Why did you request me?
By cyntrow
@cyntrow (8523)
United States
August 4, 2008 10:31pm CST
I posted a discussion about denying friend requests and I was intrigued and somewhat amused by some of the angry responses I got. I decided to turn it around a bit and see if the replies turn out differently.
here goes:
When I see someone that seems to be replying to many of the same discussions tht I do, I will request them. No, we do not have to agree. Sometimes, a person that I have a great time differing with is a person I go out of my way to request.
On the other hand, I am often requested by people who have never replied to a discussion that I have replied to. They have never replied to one of my discussions. Their discussions are not something I would reply to(I tend to post to deep and potentially controversial topics.) I wonder why they are requesting me and how they got my screen name in the first place. I'm not keen on being collected.
So I want to ask. Why did you request me? Do you expect me to accept? What good does it do, if I will never reply to your discussions? Does compatibility come into play at all? Do you even care to know me before sending out the request?
That it. Go at it.
4 people like this
12 responses
@twallace (2675)
• United States
6 Aug 08
I remember that discussion and I'm not sure if I commented to it or not. But most of the time I have had request and just about all of them I have accepted. I guess that what I may have said was good enough for them to consider me as a friend. I know that I have commented to this discussion of yours and I don't expect you to send me a friend request. But if you have a discussion that I like and have something to add to it I will comment. I'm not here to judge what your doing just to give a voice.
1 person likes this
@cyntrow (8523)
• United States
6 Aug 08
I remember you from a number of discussions. For some reason, I thought we were already friends. I don't care if someone agrees with me or not. I want to be challenged. I want to keep my brain alive. that's why I am here. I did request you. You can accept or not. Your choice either way.
1 person likes this
@twallace (2675)
• United States
6 Aug 08
Your right about the cost cutting and I didn't think of it that way. Some people just wouldn't work in a meat factory. There are things that you see that no one else would even think that happen in those factories. Then if they get hurt they really have nothing that can help them for not being a citizen of the country. I know that if they are doing that, you can be sure there are other companies that are doing the same thing.
@mmiller26 (1930)
• Canada
5 Aug 08
I think sometimes people request to be a friend simply because they liked what you had to say and want to see more from you. That's the only reason I can think of to request from someone I've never had contact with before. There are people whose discussions I've read who just really impressed me, so I've requested friendship. Of course, then I don't turn discussions on so I never read what they have to say. lol. But that's a whole other story.
1 person likes this
@Stiletto (4579)
•
5 Aug 08
I guess I feel pretty much the same as you do about this issue. I refuse far more friends requests than I accept because most of them are from people that I don't think I will have anything in common with or that I will have anything to contribute to any of their discussions. I often wonder why they ask me, but I think a lot of them just pick people at random. I know a lot of people just accept all friends requests but personally I don't see the point in collecting friends in that way. What's the point in having hundreds of friends if you have nothing to say to most of them?
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
5 Aug 08
You should be delighted that someone pick you as a friend among the 138,728 mylot members. Compatibility is out of the question here as we are not talking about union but a friendship only in mylot. You are being chosen maybe because you are a popular figure here but unfortunately you don't give other members hope to be in your elite group.
@cyntrow (8523)
• United States
5 Aug 08
I disagree. I feel that I am being "chosen" because people have been told to add as many people as possible and you will make more money. I don't want to be part of someone's collection. If I am added as a friend, I want to know that it is because of my discussions or responses and that I have something of interest to say. Not because I am a name on a list.
@Jenaisle (14078)
• Philippines
5 Aug 08
You have raised some salient points there but someone may have requested you to be his friend because he is fascinated by your answers even if you don't have the same interests. Friendship doesn't necessarily mean you should be thinking alike. In fact the propensity of being drawn to another person might be the difference in interests. "Opposite poles attract each other" (science). Lasting friendships sometimes are found between two persons who are exactly the opposite of each other. This is a community where everyone should be reaching out to anyone. That's why we are all called "Mylotters".
1 person likes this
@cyntrow (8523)
• United States
6 Aug 08
If they enjoy my discussions or responses, they would have replied. I've seen your name on my discussions several times or in similar discussions. I'm cool with a "friendship" with you.
My problem is that I feel that I am being collected. People who don't care a thing about who I am as a person put me on their friend's list because I am on the front page and they think they can make more money if I am on their list. I don't want to be used. I am here for intelligent conversation with people who share a like mind or respectful differences. I'm here to keep my brain alive. That's all I ask.
@fahadfaiz (31)
•
5 Aug 08
well i disagree. i always care for people who choose me as a friend.you should always care about them. and this community makes alot of good friends. i just joined this community and i already got some good friends.
1 person likes this
@Cajunhellcat (2073)
• United States
10 Aug 08
I did not respond to it but I requested ya cause ya did me first
@fpd1955 (2074)
• United States
6 Aug 08
Well, cyn, I think I requested you and you accepted. I requested you because you champion GLBT rights and we need all the champions we can get! While I don't always, actually hardly ever, join your discussions regarding religion, particularly The Bible, I do read them and most of the responses. I have learned alot from you in that regard. I am not truly qualified to join a discussion about The Bible, as I haven't read one since my Catholic Grade School days. You did get me to dust off a copy of one, but I just couldn't read too much of it. Sometimes people respond with things, based on what they read in The Bible, that I know in my heart aren't really true. If I get passionate enough about what they said I will respond.
Yours are the first discussions I look for when I sign on. I am looking for that substance in your discussions. I am rarely dissappointed.
In my humble opinion, you are one of the best people in myLot. I am very happy you are my friend and want to thank you for all your comments and reasoning regarding GLBT rights and GLBT persons. You are not just friendly to us...YOU GET US!!!
PEACE
@tuayon_san (299)
• Philippines
6 Aug 08
If someboday send for friends request to be added in their list
I never deny them in stead accept. Coz thats the basic way to
earned more points.
But the problem is there not replying with our discussion may be becoz the
do not like with our discussion or they doesn't feel to.
@sirnose (2436)
• United States
5 Aug 08
I have 9 request pending some are from members who I responded to when they posted a discussion thoses are the ones who I will usually grant a friend request for the others I just let their request sits I never deny them because I think that it is rude to do so,I think its better to either let them sit there or approve their request and in a later time if they turn out to be non-productive or a pest then they can be deleted.
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
6 Aug 08
dont worry cyntrow I did not request you and from the sour
grapes tone of this I would not want to be your friend if you begged me. you want to know only those few people who think like
you think and you sure would not want an old lady like me,81, we would as you say,have nothing in common.I like intelligent discussions that dont bash people you like elite ones that do,I have replied to some of your discussions too but I do not want
to be your friend. I happen to feel sorry for alot of newcomers who can not get anyone to accept so I will but I refuse anyone who has a zillion friends and zero posts as there is something wrong there. I have friends in their 20,30, 40, 50, and so what? we are all human beings and have a lot of the same problems.
So go ahead taylor your list of friends to your exact descriptions and I am sure a lot of people will not want to
be your friend after this discussion.
@cyntrow (8523)
• United States
8 Aug 08
OK, I wont' resist. You don't get it. It's not because you are older than I. It's because you don't get me. That's cool and I'm far from caring. No, that's not true. I do care, because you have been someone that I feel has a great mind and a great heart.
Here is what you don't understand. People come to this site after getting a referral from their friends. They are told that to make the most money, they must aquire as many "friends" as possible. Fine. I don't like the idea of being collected like a stamp book or a seashell on the beach. If a person doesn't know me or doesn't care about what I have to say, it is insulting to be requested. Secondly, I have experienced, first hand, some of the newbies copying my discussions to get more money.
So, I am suspicious. If you have no interest in what I have to say, ie, we have no similar discussions or replies, I will deny. If there is a question, I hold until I see more.
You might think that everyone has great intentions. You're wrong.
@edgyk8inmomma (2157)
• United States
5 Aug 08
Hey Cyn,
I requested you back when I first joined...I think...maybe you requested me??? Anywho...We enjoyed some good debating, sometimes we see eye to eye, others we agree to disagree, and then there's the rare ocassion where one will open the others eyes to a knew way to look at something. I enjoy this type of "relationship" here. I enjoy many of your discussions....even when I don't respond.
So...as far as your rant...I am totally with ya. Why? Why should I accept, I've never met the person, or been involved in the same discussion, have no similar friends, and no compatible discussions. What would there friendship benefit me?
And I never knew having more friends makes more money??when did that start??lol
@cyntrow (8523)
• United States
6 Aug 08
Whether I requested or you requested, we were crossing paths and it was a natural occurance. That's the way it should be, in my opinion. And yes, I more than agree. The relationship that I have with you and people like you is the most invigorating. It's the reason I am here to begin with.
