Do boys mature sooner too?

lol...ok...let me clear your doubts first. I wasn't talking of mature as in behaviour (though he was that way earlier). I meant physical maturity like girls having their periods and changes in hormone levels and that kind of thing. He was a VERY responsible child. He does correct his mistakes and makes his own methods to correct his own mistakes (which is quite mature for a boy his age). My son is definitely not spoilt by any stretch of the imagination. The only person who spoils him is my mother and he meets her only once a year for a couple of days at a time and so I don't mind it. I do not give him everything he wants (even when he was much younger) and he knows very well what his limits are. He is reprimanded in a firm way and he knows his mother means business when she says something. It's only recently that the firmness has changed to yelling due to his behaviour (which I think is something he is unable to control). He is not 'spoon-fed'....he was totally independant and could take care of most of his needs (which he could physically do) by the age of two. You might be right about the fact that he is not getting enough attention because I have started working recently. But he never really wanted my attention and that is why I had another child and took up another job only when I was sure that he was independent and didn't really need me to be breathing down his neck for everything. He doesn't have an attention deficiency syndrome...he does very well at school and is an excellent student in all areas (except sports). I don't think I might need a child psychologist...but maybe a mother who has been through the same situation. He never was a problem child (still isn't)....just that he seems to have changed into a different person.

Oh no! I wasn't offended. I can understand that a person who has not seen or interacted with my son might not know all the details and I can't explain every single detail in my discussion post. I certainly wasn't offended...just felt that someone who had kids of their own might understand what was happening especially if their kids went through the same process.

hi sviswan! i hope you didn't get offended on my comment. that's just an opinion. maybe i might have really misunderstood something there. anyway, i'm sorry if i offended you.

hmmm...quite a possibility he FEELS that way though he verbally denies it. We had a talk with him before we chose to have a second and he knew things wouldn't be the same after the baby. But at that point I wasn't really concerned because he was an independent boy and I still get the time to talk to him like before....no compromise on that front. But it is possible that he didn't realize the attention the little baby would need and he suddenly wants the kind of attention he didn't need when he was alone. If that's the case, we are fortunate that he doesn't take out his frustration with the little one (some kids tend to do that) and he plays very well with the younger one. I wouldn't say my husband has perfect behaviour...but our older son is more like me and he doesn't mimic his father and the inappropriate things he says or does. In fact, he was always able to explain to his father in a mature way why that behaviour wasn't right (like I would tell him) and he would also articulate how he would feel when dad used bad language...and my husband has stopped that since then. But my husband isn't home to spend time with the family. I find that it affects the little one more than the younger one because he is more attached to daddy. The older one is attached to me...and opens up more to me even when his father is around.

i think you make an excellent point, of course our behviour will be mimicked blessed be

Very interesting description. He sounds like a wonderful son. I know that some children act like little adults from an early age--I was one of them, but it would be disconcerting to the parents. It is wonderful that your husband respected your son's views. The both sound quite special.

My sister matured early but besides that I don't know about the rest of my cousins or anyone on my husband's side (on his side no one likes discussing such issues)

It's not a high sugar diet...he eats age appropriate healthy food. Every weekend I let him sleep in (which I never needed to do till last year....his daily routine continued even during weekends and holidays). Every morning he would be up at 5 am (before even I woke up) and would go next door for yoga....it was only after the yoga session that he would come and wake me up. He would switch on the water heater by then...and start preparing for his day. This was all done on his own and I never stopped him. But suddenly he's not going to bed or getting up on time. I can't afford to let him sleep in on a school day.

He is growing very fast. Maybe it is the hormones in the food we get nowadays. Is there a history of early maturity on either side of the family? May be something to discuss at his next medical check up.

Well, he's changed physically too....not just taller...but you know, wider and his chest looks like that of an older boy. I didn't take it too seriously and was joking about it. But now I'm wondering if it has something to do with hormones and maturing sooner than normal. Well, I would have understood if my younger one threw a tantrum when he gets to be the age of the older one....he seems to be the kind. But my older one has never been like that. An occassional tantrum was always solved with some firmness and talking to...or explaining things to him. He was always an organized baby too....I never taught him to put things back....and he would observe and just do it on his own. Even when he works, you can see it works sequentially.....but if that kind of a boy is now leaving things all over the place...it is surprising. He would even pick up after his father and now he doesn't pick up after himself.

If you feel like, you may seek 'medical' advice about him.

So, you think the maturing sooner happens with boys too? Yes, it is sad when they lose their childhood because of it.

You make a lot of sense and these are things I would follow since he was much younger...and it always worked in my favour. He knows his limits...and I've never had this kind of problem with him. It seems like he is confused with the kind of changes going on through him and he doesn't have the words to explain them (we communicate very openly and he's always been very close to me). He seems to be saying 'not fair' without even knowing what 'fair' means. For the last month or so, I was just reacting to his behaviour and now I sat down and thought about it and how he's changed and why (I always used to do it to figure out how his mind works...and it works for me because his thought process has been in the same lines as mine)...and I realized he is behaving like a teenager....who just reacts to all the hormones (don't know about boys but that's how I thought girls are). And he's even changed physically....not just grown taller like kids his age....but it just looks different like an older boy's...and I was just joking last month how his chest looks like the 13 year old next door. I didn't take it too seriously then. These tantrums are only at home...and he's his old usual well-behaved self in front of others (like he's not forgotten all the manners and how to behave that his mother has taught him). lol..now I've ended up being confused.

Thanks Garden. Sillychick usually gives me very sensible advice:) and I'm grateful for that. I know it can't be handled in one day...but I've started sitting down with my son and talking to him about the problem 'I' face instead of just asking him how his day went and listening to the stories (which is what I feel I have doing lately).

Silly chick is giving you really good advice. Better than what I did. When my son had some spells like this, I finally just told him something to the effect that "It makes me feel really bad when you act like this. I know that you know better, you do not talk to other people this way and you should not talk to your mother this way." That seemed to clear the air, he tearfully said,"Can't you see I am trying to do better?" and it seemed like from that day forward we both did better.

lol...that's exactly the point. He was all of what you said in your post and now he's different. I want him to be that. He's no more a child or the person he was. I don't want him to do everything I want....I never have and have always treated him like an individual. I have been able to see things from his point of view and understand his actions even when I don't agree with them. But now that's changed and I can't even understand. It definitely reminds me of the time I was a teenager. Though I am not a Virgo, I could totally relate to his thoughts because his line of thought was similar to mine. But it's now kind of confusing (for him too)...and that's why I felt that he is maturing and is confused by the changes himself. Even physically, I noticed that he has suddenly grown (not just tall...sideways and suddenly his body looks like an older boy's). I was joking about it just last month....but now I realize that it's part of the change in him. I just wanted to know what to expect. If he really skipped an age and is behaving like a teenager...the best part is that he will behave like an adult (a responsible one, hopefully) when he is in high school. That's my only solace. I don't need to keep tabs on him. I know his principles and values are in place. But it just seems like his hormones have gone haywire and I was wondering if that happens in boys too....just like it happens with girls.

Girls maturing faster isn't a myth. I know my sister grew up faster than I did...and I know of girls mensturating at 8 years and 10 years of age. They grow physically too. Well, I understand what you are saying about the new changes. But the changes in my son were seen even before I took up the job. I am very open with my son and discuss things with him before taking major decisions (well, he has been a very mature child. Even when he was around 2 years old and I wasn't feeling well and would tell him so, he would play by himself without disturbing me). The changes that would take place when I took up a job was all discussed. But the changes in him are not only temper tantrums....but he's tired or 'bored' most of the time. Surprising to find a child 'bored' when they have so many varied interests. His sleep patterns have changed. Even when he is tired, he doesn't go to bed...and then loses out on the hours of sleep (that made sense with the teenage context after reading the Readers' Digest article). And I also find that the way he speaks has changed. Last month I also noticed(and openly mentioned) that he had widened around the chest...like older boys. He's not just gaining weight....he's growing sideways too. And he's moody sometimes (which is so unlike my son)...maybe he is just not able to put it into words how he feels. And unless I understand what changes boys go through I can't ask direct questions. My son is quite open about talking to me (more than with his father)....but I need to know what to ask...and then figure out how to go about handling things. His irresponsible behaviour (not taking care of his things....which he has been doing for the past 3 years) just irritates me and we end up arguing and then I was reminded of how it was with my mother when I was a teenager. I've always tried to see things from his point of view since he was a small child...but I just can't do that anymore...coz I don't understand the changes in him. He always was his own boss and I like it that way.

lol..maybe I should try that. But taking away some privilege was something that always worked for me (not that I had to use it many times...he's always been a well behaved boy and would listen to reason). Suddenly nothing seems to work and it has reached the stage where I am beginning to yell...and I don't want that.

its a shocker to them to see how they are acting might not hurt to give it a try hugs

Maybe I should....but in India it's not very common and doctors themselves might laugh at me.

Talking to him isn't as easier as earlier....but I have started working on it. And also I think he might not really be able to explain what is going on in his head or mind. I'll have to ask him in different ways and try to get things out.

Company of friends and the books he reads seems to be fine. He is quite mature for his age and is able to decide what is right and wrong without me having to breathe down his neck. Though it's another matter when he gets tempted...but atleast he knows it is not right and that will affect if he will do it again or not.

Hmmmmm then why are u worried my dear SV? But i still believe that till certain age u need to be involve with them till they are mature enough as far as temptaion is concern, it is always their How ever wish him all the best Take care

More than anything, the way he speaks sometimes is a matter of concern. Also the fact that he is distracted and seems to be in his own world most of the time. This wouldn't have worried me so much if he was doing the things he was supposed to do. But he's not. He's irresponsible about his own things (he was so organized even as a very young child when I thought it wasn't necessary for him to be so). But he's not worried about the consequences and doesn't do his chores on time. Even his teacher (who has known him for the past 3 years) has complained about the distraction. Though he is the topper in his class, the teacher and I know that he is capable of much more.

lol..I so agree about the males not being mature. There's been a drastic change in my son...even his teacher who has known him for the past 3 years have seen it in him. I'm not really worried...just don't know how to handle it.

That's the point....I can't think of anything besides hormones for the way he is behaving. I've always explained things to him and he has been understanding. There are some things he is allowed to do that normal kids his age arent....as long as he is responsible. At the same time, I am clear about all the rules he is expected to follow.

Thank you! And yes, he is a wonderful child! Any parent will be proud to have him...so many talents and his head on his shoulders:)

Goodluck friend, I cannot imagine on how happy and proud you are as a parent for your Son........

Though everything was discussed before I took up the job, I'm wondering now if I made the wrong move. I had everything perfectly planned out....and I did talk to my son about how things will change and I might not really have the time for some of the stuff. But he assured me that he didn't need the time with me (he didn't really need me for other things and I had free time and that's why I thought of working..in the first place). And it's not that I am not having enough time for him...I do....he just isn't interested. I guess he didn't anticipate this kind of change in himself...and making the time for him and getting frustrated when he doesn't reciprocate disrupts other things in the family ...and then everyone is grumpy.

That's because the physical changes in boys is not as noticeable as those in girls. That's why mothers usually don't realize that their boys have grown. Anyways, I'm not even sure what happens when boys reach puberty. His sleep pattern was right for his age...and since he was born I never had a problem with his routine...all of a sudden, he's changed it on his own...and ends up being tired. I don't understand why he doesn't want to go to bed even when he is obviously tired.

I don't know if I can just let it go thinking of it as the emerging trend.

I don't think he is old enough to read and understand a book on the topic...he's only 8! I don't want him to mature sooner....I think he is...and if he is, I can do nothing about it. I've always had open communication with my son and that is not a concern for me.