Selfishness......?

Hi Misty, I'm not too sure your friend's decision will be good in the long run. Her relationship with her hubby is also strained with her decision to go. My friend's wife left him and their 2 year old girl to continue with her masters' in US. After receiving her masters, she stayed on for her doctorate. Looks like she didn't want to come back, though my friend pleaded with her - the daughter hasn't seen her mum for years. The final outcome is divorce. Both have drifted too far apart. Moreover, there are feelings of resentment and distrust! I do feel that the immediate family comes first. Your friend could still support her parents and other siblings, though it maybe less; but not at the expense of her own family. I'm sure her parents would understand!

I think your friend is being incredibly selfish. She is simply thinking of herself and the adventure she is about to embark on. It doesn't sound like she has a job to go to there, and travelling overseas is very expensive. And I can't believe that she couldn't find a job closer to home. You know, maybe she could find something in another state and fly home weekends. I would want to be able to see my family. I have never understood how someone could have children and then leave them to go elsewhere. And her parents have already raised their family, why should they raise her child? And why isn't her husband keeping their kids himself? So many issues there.

To give a biased view, yes she is being selfish. I can never imagine myself to be in her shoes coz to me my hubby and child comes above everything else, so I am selfish too in the eyes of my parents. However, more than my husband (most men leave their wives in search of greener pastures anyway) I would be doing grave injustice to my son. He is totally dependent on me as I have chosen to bring him to this world and not the other way round. To leave a 3 year old to the grandparents is to turn his world upside down. To give a neutral view though, she is not selfish coz child rearing should not be the entire responsibility of women. If so many single moms are doing it while the dads are working abroad, by cant dads do it for a change? And then she is trying to earn more for her own family…men have been doing it for their own family for decades and we have never had any issues with that. Everything said and done, its her conscious, mature, informed decision and she has every right to it. Only time will say whether she is being selfish or not. I wish her all the luck coz she is gambling a lot on this.

Generally most of the guys speak ill of womena and dominate them because they fear if these women would really grew and earn more than they do.Poor female .. tell her that her hubby is a narrow minded fellow and ask her to try out the australian thing if her hubby really feels that he is going to miss her wife then ask him to support his father in laws family if he can.. being a good family member how can we see our own sibling and father getting into trouble.. i really admire your friend.. you just keep boosting her up so that she gets the australian job.. !!! GOD BLESS

I see it in the same way, selfish. This maybe a selfish thought too but i believe that once a man or woman gets married, he/she leaves the responsibility to his/her parental family. Going somewhere far is too risky for the wedding veil, it may be helpful financially but not for the marriage bed.

I know every country and culture works differently, and each person works differently, but I do believe your friend is being selfish. Her child needs her more than her parents or siblings do. She brought this child into the world, and it's her job to raise the child, not the child's grandparents. She needs to stay home and take responsiblity for her child. If she had these worries about supporting her family, she should have acted upon them before she procreated. If she wants to get a better career elsewhere, then she should be ready and willing to bring her child and husband with her.

First of all, let me tell you one thing. i have seen in many cases, irrespective of society and country, when women want to do some with their career, people tell them selfish. But no men is given that tag? Why? Is it just because women are expected from primitive time to sit back and take care of household and children? now the situation has changed. when a man can pursue his career, whatever he wants, wherever he has to move, why a woman can't when she is equally or even more educated sometimes. she is not at all selfish. its need of hour.

I can definitely see the husband thinking that it's a selfish decision. My immediate thought was that she's 'trying her luck' in Australia primarily to get away from the relationship and experience new and exciting things, rather than supplement her family's finances. I can definitely see that sort of decision being influenced by a lot of behind-the-scenes action that you don't see. I think worrying about not being able to help everyone is a bit of a concern, but I think that most people realize that there's not enough money in the world to ease that (at least there isn't for the number of possible bad things that I can see needing to help pay for! ) I don't think I'd be able to leave a child and my husband for possible tragedies, unless money were already very tight, but that's just me. It sounds like her husband is very understanding, and I'm sure a lot of people don't have as understanding spouse. Good luck to your friend in a new country! I hope it is as beneficial and helpful as she thinks.

Hi misty! I think it takes a lot of courage for your friend to have made that decision, and lots of love from her husband to have supported her decision. It all boils down to love and sacrifice for the sake of family. There are people who have this high sense of love and value for parents and siblings that they cannot just simply ignore them even when they have their own families too. Your friend may be one of them. And they are now a rare breed in this world and time, don't you think? In your friend's situation, am sure she'll be just fine, and her immediate family too.