Whose job is it?

You're so right. I guess if it weren't such an important issue, it would be much simpler. Sadly, it seems that parents these days don't do much in terms of character education. Many are too busy with their jobs and their own lives. Many don't really know what to do. Too many, by far, just don't care. Then their kids act up and they yell at us teachers for not straightening them out better! We all hang in there, though, and take a great deal of joy in those who exhibit positive character!

I think it is the job of both parents and teachers, working together, and in that order. Now the main responsibility, mind you, lies with the parents. Mom and Dad, indeed, are a child's first teachers. And it is Mom and Dad who must teach, both by precept and by example. If you tell your child not to lie, for example, and they see you lying to Mr. or Ms. Bill Collector when they call, or telling the poor child to do so--that creates a conflict. That tells Junior that it is okay to lie one's way out of situations if it will protect oneself, or one's family. When I have children, I intend to teach them that lying's wrong. Period. If they are caught in a lie, woe will be to them! But in order to be effective in my disciplining of them, I must show that I am honest. I cannot preach telling the truth when I try to get out of paying my bills and lie to keep from doing so. I cannot cheat on my beautiful wife, and lie to cover it up. My wife and, worse yet, the kidlets, sooner or later, will find it out. If they see me lying and cheating to get my way in life--what's to keep them from cheating on that science test? What would keep them from filing frivolous or fraudulent tax returns when they grow up? Kids need to be taught that right is right, wrong is wrong, period. Then the correct behaviours need to be appropriately modeled by the adults in the house at all times.

I think it is the job of both parents and teachers, working together, and in that order. Now the main responsibility, mind you, lies with the parents. Mom and Dad, indeed, are a child's first teachers. And it is Mom and Dad who must teach, both by precept and by example. If you tell your child not to lie, for example, and they see you lying to Mr. or Ms. Bill Collector when they call, or telling the poor child to do so--that creates a conflict. That tells Junior that it is okay to lie one's way out of situations if it will protect oneself, or one's family. When I have children, I intend to teach them that lying's wrong. Period. If they are caught in a lie, woe will be to them! But in order to be effective in my disciplining of them, I must show that I am honest. I cannot preach telling the truth when I try to get out of paying my bills and lie to keep from doing so. I cannot cheat on my beautiful wife, and lie to cover it up. My wife and, worse yet, the kidlets, sooner or later, will find it out. If they see me lying and cheating to get my way in life--what's to keep them from cheating on that science test? What would keep them from filing frivolous or fraudulent tax returns when they grow up? Kids need to be taught that right is right, wrong is wrong, period. Then the correct behaviours need to be appropriately modeled by the adults in the house at all times. Teachers can be helpful with this, too. It is the teachers' and the school district's job to build on the foundation that the parents lay down. As a substitute teacher, my kids get in more in trouble with me if they lie about a thing than actually not having done it. If you tell me you did your homework for today, and I ask you to let me see it--and it turns out you lied--I will impose worse sanctions on you for lying than for the original offense. The regular teacher will have a note left to him or her about that student who lied to me, the substitute. As a parent, my child will get a worse spanking from me for having lied about something than if they had been truthful. So we wil have better kids if parents and teachers both work together, and are on the same page. I believe that requires communication between school and home.

Misbehavior happens occasionally, and we just deal with it. The problem is to decide upon a student's basic moral guidelines, and it's hard to avoid being wrong when we have so many cultures represented in each class. Thanks for the response.

There are only a few bad actors, and they are inevitably the ones whose parents don't cooperate with the school. I know what you mean aboutthat fine line in their attitudes toward us. I have to remind some of them I'm not their teen friend, I'm their old lady teacher, because they become presumptuous. I love 'em anyway!

I, too, love teaching. For the same reasons you point out, most of my students are respectful and well-behaved. There are some, however, who take bad attitudes with everyone, and when they're sent to the office, there are o consequenses, so they don't straighten out. Those few spoil it for everyone.

Our rules sometimes conflict with one another, which makes these things more difficult than they need to be. We have to be very careful about not stepping on anyone's toes, and what's right in one culture may be wrong in another. We're supposed to honor their differences while getting them to be some sort of android and all act alike. It's not easy, and without strong teachings in the home, it's really hard!

Certainly this is a bit odd, but I'm so glad to hear it's not just in USA. That doesn't make it better, just not quite as awful! I'm often reminded that I'm getting closer all the time to retirement, so I can hang in there, even when it's really a bad day. Still, most days are wonderful! I miss the old days when we could put a disruptive kid out of class, but that's not allowed anymore!

Sadly, the only punishment allowed now at (most?) Australian schools is giving a demerit. Seeing as students couldn't care less about this and it's no big threat, teachers are really left with no disciplinary tools these days. It's become very difficult, and there are many teachers my husband's age retiring shortly, leaving a huge demand for teachers. Teaching has become a pretty undesirable career choice here, even though the marks and qualifications required have been lowered significantly in order to attract candidates (in itself, a bad idea). I think our government is going to find itself in a bit of bother over the next few years.

That's why I'm concerned about this mandate that's being issued for us to include character education in our curricula. Miami is a huge multi-cultural place, and each culure has its own slant on character. How can I decide the character components when there are kids in my classes from more than a dozen different countries. Even those from very strict places, who would never dream of misbehaving in the school they came from pick up the slacker attitude and the say-what-you-want, no matter who might think it's good or bad atitude in a heartbeat! I wish the parents would take more responsibility with raising their children! I teach high school seniors, so many of the parents tell me their kids are too old to have to listen to parents! I'm always shocked by that, no matter how many times it happens. Thanks for the response!

I teach high school seniors, but they're not too old to learn to improve. They pass what they learn along to younger siblings and friends. If we can inculcate the best, we can get back to the days of far better character. I hope, so, anyway. Still, we're a very diverse community, and I hate to step on someone's toes because I don't know much about their culture. Thanks for the response.