Finding the right person after a divorce

I really don't think it is a good idea to get involved with another person right away after a divorce. Your judgment might be clouded by the anger or whatever feeling you still have after the process and you might end up in another not so good situation that could lead to another divorce . What should be done is to move on and get the negative feelings aside. Below are some good tips on how to better deal if you feel anger after a divorce. Here are five strategies that will help you deal with your anger in a positive way. 1. Don’t stuff it. Anger is a legitimate emotion and is your heart trying to tell you something is hurting. Stuffing anger to avoid dealing with it can result in depression, your anger turned inward. Allow yourself to explore the reasons for your anger and to express it in safe ways. 2. Don’t fear it. Women especially may have been brought up to think that they should be “nice and agreeable” and not get angry. Everyone gets angry at times, and it is a healthy emotion, not something to be feared. Journal or talk to a friend to vent your angry feelings, so you can work through them. 3. Don’t worry about losing control. One fear many people have is that if they let their anger out, they won’t be able to control the rage that may be inside them. This is usually a fear with no basis in fact. Find a safe place to vent your anger. Punch a pillow, scream, or do whatever makes you feel the release you need. 4. Don’t worry about what other people will think. If you feel anger, you have a right to feel that way. Individuals may think that it’s acceptable to express grief or sadness, but anger may bring on feelings of embarrassment or shame. Allow yourself to go through your emotions, no matter which ones they are. 5. Get regular exercise. If you are having a hard time processing the reasons for your anger, it may just be resulting from your overall situation and the frustration you feel from dealing with stress. Taking a walk, doing aerobics, or even kickboxing can make a person dealing with anger feel much relief. Do an exercise that you know is safe for you, and give it your all. Check with your physician if you have any questions about whether or not exercise is appropriate for you. The above tips are from the Divorce Support Site. For further reading please see the link below: http://divorcesupport.about.com Hope this helps SFC

wasnt really hurt by divorce was glad to get rid of him and then I found my soul mate.

This is a very good post. I need to try to date more and try to find another man. At the same time I am scared of getting hurt again. I am scared that and being disabled makes it harder on me then normal people.

Hi zandi, [i]I have few friends who are divorced and managed to move on..It was not easy of course but time heals... They are more careful by the next time in choosing a lifetime partner again! It is very healthy really to go out and hang out with people! The healing process is very quick! Then luckily this time they are very contented and happy with their 2nd partner![/i]

I really don't think jumping into a new relationship too soon is the answer. You really need some time to heal your wounds and work on yourself before getting into another relationship. Otherwise you will spend all your time compairing your new partner to your previous, either good or bad, and that's not fair. You will also be bringing your emotional baggage into your new relationship, and your partner doesn't need that. I think it's a good idea to spend some time just concentrating on yourself and getting your own life together before attempting to share it with another person so soon.

i think you right about the the divorce can make someone trauma, and every people not want get divorce for a second times, so i think much better for someone have a long relationship before she or he make a The decision.

i have to agree with kats, i dont think that jumping from one thing to another quickly is a good thing either. i think you should use this time to heal and to find out what you want in a mate. join a local singles group in your area to meet new people.

I have to disagree with you, jumping into another relationship right after divorce is not the way to go. And yes, been there done that. I was divorced from my first husband and was living with my second within a month of my divorce. The second lasted 5 years, when we divorced I jumped into another relationship, we were married a month after my second divorce was final. After a 16 year marriage, that was rocky from the start, it ended in divorce. The difference, after my last divorce, I moved into my own place, and took a year for me. I was going back to school to work on my bachlor's degree, had a job, and didn't worry about having another relationship. After being on my own for over a year, I met an amazing man, we have been living together for a little over 3 years now. I think giving myself that year without a relationship, I was able to heal and was able to like me again. So, jumping into a new relationship is not something I would recommend.

I've never been married nor have I ever been divorced, but all of my divorced friends and relatives never went into relationships quickly after their divorce. They always say that 'it's time for them to get smart and not dwell too much on the emotion' I think what they're trying to say is that they've already gone past the puppy love and the love stories on the silver screen. It's high time for them to prioritize what they've forgotten all those years ~ themselves. It actually doesn't matter how a person deals with divorce as long as it's healthy. Finding new relationships could be one of the steps they could do but I don't think that's most likely the priority.

Divorce is a messy affair and ends up in a lot of hurt. So trauma is bound to follow. After divorce, I feel one should not immediately go in for a relationship for it could be on the rebound. One could be feeling lost and lonely and may latch on to someone totally incompatible just so that one can be with the other. Take your time, enjoy your freedom and be careful you dont make the same mistake twice. I suggest one must wait it out for some ti me, enjoying the feeling of freedom and make many friends. Dont hurry and time heals all wounds. Then look out for the right partner.

hi how ar eyou even i think th epsychatriast or some person like that (if on eis not able to afford on e) then he is the roght person to consult because the person get s in tourbel and one should not rely o ones freind because somtimees that very friends moght not be able to o give the proper attention that he needs moroever in this tage he needs a peson superior than a friend

thank you very much tell us so good a solution to solve this problem . i think it is a very good idea

Post-divorce trauma is putting it lightly, but yes, you are right. Getting on with your life usually means finding that special someone that offers you what you never had with your ex. I personally can relate. I had a gruesome husband that never cared about me or the children. I now have a real man that respects and appreciates me and accepts my children in every way. He's not what you say my equal, but in alot of ways, we are very similar to one another. I really think I am blessed with this man. He cherishes me and makes me feel like any woman needs to feel. I love him so much it hurts sometimes. I now know what I was missing and why I was so miserable for so many years. Love is a wonderful thing when you finally take the step to put the past behind you and start living again.

My husband has been divorced three times, and I have never been married before. We found eachother "by accident" on a writing board. Sure he looked around a bit, but he never got anywhere. I never looked. My mother told me that the best way to find someone was NOT TO LOOK FOR THEM!! It worked well for my husband and I. We found eachother on a writing group, so there was a common interest already, and our romance grew from there.

Relationships are delicate situations,what worked for another might not work for you. it is best before you divorce you find someone to occupy your heart,your time and supply your emotional needs,if you are already divorced then you should seek friends and groups to converse with who will share their ideas and experiences not to make you sad and to keep you mind on your present situation but to free your mind and make you happy,a relationship might be your next step by then you will be strong enough;you won't be comparing your ex and your boyfriend you will be trying to get to know the person and accept the person for who they are. yes your past is your foundation but you MUST NOT live in it but move on and make it new by learning from it. try your best to keep good communication skills with your new relationships and free your mind do things you longed or hoped to do with your new friend or boyfriend. try not to talk too much about your ex within your fun,you might just spoil it for yourself. All the best.