Ever been to a long distance love affair?

Although it is said that matters of heart dont need being physically present or that there's a 'wireless' connection between hearts... but a human is but a mortal being, he/she need comfort n wants to be secure.. and that only the physical proximity of a loved one can give... it is very-very important for the couples to not only spend quality time with each other, but also be present with them, at their every need... so your doubts are not baseless... still it is good to trust your partner fully and completely... Also, life is not just money... to be happy, you two need to be together... Tell him that you need him more than money, n ask him ti be with you...

Nine years is a long time to be living apart. Me and my partner are apart whilst university is going on, but thats only going to be at max 4 years and with 2 of those years where only 1 is at uni its really not so bad, especially when the summers are nice and long and we can stay together for a few weeks at Christmas and Easter. Its not an easy thing having a long distance relationship by any means but when you see them its all worthwhile. Arranging times to speak on the phone, or come online and chat or even just to go online at the same time to organise something so mundane as ordering books makes it feel like your having more of an everyday relationship and long emails are also good.

[i]Most of the long distance relationship wont last long. It depends both partners. Long distance relationship also measures how deep and how true love is. There are many temptations that will challenge you.[/i]

I tried that relationship but it didn't work for me. Anyways, goodluck to those who have such relationship.

Hi gladeez... You have driven a post of mylotters that surely drew an astounding congratulations from each one...as I myself give to you too. Lillie's response was great (Kudos on your writing!). To people that have shared the angst of LDRs, it can truly summon one's very soul and self-esteem. It is with experience too that I share in this. My husband has been away from us for almost 10 years...(I really stopped counting.) The necessities of life almost always dictates this of some families. We are thankful indeed for the technologies of the internet, video calls and cellphones...they serve us moments together though it's never quite time enough. I try to keep alive for our children though deep in me life seems to be of mere existence. I guess there will always be a tinge of wonder, of doubt or of frustration in life while you are apart from your love one, but it can also add spice to your relationship. I can only share with you what I say to myself through doubts and loneliness..."I am good for my man as he has brought out only the best in me and it is a blessing for him to have me and our children." It is better to keep yourself above insecurities and trust yourself to be the best for him. Best of life to you... :)

Hi Gladeez, First of all I would like to congratulate you on your commitment for so long !!! Living in and around long distance relationships can be very very trying. As you have been living with the LDR for so long and you seemed to have adapted to it as well as humanly possible I feel I have no grounds on what I am about to say, but I will say it anyway. I myself was in a long distance relationship with my partner, and I can assure you that you are NOT alone in feeling the way you do. I was only in a LDR for 6 months and that was hard enough, I know my partner very well and I found myself wondering, especailly if he would start talking about all the things he did on the weekend, and everytime a new female friend would enter the picture I would get insanly jealous (and I am not a jealous person). Thankfully with the advent of the internet we were able to keep everything alive (and I mean everything) until we were together again. It is hard to overcome those thoughts and feelings we feel, we have all been betrayed at one stage in our lives and this greatly affects our thoughts, feeling and experiences we have with others. Excuse me for being so long winded (the joys and perplexities of being a writer !!) but I felt I had to comment and let you know, it's okay and we all go through it. If you know your partner then you two will be fine. Have faith in him and yourself. :) Kindest Regards, Lillie

Now i understand why i'm doubting my guy.. yes gladeez it is quite normal for women to have such thoughts.. you have been married with kids but im not yet married because im still studying and my guy is in abroad.. we are still loving each other, you know i really appreciate you that your keeping you mouth closed since you doubt but never open up to your hubby but i told my guy very frankly that im doubting on him to my surprise when i kept telling this that im doubting he literally cried to me and told that i promise before GOD that i wont cheat you fetch a new girl for me.I was really moved in doubting such a guy but all i do with these doubtings but he never asked meeven one word as if he is doubting me. i use all his email a/c etc i find himself chat with some girls,those girls where flirting with him and to i found him also doing that when i spoke to him he admiited and asked sorry for that and promised me that he wont use that a/c here after and created a new a/c now and only he has added me and chatting with me.. You have been lived with your man for atleast 2 years we havent lived so far together for so many days!!!! My guy always says that after marriage i will not leave you i will surely take you with me... then he said you will definitely not feel insecure like now.. from his words i understood whenever a person feel insecure these kinda doubtings arise and im too possesive on my guy!!! My request is to start living together with your hubby in the place hwere he lives if not try getting a job there or atleast try spending time in chatting with him daily for sometime and always message him and make him remember that your by his side.. because i usually wake my guy by making calls and he wakes me up to start up early to my college and even during my exams he wakes me up.. i will message him and catch him online though the timings donot coincide.. keep smiling always.. GOD BLESS

It's not bad to think that way. I have plans of working abroad as well, though I have a little advantage over the others because in my industry, a package to bring my entire family is included...

My long distance relationship ended on our sixth date about seven months into our relationship with our wedding. I am not sure I could last that long in a long distance relationship. Although your's is complicated by having children. I would want a partner I could count on and share daily life with. I think if I were you I'd give him an ultimatum. If he will not move to you, why don't you move to him?

You are only human, gladeez and I think the feelings you are having are very natural. Don't be too hard on yourself. I was only briefly in a long distance relationship. It was immediately following college when my (then boyfriend) husband and I went in separated directions to start our careers. It only last a few months for us before we found our way back to each other. I am afraid that I don't have any great advice for you. We talked on the phone A LOT.

I've been through long distance relationship and I think It won't work. It's been years that we haven't seen each other but we're both committed but we always quarrel for pathetic reasons and I think It would be better for break up. Trust does not exist between us anymore. I don't want to have far relationship again because I think it won't work for me but not all, there are some whom I believe can stay with it.

Being alone and raising two kids is hard but always keep in mind that your hubby is also having a hard time being alone while doing his job to provide food on the table. It is common to think things like this but as long as you love him keep the trust up. Dont be too paranoid about it but frankly if I was in your place I would just ready myself if that situation did come. Its like having a defence for yourself but for the time being just simply enjoy what both of you have... Time will come for him to go tired of going abroad then both of you can have the time staying together with your kids. Good day! :D

Hi there welcome in mylot, I've been in a long distance relationship too before, but I don't want that happen again because I agree that long distance relationship is not effective. Yes you trusth your partner that he/she don't fall in love in somebody. You have trust to him/her but she/he don't have trusth in you. My pass relationship end in the very worst nightmare I thought our relationship wouldn't ruin, I have trust in my partner but he say sorry because he fall inlove with his co-worker the worst thing they get married..

Long relationships are hard. I had to endure one when I was in the army and yes it is very difficult because no matter how much you think you trust somebody you will always have that doubt. You need to ask yourself...Is he really worth it? Or am I better off breaking this off in hopes for a better relationship closer? No matter the situiation there are always plenty of fish in the sea.... Good Luck

i think that it is natural to feel that way with long distance relationships, i have tried that once and it didn't work out too well for me, i don't think i could ever do it again