I denied your friend request

When I first started here, I accepted a few friend requests, just because it seemed the nice thing to do. I really do enjoy getting to know people through their writing, and I don't mind being friends with people who don't think exactly the way I do. But lately I have noticed that I am often disheartened by the values espoused by a few of these early friends. When you completely disagree with how we should treat our fellow human beings, what is the point of being friends? I have actually deleted a couple, and hope they were not offended by it. I hope they also have wondered about our being friends, and were glad to not have to do the deleting. Each to their own and all, but I agree, I want to see at least some common ground in my friends.

I don't think I've ever denied anyone requesting to be added; it'd be counter to every reason I add people in the first place. Even if I disagree with their views and think them a complete moron, they're another node in an increasingly large socialising network to dump links to my articles on. Oddly, no-one on my list meets the above description so far.

hmm.... The requesting person something in YOU that they liked and it does take a lot to ask someone to be a friend. Now they have been rejected, by someone they thought they could trust. You only thought of yourself in that instance and didnt care what the requesting person thought! WHY? I think they are all made up excuses and not validated by any means. Why can't you just accept and then send the person a message and ask them why? decide after that. Could it be that YOU have been hurt by every one that you let in your door and the reason why you don't want to share .... How can you say not be offended.. it hurts alot! The profile does not always reflect the individual, because they may not have fully added the profiles information. OR maybe they are just filling in information to be accepted. and if there is nothing there.. maybe there really is nothing there... I say, and would like to suggest to possibly - give the person a chance and this person may turn out to be your best friend! That is the beauty of the internet! And because of this, distance doesnt mean a thing! Would all of this be up for consideration? Just thoughts- I had when I saw this. Someone real sensitive would probably be devastated and quit! Good thought into the start of discuzzion!!

I would be horribly offended if I received a message like that in response to a friend request -- what a rude and an unpleasant way to reject someone. Of course, I generally don't send out friend requests myself so I wouldn't be on a receiving end of such a nastygram. If I ever were to reject someone, I certainly wouldn't want to rub their face in it that way. That message is essentially saying, "Well, I looked at your profile and you're not a substantive person so you're not good enough to be my myLot friend." Unfortunately, I think some people reject friend requests in order to feel better about themselves. I doubt it works for more than ten seconds; the hurt inflicted on the requester probably often lingers on for much longer than that. (I'm not talking about rejecting requests from spammers here.)

I think I've seen what you are saying and I don't think it's you that feels that way, you are trying to get opinions from others about it. If that's the way they feel, then so be it, but they're shooting themselves in the foot. I don't see friends here on myLot the same way I do on other social networking sites. I've written a couple of articles with tips about myLot, one of them being why you shouldn't deny friend requests, and you can find that info on my profile.

Not cool, so why are you here?.. I think that is such a rude thing to say, especially when YOU are here for pennies, or friendship.. you are obviously here for a reason. I have thoughts.. do you have any other then negativity?.. Do you hate your life?.. Wassup.... LOL!

You are a very principled person here-I would never let down any mortal who decides to be friends with me here-firstly i consider it alittle rude-dont you think you leave bad feelings on the other side, and that you probably leave the person with an ego deflation? It would have been better to simply approve and ignore him/her-you never know, perhaps over time, he/she could begin to show the kind of substance you associate with!

oh you seem extremely picky when it comes to accepting friends here on mylot. i accept everyone there's really no reason to deny them, unless they offended me or something..

I used to accept everyone who sent me a friend request but then I started getting spammed with pms of join my site so now I am more careful about who I accept as friends and who I don't. If all you start are join money making site discussins I will not accept you.

Well I am thinking that this is either something that has been said or thought from your point of view. Or, it is something that may have been said to you. But I read this and this is exactly what I think sometimes when I get requests and I just feel exactly the same.

i accept everyone who sends me a friends request, i collect them like a big game hunter collects animal heads on their wall. i know they're not REALLY my friend and i also know i have the option of turning their notify on or off, or in a worst case scenario deleting them. so if somebody for whatever reason went out of their way to request me as a friend.....why not? that said, i have met many people online that i consider true "internet" friends.

I'm forever denying people who send a friend request. I always check their age, their interests and some of the topics they have responded to or started. What amazes me is the number of young men, some as young as 19, that request to be my friend. Why??? I'm a middle aged grandmother of two, so I doubt we have anything in common! I really see no point in adding hundreds of "friends" who I'll never have any further contact with.

Have I denied any friends request so far? No. I just can't do it. It seemed like i refused someone and I could not do it. I don't want to hurt anybody's feelings. I may not like her or his discussions today, maybe I will like it the next day. No offense meant it's just my views on this matter. I responded to all my friends discussions as long that I have something to say. I'm hoping that someday I can have real friends here.

I guess to me it is sort of useless to ask opinions of only the people that are the same as you. Most likely you already know what their prospective responses will be. How safe and boring that seems to me. The interesting part of a place like this is to see all of the DIFFERANT points of veiws. Isn't it? Out of the divercity of others comes the unkown. If you already feel you know everything... well, stay inside your little box. Some people here just want to broaden their horizons. Sorry if THAT offends you.

In the past we've defended the faith together. I believe I first met you her on MyLot when we became heavy duty in vying for TerryZ's return with all of those people with the snoozing puppy avatars. I also believe that we have responded in quite a few of the same discussions together when others got treated unfairly. we rambled on as we tried to wade through the communication breakdown going on with myLot. We probably probably crashed through the houses of the holy together in several discussions, through Kashmir, & even gone in through the out door.

It's impossible to accept anybody and anybody if you want a friend list you can relate to and make quality responses too. That's why I have a pretty small friendlist and do not accept anybody. That way I can make sure that my mylot friends get the time and attention they deserve and need. It's nothing personal, it's a matter of quality over quantity.

I have said the same thing to myself about a few people who have made request for me. For the same reasons that you are listing. I honestly wondered how some of them even found my profile because we are obviously many light years apart.

Hi Cyn..I've noticed that i too get alot of people that aren't in the same discussions with me or interests will ask me to be there friend and at first i didn't deny anyone cause i didn't know if it showed on there side that they were denied by me..now i just deny/delete and am trying to only have friends that are whom i respond to..not to make it a contest of who has more.. Great Discussion!

Wow. This is tough. I would not know how to react to this. I think the person has no intent to hurt people... he or she is just being honest.. which is a good thing. However, the fact of friend request means that someone or somebody from a far away place is interested in knowing you more or can relate to you. Yes, you may not be able to relate to the other person, but I think it is a process. Friendship transcends through geographical distance. People are dynamic and highly mobile. Never miss an opportunity to share yourself to someone. I think it is a universal kindness. People may or may not agree with me. But I think I would never really turn people down if I am not negatively impacted by us being linked through myLot. I dont think about pennies to.. I just want to share. Add me if you wish... have a great day!

Where there is a positive,their should be equal negative too,,, then only that will be well balanced. if every one in the conversations have the same opinion and same thought, will it be meaningful. i don' think so, there will not be any questions,any objections and all.. it will get bored...! oh God...i cant.. so i will accept all the request.