Do you think it's okay to steal from your own kids?

Thanks! I agree completely. I really have no idea why people can justify doing anything other than putting it aside for their kids or giving it to their kids.

with my oldest she likes to spend it but i don't let her go nuts and spend it on stupid stuff. i get her to make sure that that is what she wants. like when grandpa (my dad whos down east) sent her $50 for her birthday in june she ended up getting webkinz. she picked out 3 of them (ihad to add 85 cents for her to get all 3) but thats something she had really wanted. she has them displayed in her bedroom and she plays on the website for them all the time. and its a safe website, (we checked it out) for her to play on, last month she sent her allowance on another one. when it comes to my son hes only 3 and don't really understand money stuff yet so when he got money for his birthday in may we went and helped him pick out some presents. but when he finds change he takes it and hoards it.

This is awful! I want people who do things like this to pay for it! In my oh so humble opinion, she owes you a LOT of money! I mean it wasn't your fault that she couldn't manage her finances! Good for you getting a new account without her, whatever that she was ticked. She didn't have a right to that money, she never did. Do your kids set aside any money to save or do they spend most of it? LOL! Like I've said before, borrowing (with the kids knowledge) is okay, but not taking and never returning money.

What a horrible story! I am so sorry to hear what happened with your mom. I am glad you opened another account and now can handle your own money!!! Bravo!

I do not see borrowing as a big deal as long as you discuss it with your child or children first. Borrowing is also wrong if you do not ask and it was not agreed to before you took the money. That's like a teen daughter sneaking into mom's room and 'borrowing' her favorite jeans or shoes for a night out she wasn't supposed to go to anyway, then mom discovers the item(s) missing and daughter lies about the disappearance...

This is excellent! Are they going to use these savings for education or for moving out, cars, all three?

I respectfully have to say that kids are not your possessions either. People cannot be possessions. I never did belong to my parents, neither do my children belong to me. I am their mother but everything that belongs to them does not 'by default' belong to me because they are my kids. Does that make more sense? I do want my kids to save some of their money, but it is still theirs. I might prefer my daughter saves some of her allowance when she begins to get one, but that doesn't mean I will take her money if she doesn't save it. If she 'borrows' from me for something she didn't have enough for, or she had enough but her money was at home, then she could just pay me when she had the money - but that would be a loan from me, not me taking something that was hers just because.

I think that helping make it easy to save while your kids are young is the best way to do it. I didn't really have much financial knowledge when I was first on my own - well, outside of making sure I had a big cushion socked away before I moved out and that I could afford all of my bills on my meager second-job-ever salary. I did not save much if any when I was in my early 20s though, it was impossible when I only made $5.50 an hour and had an apartment, car ins, utilities, food, gas, etc. Saving is much easier if it's become a habit, and if you put aside some right off the top. That way you don't miss it.

I think you put it perfect in your last paragagraph. And I agree. If a child needs some thing fine but its not okay for parents to spend on them self.

I will explain a way to save to my daughter when she starts wanting to spend. She doesn't get an allowance yet but she does have money in banks put away. When she does receive an allowance, she will have a choice. Whatever amount she saves, I will match, so if she gets $2 a week and she decides to save the whole thing, that means I will give her $2 on top of it. If she saves $1, then I will give her another $1. If she doesn't want to save any of it, she will get no incentive but I won't mind if she spends it. Each week it will be up to her. I think that she WILL probably always save a certain amount because she sees me doing that, and I talk to her a lot about having to wait until you have enough money for most things you buy. She is too young to understand about credit yet. Anyway, I just don't like the idea of parents or other relatives who use money that is supposed to be for their children or belong to their children on anything that is not for the children. I mean if they (the kids) need new furniture or pjs or the money can go toward a swing set or a playhouse, cool, but it should not be spent on 'toys' for the parents or junk that isn't for the kids.

Oh yeah, my husband's parents took his paychecks, too. I forgot about that part. He was 21 when they kicked him out and they'd been taking his paychecks every summer since he was 16. Nothing belonged to him. Everything was subject to being taken by his parents for any reason at any time. They even took his bed to give to their younger son's pregnant girlfriend. And kicked him out onto the street, after extorting every penny he had, to turn his room into the nursery.

This is horrible. The way I was raised, my money was mine. Anything that I was given as a gift was MINE, anything I earned was MINE. I did not have to share it with anybody if I didn't want to, but I could spend it on anybody I wished or share it with whomever I wished. My husband's mom took his paychecks when he was a teen and he finally got fed up, bought a motorcycle, and left and joined the military when he was 17. I don't blame him at ALL. I would never but never take my kids' paychecks. If there was something going on there would always be another way. My kids don't OWE me for taking care of them, for raising them, for being my kids. The idea that kids owe parents just for being their parents is astounding.

OMG. That is really rotten of them. I really think that some people had kids on accident and really should not have had kids. Awful awful people some folks are... And see, I'm glad to see a story worse than mine. I became independent very early and was always particular about 'my things'. The reason for this is that I had to make sure nobody else got their grubby little hands on my things without my permission lol. I denied my dad from trying to co-sign on my first car because I just KNEW if he did that he'd find a reason to take it away whenever it suited him, therefore screwing ME because I had a job and needed the dang car to get to work. I would NEVER do that to somebody else, I still don't see how people get off acting that way!

Yeah kids arent an easy task.LOL.I really dont know why she did it.I know that she still trys to bum money off of her kids when her husband,grandparents,etc give them money whether it be for Christmas,Birthdays,etc.My cousin and her husband are divorced due to her doings in part but thats a long story I wont get into it she never cheated on him but its just to long to explain.LOL.Her ex boyfriend which was really good to her gave her kids giftcards for Christmas knowing she would probably try to take it if it was money.I can understand to a point if money was tight and she would pay them back but to steal and not pay them back is wrong.

Did she ever explain herself, give a reason? I have seen a few reasons stated here. It looks like overwhelmingly it's parents who are poor with money taking advantage of the fact that their child has some money or a form of financial benefit and they think they are entitled. This is a rather scary attitude. I think it also comes from people who regard their kids as possessions or property, or they think their kids owe them just because parents do so much. If you feel that way about your kids, why did you have kids? Having kids is not an easy task, this should be understood before people take the necessary steps to HAVE them lol.

I have made suggestions to my older kids before about what they might spend money on (including asking my daughter NOT to spend it on me) but that is it. I can't really in good conscience tell them how to spend a gift. Besides, they are now 17 and almost 19 and the 19 year old moved out, so that would just be silly trying to tell her how to spend her money. With my little one, I guess it just depends what she wants to spend money on in the future.

If somebody stole from me I would probably cut off contact, and it wouldn't matter which relative they were. There is nothing that could justify it, know what I mean?

I know what you mean. I'd probably do the same thing.

I have actually done the same thing myself, if I have discovered due to trial and error that I cannot give somebody money because somebody ELSE takes it, then I will just buy the thing or things the person needs, or pay for a service, or get them a gift card, etc etc. I'm sure it angers the person who used to take the money but heck, I want my help to go to the person I'm intending it for, not the greedy numbnut who vampirizes my friend lol.

Who's idea was it to put Johnny in all those sports-the parents or his? Parents are the responsible ones if you can't afford to take them all the places tell them.Simply say I can't afford it.

The fact that you said that the child should be taught responsibilty for the PARENTS car breaking down because God forbid they play sports and aren't on the streets doing durgs, astounds me. I find that comment to so ignorant. I mean really if you 7 year old kid is playing softball or something and your car breaks down as result of you driving him you'd make them pay...ridiculous!!! It is the PARETNS responsibilty to support there child in the sport and activities they participate in and ulitmately without the parents okay they wouldnt be doing them.

So what you are saying is children from low income families should not participate in sports because the parents can not afford it. What you said is ignorant. Maybe you have never been poor and have had to do without. Unfortunately not everyone is as wealthy as you. Someone who is dirt poor might not be able to afford to take their child to sporting events. Some parents do not even have a vehicle. You should take a look at the world. Not everyone is as wealthy as you.

I mean money that someone else has given your child, say $10 in a birthday card, $2 from the tooth fairy, a giftcard for christmas, things like that. Either way, that money is earmarked for your child, which means it is not yours, even if you are the parent.

Thanks ! I have seen so far one post from somebody who believes taking money from your kids is not equal to stealing, but I don't know what else it would be called LOL.

Yes it does! It is a terrible example and a horrible attitude and I can't understand why people who do take money from their kids or people who borrow constantly can't see that. Hehe.. I bet she doesn't mind you borrowing though if she knows she'll get back MORE in return for it. Who could resist that?

I love you! You have set forth the perfect example of what a good parent does. Thank you for restoring my faith in other parents... well, at least one other parent lol.

I have seen so many posts about borrowing! I do not understand why so many people would be in a bad enough position that they would NEED to borrow ten dollars from their three year old out of a piggy bank. To me that's almost insane! Don't people have savings accounts or atm cards, or a change jar somewhere? Most places do take cards if you don't regularly carry cash.

Like I said in the comment above this one, if you borrow and your child okays it, it is okay, but you must pay it back. If you borrow without intent to pay it back, then it's considered stealing. It is never a child's fault if their parents cannot keep their finances steady.

I do think borrowing is okay as long as it isn't constant and it is done with the child's knowledge and consent and you intend to pay it back and you DO pay it back. The problem with this is that sometimes it becomes a crutch, something that parents begin to rely on. This is poor planning and poor financial dealings, and were those sources of money to stop coming to your kids, then you'd be strapped with no way out because you didn't find ANOTHER way instead in the first place. Just because you can doesn't mean you should, and just because something is easy doesn't mean it should be your first choice. This is a general comment, not directed toward you. I read most of these responses all in a row so I'm a bit in turmoil over a couple of them.