Letting go...
By eiram25
@eiram25 (1076)
Philippines
August 12, 2008 2:12am CST
How will you know know that it's time to end the relationship and let your partner go? In a relationship, when can you say enough is enough? I find these 2 questions very difficult to answer. It would have been easier for me to answer this if I'm not emotionally involved, but unfortunately I am,meaning I can't decide clearly for myself because I'm afraid I might make the wrong decision.
2 people like this
4 responses
@CJay77 (4438)
• Australia
12 Aug 08
The only reason people stay in a bad relationship is because they are scared to be alone or some part, thier are children's involve! But there are so many things to consider ended up your relationship, if you lose trust with your partner or don't have any feelings at all, but most important if you are not happy in your relationship. To be honest I am not comfortable giving this advice so please think long and hard before making a decission or much better if you can fix it do it or talk to your partner and let him/her knows what you really feel.
@lalapuff (290)
• Philippines
12 Aug 08
Was he your first boyfriend? I just became curious because I think i can relate?? lols. But the guy I'm having a problem with right now is just some guy friend, he was not even a real "boyfriend" to put it in that sense. if he's your first, then i can say that it would be really hard for you to move on. In my first serious relationship, it took me two years to heal. Then right now we're cool. But this current guy our problem goes on and on. It's like we would calm down a fight then start a new one. It has got so complicated and worse that there recently came a point that I'm so angry with him i feel like i'm gonna have a heart attack. Anyway sorry for much elaboration on my part but i hope my comments, though i haven't responded really, enlightened you.
1 person likes this
@eiram25 (1076)
• Philippines
12 Aug 08
Thanks for your opinion. Maybe you're kinda right. A part of me is somewhat scared to be alone. Maybe because the hardest part is starting all over again after the break-up. I'll probably consider talking to him,because this matter has really got me bothered for a few days now. Thanks for taking the time to read and share your thoughts on this. Have a good day!=)
@brisk123 (2823)
• India
12 Aug 08
Well,my friend,this kind of question often comes in most cases and to many people.You are not the only one,so don't get tense thinking so much about it.Sometimes things don't work out the way we want it to be.We get disappointed and hurt when we faced this situation.When it comes to love and relationship matter it is even more difficult.But,I would like to know one thing,why is it making you feel this way?why you want to end a relationship and at the same time worried about taking wrong decision?I say,my friend you are right now totally confused about your own emotions.Take some time and think about it,What is making you feel this way?Is it something he did?or you just feel that this relationship won't work out due to some reason?or is it just that you are scared of being committed?There can be lots of questions,you need to ask yourself and find the answer.Don't take such decision which you will regret later,because only few people get their second chances.
1 person likes this
@lalapuff (290)
• Philippines
20 Aug 08
so your confused..maybe you should give yourself sometime to think? talk with your friends, common friends w/ your guy and maybe even his friends. Yes, it's true that you can never change a person. Unless they also wanted it to happen then only there it would take effect. And it's not really that good to change a person. I think change should be more of a self-inflicted act. You're not dumb nor stupid. You only have unconditional love. That's what I had for a long time for this guy who was once a very close friend of mine. I think i mentioned him in one of my responses under this discussion. That'what I thought I had for him since even though he's so mean I still manage to stick around. I always think on the bright side, what he had good back then. But when it comes to a point that you realize there is not even a single positive thing compensates for every bad that he does, i hope it will make you think twice and over and over for a new decision.
@eiram25 (1076)
• Philippines
13 Aug 08
Thanks for the advice. Guess I'm really that confused right now. Uhm, the problem in our relationship is that we keep on fighting about the same things over and over again. There are certain traits in him that I don't like and I've upfrontly told him that. He changed for a while but then I think for some reason, I guess it's really true that you can never change a person. And because of this, I don't think that I'll be able to tolerate this later on in our relationship. But inspite of that trait of his', a huge part of me still wants to go on with the relationship. Does this make me dumb and stupid because of love?
@lalapuff (290)
• Philippines
12 Aug 08
I think i'll just go answer straight the first question so as to hold back myself from storytelling =) You'll know when to end it when it's not doing you any good, when it's just making you worse everyday and he's not doing anything, even the slightest reaction of your situation.
@lalapuff (290)
• Philippines
20 Aug 08
yeah you could give it more time..when you let go of something, there's usually pain and it's really gonna hurt and you don't know upto when it's going to last but i doubt it will eat up your whole life when all you just wanted was to feel a little better after someone has made you feel bad. Whew! I'm so involved in here =p
@eiram25 (1076)
• Philippines
13 Aug 08
Probably,I'll give it more time. If what we're in right now still isn't going to change, then I guess I'll just endure the pain of letting him go. I'm just not sure I'm going to be happy for a while if I do that, but hopefully, I'll be able to move on.
@sanjana_aslam (4187)
• Malaysia
12 Aug 08
if you do not feel the love anymore , you dont care about the person anymore, then it is time to let go
no point for you to be with someone you don love or care.
if you realise your partner does not love or care for you than leave them.
@eiram25 (1076)
• Philippines
12 Aug 08
Actually, I still do love him and care for him. It's just that I don't think he's taking the relationship seriously. And with that, it makes me think that our relationship will not last that long. That's why I'm pretty confused if I should leave him or stand by him.
@lalapuff (290)
• Philippines
12 Aug 08
OMG if he's not taking the relationship seriously then i bet you should have really ended it since he has been acting like that. But sad to say, even if I am in the dilemma you're in and i also really really love the guy more than i ever loved anybody else, i doubt i myself could do it right away.. =)
@sanjana_aslam (4187)
• Malaysia
12 Aug 08
yes .. it is easier for us to say than for you to act .. i waited for my husband to marry me for 14 years .. everyone advised me to let go.. He was also too atached to his family and ignored me for years ..The tears i dropped for him ...But thank god he married me.. what if he left me and married someone else .. 14 years was my whole youth .. i might kill myself
