Alarming reaction of my daughter
By cdparazo
@cdparazo (5765)
Philippines
August 4, 2008 11:57pm CST
I went to our head office and while I was there, my boss mentioned about me transferring at our head office to work. Needless to say, it would mean significant adjustment in my salary plus other perks that as a single parent struggling to make ends meet, seem to be attractive. Though after thinking about it, I decided not to pursue it because there is just no salary increase that could compensate me of not being with my daughters. However, I got to mention such thing to my 6-year old daughter. She asked me if I would live there and how often can I get home. I answered her as truthfully as I can and then after some silent moments, she told me that she would just have herself run over by trucks if i decide to work in manila. HUH???!!! I find such reaction from a 6-year old very alarming that she thought of killing herself . She also added that if not by truck, she would sneak behind me and hold on to the airplane on my way to Manila and then she would just let loose of her hold on the plane so that she would fall to her death. How graphic! I was really disconcerted. Last night i mentioned again, that I have to travel for a week and she immediately threw tantrums. I know its her way of expressing that she doesn't want me to go and I explained to her that it is part of my work and I have to do it so that we will have food, house, clothing and so that she could go to school and I could buy her toys. But it just doesn't seem to get through her and she even answered that its okey if we won't have plenty to eat and if she can't go to school. Hu hu hu! I am at a loss of words for now on how I could get through my daughter and just let her understand.
2 people like this
6 responses
@faith210 (11224)
• Philippines
6 Aug 08
Hi cdparazo! Oh my, I do understand your dilemna now. I would not even know how to react if I will be in the same situation dear. I guess, you could just ask your supervisor or your boss to not transfer you anymore at all since being the only parent that your daughters have, the more they need you completely. I just hope that you will be able to resolve this with your boss because if i am in your shoes, I will also be in complete agreement with what you have just mentioned in your discussion, "Though after thinking about it, I decided not to pursue it because there is just no salary increase that could compensate me of not being with my daughters." Good luck and I hope things will go your way dear.
Take care always..God Bless!
2 people like this
@cdparazo (5765)
• Philippines
13 Aug 08
My boss is okey with my refusal. Thank God that I did manage to let my daughter understand that i have to travel. She just needs constant reassurance that I will never leave them and that I will return home to them as soon as I can. God bless to you too!
1 person likes this
@kriazenterprises (139)
• Pakistan
5 Aug 08
if you have to re-locate for your job then why not take your daughter along with you. Its so foolish to leave her. opurtunities don'k always knock again and again. How ever you need a better job for her future also as you said you are a single parent that means that you are the only source of earning.
2 people like this
@cdparazo (5765)
• Philippines
13 Aug 08
I don't really think that it would be good for my daughter to live in such a big city. There is also a question of safety and sense of stability of her. I come from a very big clan and we live right now at the bosom of that clan where she gets to play and interact everyday with her cousins, aunts, uncles and several grandparents. I don't want to remove my daughters from such strong support system. As to the earnings, it would be indeed a big opportunity for me but I believe that opportunity doesn't only knock once but again and again. thanks for responding!
1 person likes this
@cdparazo (5765)
• Philippines
13 Aug 08
I don't want to uproot my children since we have a very strong support system in the province being at the bosom of my clan/family. Children need that kind of stability to grow up more secure. The opportunity is very good but i believe that it doesn't only knock once but again and again. I am okey for now though its hard but still okey. I don't think that my children would be happy their in the big city being away from what is familiar and from all their cousins, aunts and grandparents.
@Ohara_1983 (4117)
• Kuwait
5 Aug 08
wow! how smart your daughter & she now how to express her feeling, that she will be not comportable is you are far from her. she need you cdparazo, she want you in her side, even me i cannot say any world specially came from your daughter those word. maybe later she will be understand but i know you cannot travel, and if you will travel you keep on thingking the word that she said.
your so lucky that your angel understand your situation & nobody can change her love to you.
GOd Bless
2 people like this
@cdparazo (5765)
• Philippines
13 Aug 08
I worked on my daughter for the past week to let her understand that i really need to travel because of my work. I also assured her that I would never leave them behind no matter what. I think she is okey already with all those assurances. God bless you too!
@vanities (11395)
• Davao, Philippines
6 Aug 08
well kids now a days are smarter than we think..isnt it? and i guess it needs a lot of explaining to make her listen to you and do such nonsense things...maybe she gain it from watching telenovelas or whatever..or maybe its her own way of telling you that she loves you and scared that you will not comeback..or whatever..
2 people like this
@kamran12 (5526)
• Pakistan
13 Aug 08
Hello cdparazo:-)
It's been long that I have been to site. It's so good to see you:-)
As to your daughter, I can only say that I get surprised by children of today. Just 10 years ago, they weren't as sharp as they are now let alone in our own time. I can only hope that she understands because I really don't have a solution for you. Maybe with time, she will understand. One thing is for sure though, she is strongly attached to you, so maybe if she develops strong friendships, it won't be a big problem!
1 person likes this
@jands1 (835)
• United States
5 Aug 08
So long as your daughter has structure and routine in her life, this should not be an issue.
Kids are smart. Just sit down with her and explain that you are going to have a very adult conversation with her (that will get her attention). Explain everything in a at her level of understanding.
You explained to her the situation via bribes, "...buy her toys." While this may be a good short term solution, the fact that you explain and show her that you are her Mother, love her and will always be there for her, she will, in the end, adjust.
Children are amazingly resilient. I saw, and still see, a lot of resilience, joy and laughter with my own son and the younger kids I deal with here in New Orleans that went through Hurricane Katrina.
@cdparazo (5765)
• Philippines
13 Aug 08
Thank God that she finally understand after so many talks and assurances. Though I finally decided not to grab the opportunity, but I still need to travel. Kids are indeed resilient and when I got down to letting her understand, she did understand. Amazing! I hope that the children are okey now there in New Orleans after Katrina. I can't even begin to imagine what they have gone through.
