I could use some advice or thoughts on this please...

Thank you Leenie. Luckily I'm still in the early exploring stage with this. But I have the funny feeling I'm gonna be moving. My guy and I have discussed several times before today that if money was no object we would go back north to be closer to family. Well money is still an object, but maybe an answer is still out there. We'll see.

Tess, After reading Shelly's and ellie's I see that your Step Father doesn't want to move with you. Well, again go with your heart. His choice should not keep you from making the right choice for you. Honey, we all have our limits. Take care of yourself. leenie

Hi Tess, I also meant to say earlier that I am sorry about the loss of your mum, that one must have been difficult to deal with, big hugs, you'll make the right decision I am sure. Ellie :D

Hi Ellie, Thanks for the reply. Unfortunately Stepdad wouldn't move with me. He's made his views on living with snow clear. LOL He doesn't have any really close friends here - he works too hard and too often to make any. Hmmmm not sure what I'll end up doing.

Okay....when it is all said and done there is really only one person that you need to respect and answer to. That is YOU! Ask yourself if no one were putting the pressure on you what would you do. We all go through this world once and it doesn't take that long. While we are here we need to be able to enjoy our life. No one else, no matter how much they love you, is going to look out for you the way you should look after yourself. Of course you promised your mother. Of course now you feel obligated. But consider this. Was your mother looking after your welfare when she made that request or was it her husband? Clearly she made you promise to look after him not for your sake but only for his. So what are you going to do with the rest of your life? If going north to your family will cause you more pain than it's worth then is that really the thing to do? While staying south may be better for your health will taking care of your step dad be fulfilling? Family's on both sides use guilt, even though they don't see it that way, not for your benefit but for theirs. Please ask yourself…..what do I really want for me. I knew a woman that was a teacher. She was raised to be very religious and very family oriented. In her 20's she had an opportunity to marry but her obligation to her family kept her from doing so. Her family objected to him so she gave him up. While she would never say it I could tell that was a big regret for her because she spent a major part of her life looking after one and then the other parent. Finally it came to a point where the only family left was a sister in which she did not get along well. She had many friends but in her 70’s she passed away alone. Her niece, my wife at that time, was the only family close and even she was not with her. You may have no desire to have a family I know not your case but please do not let your family dictate your life for you. When you get old and all the rest are gone all you may have left is your regrets. I do hope not. May the Lord be with you.

My stepdad and I have discussed him moving back to the midwest before - ALL of his family is up there. But he says he doesn't ever want to live in a snow area again. And really his kids drive him nuts so I think he wants to avoid that. So no, he wouldn't be willing to move with us. Nice idea though. Thanks for the reply. :)

No problem! This may be something that would work or something you are against but have you ever considered an assisted living facility? My great aunt lives in one and she actually enjoys it. The people there are very caring and I know that she has several visitors everyday so she's never lonely. I don't know if your step-dad would consider that or not.

I almost wish my real Dad hadn't made his offer. All day long I've been torn two different directions. I don't really know what his offer of "help" entails so it might not be something I can do anyway. Part of me loves the shore here. Its so peaceful and Mom loved it so. Oh, and I'd be moving to north central Missouri. :) Thanks for your reply Char.

Pray and meditate on your dad's offer. Follow your heart, because it's usually God whispering to you. I believe we make the best decisions when we let our hearts do the thinking for us. You will know what the right decision is when you feel it, even if it will be a hard one to make. Sorry about my earlier post giving advice about moving your stepdad with you. I am new here and didn't see the earlier postings about how he wants to stay in the south. Take care, and best of luck with whatever you do!

Hi, thanks for the kind thoughts. Stepdad won't move with me. So I have to decide if I can/want to move without him.

Good idea. Thanks for the input. :)

Thanks Hatley. Yea I have alot to think about before I decide. Glad I don't have to make a fast decision.

LOL The good thing would be if I really knew what was best for me. Three years ago I thought it was the warm Texas climate. Now I don't know. Thanks for the reply.

It's not always easy to know what is best for yourself. Ask your heart about it. Would you feel better being close to you "real" family? If so, thats where your heart will take you. Maybe it's time for you to put you first. Good luck with whichever path you choose to take.

StepDad won't move, so he would be here by himself if I move. I really don't know what I want to do. I guess I'm lucky I don't have to make a quick decision on it. I do miss the mid-west, but I also like the shore and watching the boats and birds out in the bay. Thanks for the reply... :)

LOL So many people are suggesting he move with me.... sure wish I'd thought to put in my original post that I already know he won't move! Thanks for the reply.

Thanks for the reply. Stepdad won't move, so I'd have to leave him here alone.

Stepdad won't move. But thanks for the reply. :)

Well hopefully something good comes out of it all.

Thank you for your response. :)

Yes, part of my initial decision to move south three years ago was because the cold is hard on me and my doctor suggested I move to a warmer climate. Stepdad won't move, so he would be here by himself if I did move. Not sure what I'm going to decide. Just glad I don't have to make a hasty choice. Thanks for your reply.

Thanks for the reply. :)

LOL Yea, it is rather hot down here isn't it? Stepdad won't move, he has said soin the past. Lots to consider here.

Thanks for your thoughts and reply. :)

A good answer. Thank you! :)