then "forgetting" to pay back...but then my mother had a real "attitude" that in general society "owed" her...to the point that my mother for a time even used to shoplift food...when I asked her don't you feel guilty? She shook her head no. For awhile there I was expecting to get a call from 110th Precinct anyday saying they apprehended my mother for stealing Ah! Life was fun with mommie dearest. I think my mother's attitude really was that by ignoring the debts she owed people it would magically go away. If I borrow money, which is actually very rare and never borrow that much, certainly not or ever like my mother did...I make darn sure I pay back.

Most yes some no... All depends on the person... Alot of people don't care actually as long as they can get what they want from other people and take advantage of them.. Those kind of people to me aren't real friends.. Ignoring it isn't going to help that's for sure but in time you almost for get they owe you, but you do remember for the next time no to help them when they need it... That is just my oppion..

in my side i didnt lend anybody money yet, it is because i dont have money to lend. in my situation for example i booked a bunch of people or band and in every booking i can get for them i have a little amount of money to receive. when it is time to collect what is mine i can no longer contact them. this not only happen once but thrice and more. but in different people. i dont like to trust anymore but still i like helping people. the last time was a booked three persons who sings old songs they are a seranade band and the person i was talking to who was asking if i know a bunch of people who can sing seranades he promise me to give 1,000 pesos. after the booking i can no longer contact him. well that is only a thousand pesos, i know i need that for my children but what can i do, God is watching.

Yes it does suck when we lend money to someone and we can't get it back. It is funny how they tend to dissapear. I really don't lend out money to anyone, and I really don't have it to lend. I have lent out money sometimes to my kids, and I told them I would need it back in a week or two, as I take it out of my bill money and they know it, as for friends, no way, they don't understand this like family does. Plus if you don't pay me back "I will hunt You down"

I hate it when that happens. That happened to me a lot of times. Some really didn't pay me back. To think we are just concerned for them when they say that it's important, but after borrowing money it seems like they don't care about us at all. We also have our needs and we also need the money that we have worked hard for. It's really not fair for them to just forget about it. My sister keeps borrowing money from me. It's really not fair and I keep reminding her to pay up. Sometimes she would ask, what debt? And I'm really ready to kill her with that answer. Some people say I should just forget about it because she's my sister, that's what sisters are for, but I disagree. We have the same allowance and she spends all her money on useless stuff while I save mine so I could use it when I need to and want to. And here she goes borrowing my money because she has none left, and people tell me to forget about it because she's my sister?! That is so unfair! Anyway what I do now when someone borrows money from me is to charge them interest. The longer it is for them to pay-up, the more money they have to pay. That way, even if they act as if they forget it (and that I do), once I get the courage to ask them, they'll be in big trouble.

I experienced it a lot of times. And it hurts especially if the person told you that you will be paid. But I learned my lesson. I now know how to say no. Not to keep the money for myself but to teach people that when they did not pay they will surely cannot borrow again.

I guess they are shy or feel a bit uneasy that they asked for money. Or maybe, they don't have the money to pay yet and they are afraid that we might ask for it. For some, maybe they are hoping that we forget about it and that they would never have to pay for it.

sounds like you're too generous, i'd never lend money to someone i didn't know really well and trust unless it was a very small amount that ie a couple of pounds. i'm sure they do remember borrowing it from you, they are just hoping you will forget, either that or they see you as a soft touch and know they will get away with it.

Seriously some people are just ignorant... I mean, you're nice enough to lend them money and then they don't pay it back EVER!!! If I lend money out, I don't care if it takes a couple months to pay it back, or even make installments, but at least pay it back!!!

have you heard of out of sight out of mind, they figure if they hid on you you will forget about the debt or get tired of looking for them. There is also the other kind of person who want to fight with you if you bring it up that they owe you money, or the third kind that is always in your face saying you will get your money next, thursday, then the following sunday, then two weeks from sunday and it just is a bunch of excuses.

What is the reason for their request? If they want the money for food you can offer to buy them the food. Don't lend money to anyone unless you are willing to part with it. I only lend money to people that I know very well and know they will pay it back.

Fortunately I have not had this kind of friend before. But my husband met this case before. He lent money to his friend but later this one seemed to be "invisible" and he never showed up. I told my husband to forget it. It's not worth to lose the reputation because of money. I love China

Hello howard, *Laughs* It always happen! They are trying to avoid the 1 million dollar question, "When are you going to pay my money?" Since there is no way to pay your money, the best thing they could do is just disappearing from the earth. "I can't hear you!", "She is not at home!" (though she is the one who picks up the call), "Can you call back later. I am with a customer!" (and you can't get her after that - the line engaged all the time) - these are few responses that I get sometimes...

I must admit that I am also guilty of it but I also have friends who borrowed money from me and never heard any news from them after that. Well, I don't hide the people I owed for, it just that I don't have enough money yet to pay for him and I don't want to explain it to him over and over again. I pay my loan, it just that it is delayed. About my friends who owed me but never heard any news ever since, I just forget the loan if it is not that big amount. But if is a large sum of money, I still contact them through landline and emails.

I totally understand what you mean here. I think that it bothers some peopleto the point that they get embarassed that they can't pay it back as fast as they thought that they would be able to.... Which is still not nice. I feel that even if you owe them money and cannot pay it back. Arent you still their friend??? why did borrowing the money have such a impact? They now donot care about your well being?? I guess they really weren't a very good friend after all.. Psst: Are you offering to loan us money ...LOL