Do guys only see the bad times???

United States
August 10, 2008 1:27pm CST
I just wanted to know why guy only see the bad times and not the good times??? Why do guys only see when us women get angry or upset about certain things???? My husband only see when i get mad at him and when we get into an argument he throws it up in my face i get mad at him all the time and he doesn't realize that I don't get mad at him all the time only when he does something wrong... why is it that they only see when we get mad at them and not when we are being nice to them????
1 person likes this
8 responses
@spalladino (17891)
• United States
11 Aug 08
It sounds like a defense mechanism to me, Pixie, and my husband sometimes tries to get away with the same thing. A few weeks ago he was being a grump on a Saturday and, after being really niiiiiice to him for a couple of hours I finally snapped and growled at him. He said, "Oh, that's right, it's the weekend so you want to start a fight". That was SO ridiculous that I laughed because I'm the one who works all week...he stays home...so why would I want to spend the weekend fighting with him? Whenever he tries to pull this "you always" junk on me I refuse to let him play that game. Your husband says those things to put you on the defensive, to make you start defending yourself and your treatment of him and thereby getting him off the hook for whatever it was you were mad at him about. Next time he does it, yell "FOUL" like an official at a game and tell him old baggage is not allowed!
• United States
11 Aug 08
Lol thank you for the advice... The next time he trys to pull that on me i will say that to him lol.. that was funny... Thank you for the laugh... thank you for the response and have a nice day....
@mikeysmom (2088)
• United States
11 Aug 08
i don't know why this is but it is so typical and i experience the same exact thing. i could be in a good mood for weeks at a time and the one day i get upset about something he throws it in my face and says i am always upset about something.
• United States
11 Aug 08
Thank you for the response have a nice day...
@sedel1027 (17846)
• Cupertino, California
11 Aug 08
My husband isn't that way, but my ex husband was - even I was that way when I was married to him and I am not that way now. With my ex so much of everything was bad that it was really hard to find the good. If 4 out of 7 days are bad, that is what you will remember. Unless he learns to forget the negative and focus on the positive (forgive and forget) that is the only way that he will get over that. Maybe the counselor can help him?
• United States
11 Aug 08
Yeah maybe the counselor can help with that... we really never argue... we probably argue like once a week and thats because we disagreed on something... I will talk to the therapist about that the next time we go... Thank you for the advice and thank you for your response.. Have a nice day...
@walkthetalk (1307)
• United States
11 Aug 08
I think Men remember the bed stuff longer for some reason. At least that is so with me and my husband. Men like to hold every thing over your head. I say whats up with that.
• United States
11 Aug 08
I know.. what is up with that... i don't think women do it unless it is an abusive relationship... I never hold things over my husbands head.. I don't like to do that.... Thank you for the response... Have a nice day...
@rbailey83 (1428)
• Canada
11 Aug 08
i have never been that way, anytime that i have been mad or in an argument and then mad within an hour i am fine, it happened, it's done and over with and in the past and i forget about it. I would much rather focus on having a good time with my partner, and usually i am too busy acting like a dork just so i can see that smile or hear that laughter. I am the type of person that it takes a lot to get me angry but when im angry you know, however that anger is gone within an hour
• United States
11 Aug 08
Than you are a good man.. I like men like that... my husband is kinda like you hes to busy acting like a dork to see me smile and laugh... But when we get into an argument it you always do this or that or you alway get mad at for this or that.. Its never something good.. you know if he would mention some of the good things that i do i would be mad and more when we are having an argument... I would stop being mad and be seet to him... Thank you for the response and have a nice day.....
• United States
10 Aug 08
thats crazy because i feel the same way about my boyfriend at times. but then again its a little different. it's like everytime i do something wrong he gets super upset but when i'm doing something right he doesn't even acknowledge it. It's like guys only see the bad in every situation but they are oblivious to the good things. I think a partner should be praised for the good things they do just as they are scorned for not doing something right.
• United States
11 Aug 08
I feel that why sometimes too.. I don't even get acknowledge for the good things... I hate that when he doesnt do that.. I like need to be acknowledge for the good things i do... It like in the same catigory as being needed and wanted and i really need to be wanted and needed... i want to be known for the good things that we shared rather than the bad things.. thank you very much for the response...
@rocker21 (2716)
• India
10 Aug 08
That is a human tendency. We do not value things which we get easily. He knows that you dont get mad at him at times and keep your anger inside you and thats what he takes for granted and once when there is something wrong from his side and you getting mad, is not exceptable. This is a men's nature but its not that you cant help anything about it. Your man has to understand things between you and him more and more. He should analyse things that take place between you and him. He must see and understand what and why are you saying and then put him at that place where you want him to be , if he feels compactible and understands that you are right then he must change the thing at once, if he feels you are wrong he can just explain things back to you that no it aint like that way what do you say?
• United States
11 Aug 08
I just don't undersand why... He has to think about the bad things and not the good things... I love my husband and i don't alway think about the bad things with him.... So if i am the wrong girl for him he can't explain thing back to me i don't understand that... I just wish he could think about the good things and not just about the bad things... THank you for the response
11 Aug 08
pickles help boy with acne. i see girlfriend with flowers to say thanks for making dinner when i come home. she is sweat as buttered popcorn. but she not like me to tell folk about her. she is my snookums.