Best Method To Bring Up A Child?

Yes the Bible say that to spare the rod is to spoil the child. It also says that a fool hates discipline. I don't know about your children, they may actually be the exception to the rule, but I have never met a child who has the ability to reason. As they become young adults this becomes a reality but children can only reason according to their knowledge. It is not our job as a parent to try to reason with them. Here is an example: My child wants to play in the street. I tell them no. They ask "Why?" I can choose to try to reason with them and depending on how old they are they may or may not understand. So I say "Because if you do you may get hurt". That sounds reasonable, right? To us yes. To a child who only understands that I want what I want. To them the phrase "You may get hurt" could be interpretted as "The feeling I get when I get a splinter" So they go ahead and play in the street. Now you can go and try to reason with them again or you can go out of love toward them and discipline them so that they can know what to expect the next time.

I believe you need a combination of both. The Bible can be interpreted in many ways, and without trying to start a whole other discussion on theology, I will say that another way to interpret the phrase "spare the rod spoil the child" would be the exact opposite, in that you should not use the rod as much, and you should spoil the child with love and affection more. I have a twenty-month old son, so reasoning at this point is not much of an option, but when I make him stop doing things I always tell him why, even when I have to resort to a little smack on the hand or thigh. However, there are times when I don't give a reason for spanking him, and that is when it is in response to him hitting or kicking me when I change his diaper. Yes, he cries at first, but then he sticks his thumb in his mouth and lies there quietly while I finish. Another example of using both reason and corporal punishment is when he touches or picks something up I do not want him to touch, like if he tries to play with the computer (he is too young for me to teach him the difference between the keys and which ones he should and shouldn't press), first, I tell him calmly to stop touching it. If he continues, ignoring me in the process, I tell him more firmly not to touch it. Usually, I only have to tell him once, but if he is in a particularly obstinate mood and continues to touch it after the second time of me telling him to stop, I smack his hand and pull him away from the computer, giving him something else more age appropriate to play with. This brings me to another form of discipline: distraction. If you don't want your child doing one thing, show him something else that he can do. This is a method my son's daycare/preschool uses. It may not always work, of course, depending on the stubbornness of your child. I would like to add, also, that I was only spanked once in my life. I don't even remember it. My mother told me that she spanked me when I was three and felt so bad about it that she never did it again. I remember being placed in the corner. I also remember that one time my mother locked herself in her room, while I screamed outside of it trying to get her to come out. I am not telling you this as a way to show you some examples of what you should do, but I will say that, although I have made mistakes in my life, I feel like I've turned out to be a decent human being. I always made fairly good grades in school, and now I am married with a son and a job with benefits that I enjoy very much. Of course every child is different, and some need more discipline than others, but I definitely feel like there is a happy medium. A friend of mine told me that she was spanking her son for doing something, and he laughed at her, and when she continued to spank him, he just kept laughing. I felt like telling her that maybe she should try something else, but she did not ask, and I don't feel like it was my place to tell her how to raise her child. If she had asked my opinion of course, like you are asking right now, I would have certainly told her. Whichever form of discipline you choose should have to depend on what the circumstances are surrounding the need and what kind of personality your child has. I hope any of this made sense to you.

Yes. He would become more disciplined and responsible. Often times they become possessive-compulsive in which they set certainty on things based on the imposed discipline from his childhood. To put things in balance, don't forget to pay a little attention on the social growth of your child so he won't develop an anti social attitude. Proper guidance is a must because it's a fact that children's characters varies.