How to deal with a possible In Law?

Let her talk. Sometimes it is better to just let the soul speak. You'll learn a lot about her, and know what subjects are okay to talk about and what are not. Respect her for being your bf's mother, and your possible in law, and let her know you respect her opinion. In fact, say that when she's talking to you "I respect your opinion" but leave it at that. She's a mother, and no doubt the bearer of a lot of secrets, sometimes even mother's need time to vent. She may not be directing it completely at you, she may just be expressing feelings she has towards you that would otherwise be kept locked in her heart. You say your relationship is fine until she gets on her rants. Don't worry about those rants, in fact don't worry about anything she speaks of until it comes to your potential wedding. A difference of opinion will definitely need looked after then, especially if you plan to get married under the presence of your god. I hope that this advice works for you! I hope you have a wonderful and lovely day.

It is sad that people do those kinds of things but please know that you are not the only one who has to deal with those issues. I don't always agree with my mother in law and I try not to say much when she rants but there are times that I can't keep quiet and then we are arguing. She won't say much in front of her son though! Anyway, the lady here who says you should set boundaries is exactly right. I only talk with my mother in law if I have too and that keeps both of us happier!

In-laws or rather out-laws can always be difficult, Mothere find it difficult to give over their sons to a new woman and Dads feel the same about their daughters. Just treat her with kindness she may never be your best friend but remember she will be your children's Grandmom.

In laws are your new parents. if you love your aprtner then you can love your parents too. Thye will be initialy little strange for you as you guys are not know well with each other. But take this as learning process as my friend tomorrow you to become a inlow by gods grace. :-)

i dont know if anyone's mother in law could be worse than mine... she never thinks before she speaks. Every time she sees a girl with a little extra weight, she always has to point out that they are about my size. My mother in law acts like a 16 year old girl, her gossip ended up ruining my wedding. Thank god my husband knows what she is like and backs me up. For me, it works to just ignore her comments and pretend like i dont hear her lol. If i took everything she did to heart i would be a broken person. Just keep your head up and make sure that your boyfriend/fiance understands where you are coming from, thats the relationship you need to worry about. I personally just avoid my mother in law until i have to see her for my son's sake.

In my experience with mother-in-law's or possible mother-in-law's is this: almost always you will be wrong unless you agree with her. Almost always you will be wrong unless you do what she wants you to do. Why? because you are taking her baby away from her. Not because of any specific personality trait or education, religion or upbringing. You will have to stand up for yourself, not by arguing, but just by being you and not allowing her comments to get to you. One thing you did not say is how your b/f feels about this. If he doesn't know the best way is to just let him see it. Do not try to tell him his mother is rude and disrespectful, he has to see it. It is possible to have a good relationship ship with your b/f and not get along with his mother. My ex's mother and sister and I never really did get along and we were together for 16 years. But the rest of the family and I get along to this day and I know that if I ever need anything, from grandma on down would be there for me. Just not the mother or the sister. We actually get along better now that we're separated. So, my advice is, just let her rant and take it with a grain of salt. Maybe someday things will be better, maybe not but don't let it get to you. She'll either see you for the intelligent, respectful person that you are or she won't. Either way, you have not changed and you have not made the problem worse in her mind. And you can sleep at night.

Gosh, mother-in-laws sem to get a bad rap here or some of them are really impossible. I am a mother-in-law myself and often I don't agree with my daughter-in-law, and I am sure she disagrees with me on some issues, but we are very respectful of each other and don't interfere in each other's life. I also don't discuss issues on which she and I differ with my son. No point in coming between the couple. What shocks me about your story is the comment on "talking white". It is astonishing that people would pride themselves when they speak bad English. If you want to get anywhere in life you have to speak properly. Does Condoleeza Rice or Barack and Michelle Obama speak black or brown? I don't get it.

it is called generation gap. but still its natural to have difference in the opinion. you can't always fidn a person who accepts all your ideas. may be she has ego problem and also is not ready to accept her thoughts.try to handle her carefully

Yeah that is to bad she is so stubborn. Just shrug it off. Don't sweat the small stuff. Reminds me of this quote--I use it quite often. "It's better to keep your mouth shut and let people wonder weather or not you are ignorant then to open your mouth and prove it."-----Mark Twain