My fiance and I are going to be common law married,what should we call the party
@libertarianfreedom21 (3198)
United States
August 8, 2008 4:06pm CST
My fiance and I been living together for 3 years,and I decided that it would be better to have a common law marriage than a wedding so we can go to disney land with my step son and have a more memmorable moment. We both dont understand why we have to go pay to be married when we know that we are going to be together for thee rest of our lives. In our eyes we are already married, and common law marriage in Texas states that as long as say we are husband and wife we are considered common law married. We still have to get a divorce, if we want to fight over who gets what, if we splet it without conflict than we dont have to get a divorce, adn our marriage becomes void after two years after seperation. But we arn going to get seperated anyways. So common law marriage is the same thing without all of the stupid paper fileing. I have read the laws on commen law in Texas and they are quite simple. Well what kind of party should we have to annouce to the family that we are married (I was going to join all this with a house warming party b/c we are about to move into our first house together) that was when I decided we can start considering ouselves married, and im going ot use his last name. I dont want to have a cermony but a party to annouce our marriage and to show off our new home. any ideas
heres the link to common law marriage laws in TEXAS
http://www.edallasattorney.com/faq/texas-marriage.html
1 person likes this
8 responses
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
9 Aug 08
I do not want to throw a wet blanket on your common law marriage,because if that makes you happy thats fine..I can tell you however if anything should happen to your common law husband,you would not stand a chance & you will NOT have the rights to anything if you are not married..I live in Texas & you do Not have to get a divorce in case you separate,sorry but you are mis informed..I think you should seek the advise of an attorney...Unless that house is in both your names you will not get that house in case your b/f should decide he wants it,also his son,or next to kin has all the rights....I think you have been so misinformed..Also if you do or should separate,you b/f can say you were never his wife or common law wife,it will just be your word against his,you cannot make hi m get a divorce..It is true that common law is regonized , but it does not hold upin the court Of law...I am sorry but i just want you to be informed of all these issues...
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
9 Aug 08
PS I would like to add that i am not trying to go against what you and your b/f want,believe me,but even though you may feel you will be together forever,and maybe you will..I am only trying to inform you of your legal rights as a girlfriend,instead of a wife..This is something we never plan on ,but I have 3 attorneys in my family & i have seen this happen to common law marriages all the time..The common law wife has a home & has fixed it all up and then they cannot see a future together on down the line,and the unfortunate "common Law" wife does not have a leg to stand on...there was a recent case where this couple was inlove,lived together & were happy,but he got killed..Well the family got nasty & she got kicked out & got nothing from her relationship...The heirs & his children were the only ones that mattered to the law...everthing they had was put in a fund for his under age children..I just want you to know all this & if you can be fine with it then i wish you to much happiness.....but just be aware of your opitions...
1 person likes this
@libertarianfreedom21 (3198)
• United States
9 Aug 08
read the link, its a lawyer with the codes and laws of common law, and yes i have rights, and yes i have to get a divorce, unless both of us decide not to, then two years after seperation the marriage is considered void. so yes I DO HAVE RIGHTS, I READ ALL THE LAWS hince the link ot the laws up here
@libertarianfreedom21 (3198)
• United States
9 Aug 08
oh and thats what wills are for, plus these people seemed like they wernt smart about it, there is many ways to show proof of common law marriage.
@libertarianfreedom21 (3198)
• United States
9 Aug 08
Thats what i said, or they just dont understand commitment, marriage is in the eyes of the beholder, you can have the peice of paper and not have a marriage.
@chertsy (3798)
• United States
9 Aug 08
Congrats on the common law marriage, I think it's weird that you have to get a divorce if you seperate. How does that work during tax time, if you file together, and getting your name changed on a social security card. Besides that, congrats again. You can call your party what it is, a Common law marriage/house warming party. That way, if anyone that wouldn't show up for the marriage celebration will for the house warming party. Plus if anyone brings gifts, it will be for the new house. So go and have a fun party, I mean if something ever does happen, which shouldn't. You still have to get a divorce, you might as well save the money on a piece of paper. Now in the future if something pops up, and it's required, then you can get it. Save the money now on the paper and the ceremony and go to Disney Land and have a blast.
1 person likes this
@chertsy (3798)
• United States
14 Aug 08
Have fun on your trip to Disney World. Again, congrats on the common law marriage. I think people should do this step before taking the legal step. It would save a lot of people a lot of hardship, in case the marriage doesn't last. I mean, people should live together before getting married, so they can see if they can live together. Make sure your husband has a will written up, honestly, you never know what could happen tomorrow, as the same with you.
@libertarianfreedom21 (3198)
• United States
9 Aug 08
Thank you very much for your kind words too, actually in the state of texas you dont HAVE to get a divorce, but if we seprated and had problems spliting things i could get a divorce, but if we dont do anything with the law for two years after seperation than the marriage is then considered void. My man is a tight wad so i know he would perfer to be nice to me in a seperation then spend money on a divorce lawyer. LOL, but were not going to seperate so thats not a problem. i cant wait to go to disney world
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (63594)
• United States
9 Aug 08
Call it a house warming/reception. something along this line
On the front of the card:
Come to our House Warming - Reception
Then inside:
[i][b]This is to announce our marriage and to celebrate our new home together.
Gifts not required.[/b][/i]
I would think that something like this it would be better to not ask for gifts, then if they want to give something, they can.
1 person likes this
@libertarianfreedom21 (3198)
• United States
9 Aug 08
yea most of my family prob wont bring gifts even if they were required lol, no its not for gifts so i can put that on there, its for the gathering, i love gatherings with my family. thankis for your kind words.
@Bethany1202 (3431)
• United States
9 Aug 08
Why not just call it your marriage? As you said, it's common-law and not a ceremony, but everyone will understand. Or call it a "love" party, but that might give SOME people the wrong idea. ;-)
I like the idea of the common-law marriage, but I didn't know you actually had to get a "real" divorce if there were disagreements. In Maryland (where I live) I think it's 7 years for common-law. I went through a divorce and it was hell.
ANYWAY, congratulations on your marriage, and I wish you the best. =)
1 person likes this
@libertarianfreedom21 (3198)
• United States
9 Aug 08
thank you very much, here in texas we dont have a set amount of years you have to be with someone. you just tell everyone your married and live together than your considered common law. Now they do have a permit you can get stating when you were common law married. or i figured we can write a statment signed by a witness and it would be the same thing
@tonythetard (59)
• United States
8 Aug 08
i see you've had some kinda negative feedback, but i'm not one of those.. i'd rather say nothing at all than say something bad... usually... but hey, I'd call it a reception. just like a regular wedding... why not? its a marriage right? commonlaw or not, its a marriage... as for the naysayers, every relationship is diffirent. no two are exactly alike. these two decided to do what they thought was best for both of them for reasons explained in this discussion and others probably not even hinted at here. so, why rain on someone esle's parade? they're happy with what they're doing, and i for one am all for happiness.
good luck with the party plans.
btw i got married down at the courthouse, didn't have a party planned at all, but took the witnesses to dinner and found out that grandma made us a wedding cake. that was our wedding.
1 person likes this
@libertarianfreedom21 (3198)
• United States
8 Aug 08
Thanks so much for being the very first to understand that its not that we are less commited that it just we dont see the reasons behind haveing to do the paper work and what not, when we can have the same marriage under common law. now the reason i was a little ruder up above than usual is b/c i asked this same question on yahoo questions and everyone was negative about it and even started calling me stupid and downing me over a simple question. its like im gay or smoething b/c i dont want to go the courts
@lifeistrulyshort (73)
•
9 Aug 08
You don't have to spend a lot of $$ to get married, like some folks said here about getting married at the courthouse. You can call your party a commitment celebration, maybe! I'm not sure, as a newbie here, if my comment is placed correctly, so if not, I apologize. I agree with Tony!
Some advice, though, is to make sure that Texas law also covers you and your common law spouse as a married couple when it comes to legal benefits, inheritance, etc. You don't want to lose out someday. Good luck! and Congrats!
1 person likes this
@Theresam (1177)
• United States
8 Aug 08
Honestly I think it is tacky to have a party to say you are not married-all you are is asking for gifts then. A wedding is about a commitment to another person and sharing that with you friends.
Go to Disney with your boyfriend and his son but there is no need to have a party.
@libertarianfreedom21 (3198)
• United States
8 Aug 08
why is there no need to have a party to celebrate our happiness of our commitment to each other, plus a new house, and new beginings, why is it so hard for people to udnerstand that it is me who says im married and i dont need a peice of paper telling me differantly, people that are married through the system arnt any better living lies cheating and what not. i know that my fiance would never cheat on me and that im takin care of. people need to get over it and realize that its a new centry and that i dont need a peice of paper telling me im married. what is wrong with people these days. love is all we need and thats what we have sorry if you cant grasp the concept that paper doesnt mean nothing to us
@sataness (321)
•
8 Aug 08
If your seriously not bothered about a 'piece of paper' saying your married...then why get married anyway? Just stay committed as partners. If that suggestion rubs you up the wrong way then i'm guessing that 'piece of paper' means more to you than your realising. The whole idea of a marriage through the state is so that you can be fully recognised as a married couple by fully commiting urselves to eachother and proclaiming love or at least affection that you want to attempt to continue through the rest of your life.
If you don't love him enough to fully commit yourself to him then don't just go to a lesser option because it's convenient.
@libertarianfreedom21 (3198)
• United States
8 Aug 08
b/c i dont want to have it on paper doesnt mean im not fully commited to him.
@thestar (304)
• Egypt
8 Aug 08
i suggest to call the party our new life . you could apply that too just make your new house and your new life happy and keep give your partner everything that person need . and be aware always about everything could roll this life over or hurt your partner . this my advices for you i hope you could find some help in my words good luck dear friend and happy married . keep posting
1 person likes this
@libertarianfreedom21 (3198)
• United States
9 Aug 08
ty very much for your kind words, that is a brilliant idea i can have on the front of the card saying OUR NEW LIFE, then decertate it from there. thanks so much. I will always give my p the love he needs, and i know that i will get the same from him
