Adoption

adoption can be a wonderful thing.. not only for you and yer husband/wife but for the child as well. it IS difficult and trying.. but if you can make the commitment and have patience, itll be well worth it. only thing i can advise is do NOT lie to yer child. if you do as some have done and wait until the child is "old enough to understand" that child is going to feel extremely betrayed and that their entire life is a lie. if the child is aware of the fact they were CHOSEN and loved.. itll just be another fact of life a child takes for granted and doesnt give a whole lot of thought to.. and they will know tht you can be trusted. you cant say "i love you" out of one side of yer mouth and lie with the other or the "i loev you" is quickly ignored and forgotten and youll be asking for problems where there neednt be any. good luck with becomming a parent

It would be best to consider adopting a child from the orphanage. I know a lot of parents who adopted their neighbor's or friend's children only for these children to be taken back from them when they got older. Most of the children from the orphanage don't have parents to take them back. That is lesser emotional trauma. These are also the kids that are eager to be taken care of, but you'd better choose the youngest ones. My philosophy in this is that the younger the child the better it would be to adopt him or her. This would ensure that you will be there to see the childhood developments that are such a wonder for parents, and yet able to curb any bad habits that the child might have learned. Children of younger age are easier taught than older ones in terms of habits and manners. Do tell the child about the adoption. The child will respect you for that later on. The child will be glad that even if he or she was adopted, the love you bestowed was the same to that for your own children. You can always explain that even though he or she is not your own child, you have always given the treatment a real child deserves. And be sure you do that. I also have some friends who were adopted, and they grew up alright. I guess that can be credited to the upbringing their parents had on them. And if later you will have children of your own, never ever make the adopted child feel not loved, second best is alright but never as not loved; otherwise, that will spell trouble.

The place doesn't really matter. I think it would be best if you'll raise him aware of the adoption things. He will be more attached, and more thankful in that way. Anyway,it's just me.

I was adopted at birth. I knew my entire life that I was adopted, never a time that I didn't know. I think that it is important for children to understand the relationship of family in their life and this includes adoption. Biology is not as important as love in making families work, by the way.

Adoption is a great option if you and your partner are reproductively challenged. I think it provides a solution for all parties for a fulfilling life. You are afforded the ability to parent and love a child that needs exactly that. I am not sure where you are located but almost every place in the world has kids that are adoptable and I would be interested in adopting from my own community if the option was available. I personally would tell the child when age and maturity appropiate. And would prefer that this information come from me rather than someone else. As I could explain the situation in the loving manner that it was derived as opposed to making it seem negative and something that needed to be kept a secret. I would want to explain that our decision was pure love and the desire to make that childs life as normal and fulfilling as could be. I would want to explain that they were the "chosen one". I'd want to explain to them that though we weren't biologically related, that my love for them is as pure as if I had given birth to them.

Hi I am not reproductively challenged (as you put it) but we were also considering adopting someday. We already have 3 baby boys and if fate won't give us a baby girl, might as well adopt one. An since were both into adopting, let us think of the things that we should consider. First for me I think I'll go some place far, I just don't like the idea that the kid's mom is just around corner and maybe lurking at us.. you know.. Second I'll go for orphanage who keeps track of the parents profile of the kid. I want to make sure that the baby won't have much difference in physical aspect with us. and lastly, I would tell that kid thta she is adopted but of course when she is old enough to understand it.

I could write a whole book about adoption! We adopted two children. They are grown now and have families of their own. We adopted in an era when there was a surplus of babies that needed homes. Abortion was still illegal and there was still a stigma aginst having a bay out of wedlock. It is much more difficult now. It costs a fortune to adopt a baby. This is a really sad thing and it is why I am pro-life. But, not to get off on that subject. If there are orphanages near where you live I would try there first. I do not know of any orphanages in the US. Most children are in foster care and are in limbo waiting for their natural parents to sign release papers to be adopted. Some state social services have pictures of kids waiting to be adopted, though. They are usually older kids, not babies. Foreign adoptions might work out because there is often a surplus of needy children there. It is still expensive, though.I have known people who did this and were very pleased. The advantages of adoption are obvious. You get a child of your own. And, let me emphasize, they really are your own. I love my adopted children the same and as much as my one biological child.The disadvantages are few. One might be that other chilren will tease if they find out. Also, I learned that a human being comes already programmed and will be what he will be. Environment does not change him that much. So, it may be harder to understand your child if he is not a whole bunch like you. But, that is really a minor thing. You will love them no matter what. We took the advice of people who told us to tell the children from the beginning that they are adopted. Use it when they are infants. Let them grow up with the idea and let them know they are loved because of it. Our children were very well adjusted because they knew they were adopted because they were wanted. Anything else? Just ask!

It's so nice to see that you have come up to adopt a child - yeah! I find no problem with it; you can contact your local centers for having your own child - most of them actually have counselors who will guide you through the process, and answer your queries. Anyway, I do not think it is at all healthy to keep it secret - you should rather explain the situation gradually before your kids. Wish you every happiness.

adoption is always a noble option. it is really nice to adopt a child whom you have not biologically conceived. its really nice. i think you can visit an orphanage nearby to see a child. taht child will get a home and parents

My husband and I had talked about adopting some day. We have kids of our own, but we wanted to give a kid a home that didn't have one. Where you get a child from is up to you. I would consider the area you live in too if you are going to bring in a child from another country. I would check stuff in your area just for information. Our state actually has a program that helps you adopt kids from our state and in most cases it says you don't have to pay. If you get a child from another country you may as well tell them they are adopted because they will figure it out if neither of you are the same race as they are. I think it would be better to tell them right away, because if they find out as a teenager they could take it really hard. To be a teenager is hard enough then to find out your parents aren't really your parents would be tough. There's going to be that dreadful day when they want to know who their birth parents are, so thats kind of scary. But I think it is a great thing giving a child a home and a loving family.

I hope that you adopt a child and that make the girl or boy feel secure and you feel happy. I think that there are advantages to adoption like having a child that you otherwise wouldn't be able to produce yourself, the benefit to the child is that he or she gets a loving family and the state don't have to look after that child anymore. The disadvantages of adoption are that the process can take a long period of time, there are many home checks and testing that might be considered invasive and the authorities are restrictive to which if any a child a person or a couple can adopt. A child might need medical care, extra help because they are disabled or have issues from a miserable event in life like their parents dying in a natural disaster. Hopefully the adoptive parents would give the child everything that he or she needs and become comfortable. If I adopted a little girl from China I would tell her when old enough that I wanted a child and went to China to get one and chose her because she is very special and that I am lucky to have her. You could look for a child in local orphanages then look into doing an international adoption if you don't find a child your home country. Good luck.

First off I want to commend you and your partner. I think it is wonderful that you want to adopt! I used to work in group homes with older children who were mentally/behaviorly handicapped and some of those children wanted to be adopted by loving families so desparately. I think I would check locally first. You might find a child closer to home and the expenses might not be as high as adopting abroad might be. As for telling the child I definitely would when they are old enough to handle it. They have the right to know. Let them know they were specially chosen by you because you wanted so much to be their parents. When they are of age they might want to find thier biological parents, and if you don't tell them at some point, there may be resentment if they find out from somewhere else. My husband adopted my son from a previous marriage and he has always known from the time it happened at age 4. I have talked to my son about this now that he's older and told him that when he becomes an adult he is free to find my ex and contact him if he likes. My son is 14 now and at the present time he says he has no desire to do that at all. However, I think it it best for us to keep that door open so he may do if he chooses. He knows my hubby is Dad, end of discussion. We are the ones who have loved and supported him all along. I know he would never walk away from us and only want to have a relationship with the "sperm donater", as I call him. But, I'm sure he has questions that he'd like to have answers to. So, that's why I have always been open and upfront with my son about his adoption. Well, I wish you the very best of luck and hope you have a family of your own very soon.

I'd go for an orphanage. This will make adoption legal and organized. This will also help you in tracking the background of you're about to adopt to. It's important that you keep track of the background to ensure that there will be no problem in the future. When the child grows up and ready for a serious talk, I will inform his/her background. This for me is giving him/her the opportunity to know who he/she really is.

Hi ! it is not important whether you are looking for adoption near your home or far what is important that you should love your child. You should be devoted parent.If you feel you can explain the child that he or she is adopted.The love should be unconditional.

I am sharing from the experience of a friend who adopted. they were trying for kids for many years and nothing worked. so they decided to adopt a child from China. adn the child is now 9 years old and a lovely girl, very well adjusted, and she has known from young that she is adopted. they decided early on not to keep it a secret to her. and she is very loving and bubbly. so I would say that if you engage on this with an open heart and read many good books on adoption then it could be a lovely solution. It's a picture of unconditional love. and also helps those lonely orphans get a much better chance in life.

Reproductively challenged. That's a new one. We are 10 years married and don't have kids too. I considered and planned adopting a child before, but my husband refused. He doesn't like adopting because he saw what happened to adopted children. They were raised by their adoptive parents but grew up disrespecting them. Well, I'm not saying that it will always be the case.

[b]i would like to share a part of my life story. i was adopted by my parents when i was left in the hospital by my biological mother. my real mother was about to deliver when she arrived the hospital and it was my mom (who opted to adopt me) delivered me thru normal delivery process. it would be better to adopt a baby far away from your place. after the adoption process maybe as he/she grows up you can tel him or her who she really is in your lives. it wouldn't be that bad because after all your baby will still feel loved and cared for. there is nothing wrong with telling your adopted child the truth. it depends on how you treat your child. when you treat your child right then your child wouldn't want to leave you because you took care of that child and that your child will realize how blessed he/she is to have you as his/her parents. i found out about this when i was on my mid 3rd year college. at first, i cried because i couldn't believe the fact that i am only adopted and i couldn't accept the fact why my mother left me. until weeks ago my mother told me when my real birthday is and how the adoption started. to me, it is nothing because even though i am having problems with my mom with certain issues and family problems as well, i still think about the workds of God with how he allowed this things to happen to me still in a good way. about the adoption thing, the only disadvantage thing that i could think of is how your child will accept about the reality that he/she is adopted. you just have to be smooth and easy when you confront your child about this matter. never keep secrets to your child because it will just result to something worse.[/b]

Adoption is a fine option. First, ensure that you are prepared for children. Read books, watch those Nanny shows. It is a wonderful kindness to adopt a child. Figure out where you are going to stand religiously and get in the habits you want to set for the child (sometimes, we get lax.) Make sure your finances are straight and able to handle the load. Essentially, everything you'd be expected to do before a decision to get pregnant. Some children who are up for adoption come from troubled pasts. Don't expect the child to be flawless and perfect and make sure that you understand that this child is your child. Ensure that your family understands that this child is as if from your own blood. If the child ever says, "You aren't my real Father/Mother" the answer should be: "Yes, I am. I choose you." I would not suggest deceiving the child by hiding the adoption. You want to teach the child to always tell the truth to you, so you have to demonstrate the same ethics.

If you have relatives who wants their child to be adopted then maybe that is the best alternative if you really have not been blessed with your own. However if there is none, I advise that as much as possible you have to know first the background of the child you have to adopt. You have to be careful about adopting a child with family history of mental illness because that could be inherited. Remember that sooner or later you will be loving that child like a real blood of yours and you must therefore assure that the child is of mentally healthy lineage. So whether it is in far away or near place it does not matter to me what matters is the kind of child you are going to raise and will call your own. Hope you find a real worthy one! Have a nice day!

Adopting child to orphanage will put you out in troubles cause this was one of the legal ways though here in our country some adopt a chil directly. Like they look for a mom who is just about to give birth. For what I know when you adopt there is a clause in the papers that at certain age of the child you have to let him know who is the real parents or his real status. Just make sure that when you adopt a child you will be able to gave what he needs and love him unconditionally so that he will not neglect nor feel bad when he knew he is just adopted. Goodluck!