What do you do when you're wrong about your kid's punishment?
By cripfemme
@cripfemme (7698)
United States
August 10, 2008 6:49pm CST
I don't have kids yet but I have a question for all the parents and soon to be parents out there. Suppose your kid does something a little bit wrong, breaking curfew by five minutes or forgetting to check in at their appointed time by a little bit. What do you do when you just flip out and ground them for a month, later of course you realize that this is too severe of a punishment. What do you do then?
Or worse, suppose you punish your kid for something that they didn't do or that they shouldn't be punished for. For example, fighting (which is normally a punishable offense) but then you find out they were defending themselves or defending someone who couldn't defend themselves. How do you save face but at the same time correct the situation?
I'm expecting some good, detailed responses here. I think this is a problem most parents are afraid to consider.
3 people like this
3 responses
@Annie2 (594)
• United States
11 Aug 08
It would be wonderful if we could know all the facts before we punish for the "crime", but it doesn't always work out that way. Sometimes, we punish in anger and/or frustration, so get a little carried away with the grounding, etc. We should be able to admit our mistakes, and if the child is showing good behavior and redemptive qualities, then we can go to them, let the child know we reconsidered and thought we had gone a little overboard on the severity of the punishment, but that punishment was still needed. Apologize for the mistake, work out an alternative punishment that is more suitable, or maybe it is even already "served". Treat the child with respect. We are parents. We are not perfect. We make mistakes. They are children. If they see we are human whether they think we are or not, they can learn from us and will be glad that we are able to be honest and fair.
@shrashira (438)
• United States
18 Aug 08
As a parent, I cannot afford to play the nice game if I make a mistake.
In order to make sure my kids behave and do as they are told, they must think I am consistant.
If I make a mistake, I cannot afford for them to find a fault in me. Kids nowadays, use these faults to strip the parents of credibility and parental power.
My children will always know that when daddy has said something, to do it unconditionally.
This may not work for all parents but my girls have learned from a very very young age that dad is strict no matter what, Right or Wrong.
@cripfemme (7698)
• United States
18 Aug 08
When I parent I am going to be open to the idea that grown ups (even me or their co-parent can be wrong). This I believe leads them to a more well-rounded view of the world. I don't EVER want them to do something that they know is wrong just because they are afraid I'll punish them. If they know their right; I want them to do what is right and explain to me later, when I've cooled off.
I also don't believe in a lot of rules because their going to grow up, go to college, get job, need to regulate their own schedules and so on. Giving them freedom within reason is good at preparing them for those choices. I think I'll start that process early, as opposed to what happened with me where I had no choice until college and then was just dumped off with no choice making ability at my dorm basically and suddenly expected to know how to do things.
Just my opinion
