Are you co-dependent? Check this out to find out if you are one.
By seastereve
@seastereve (117)
Malaysia
August 7, 2008 9:41am CST
Co-dependency is a disorder characterized by living to take care of someone else ignoring your personal values and rights and by attempting to control others. Codependent people gain their self-confidence from the feeling of being needed by others and that's why their main focus is to let others need them. The codependent partner will alwasy be struggling with fear of rejection and fear of abandonment and this prevent him/her from having a healthy relationship.
Do you have this disorder? Or people you know (partner or friends) having this problem?
2 responses
@intimate36 (1415)
• Pakistan
7 Aug 08
really can't say...to some extend I feel , i have this problem..not sure.
Just came in my mind..after reading this.
please do a favor, can you explain me some more symptoms with few incidents or examples?
@edgyk8inmomma (2157)
• United States
7 Aug 08
Basically this means that your inner happiness depends on the people around you level of happiness, and how much you are involved or influenced that happiness.
Example...you have very needy friends who allways depend on you and come to you first. Everyone around you knows they can count on you to help them out or pick them up and brush them off when they fall. Don't confuse this with being a helpful friend or a caring person. This person CAN say no...a co-dependant person is riddled with guilt if they say no, and this only happens on a rare occassion.
Another example...When someone close to you is down in the dumps you take it personally, like you caused them their pain, even if you KNOW you didn't you still fell guilty because you didn't prevent it or do something to make them feel better.
A co-dependant person is almost always feeling guilty.
They almost never feel adequate enough for the people around them.
They rarely feel like they have done enough...even when they extend their resources and them some.
They are constantly worried that the people they love don't really love them back.
They worry that they are going to screw up another relationship.
They probably have a ton of burnt bridges and broken relationships in their past that they can't explain.
Oh...there's a ton more. Do you need me to keep going, or do you have the idea??
1 person likes this
@intimate36 (1415)
• Pakistan
7 Aug 08
You have explained it very well.. and thanks GOD... I can say no , when i want to...
Yes I am a helpful person...but at times I can say no...And i have never feared loosing relationships...
@edgyk8inmomma (2157)
• United States
7 Aug 08
Yup. I will be the first to admit that I struggle with this issue. It has caused me a lot of trouble and worry throughout my life. I have taken classes and gone to support groups to help me learn to curb this...but it is a constant battle...almost like an addiction.
@seastereve (117)
• Malaysia
7 Aug 08
hey edgyk8inmomma, thanks for sharing. Hope you go through it well and be strong. God bless!
