me or work
By ivieigen
@ivieigen (98)
Philippines
August 14, 2008 9:01am CST
me and my boyfriend seems to have a problem regarding with his work. we've been in a long distance relationship for four years now. we see each other once or twice a year. the only communication we have is phone calls and text messages. he is now working as a system administrator and even work 24/7. with this, he seldom text me and call me because of his work. this has been my problem. i know i should give credit that he is working but i cant just let go of the thought that if he really loves me then he should find time to communicate with me. every time we fought about this, his reason always is that is now working and it is his field. that i should be the one to adjust and be a professional (work is work).
who you think really has to adjust? was it me or i should explain to him more that we are in a long distance relationship and that we should give time with our communication thing?
4 people like this
8 responses
@Gesusdid (1676)
• United States
14 Aug 08
i really think you should stop fooling yourself in this so called relationship once or twice outta the year??!! are you joking ? why do you stay within this relationship , like no matter what he texts you about , as matter of fact , the heck with texting , STOP TEXTING!! if you dont physically see or touch a person that your in a relatioship with ,the last thing i want is a TEXT , with some letters!! call, hear them for gah sakes , ...aside to that , yeah , 24/7 my behind , he sleeps anybody on this earth gets some rest, i think he's lying or he just dosent want to talk to you that often and wants to make for short conversation ..im surprised you stayed with this guy for this long ..you should receive an award or something
1 person likes this
@lrglara (1334)
• Philippines
14 Aug 08
why not set a schedule for chatting? it works for me. my bf and i have been apart for 3 years and that's how we usually stay in touch (of course, in addition to text messages and calls every now then). both of you have to make adjustments if you really want to make the relationship work. i did it, so is my bf. we do fight once in a while because of miscommunication not necessarily because of work.
1 person likes this
@palonghorn (5479)
• United States
15 Aug 08
Four years? Have there been no plans made to actually live together or get married or anything? I hate to say it, but sounds like he has some other reason for no communications. Like some of your other responses, no one works 24/7, not in any field of work. Not sure where he lives but in many places that would be against the law. They have to give him breaks and lunch time, and time off for sleep, etc. Sounds like maybe you should text him, ask him what the 'real' reason is for lack of communication and see what he says, tell him above all else, be honest. I actually don't think you are the one with the problem.
@ivieigen (98)
• Philippines
16 Aug 08
yes, to be exact 50 months..well, we do have plans of getting there but not too soon. he is still working at the same time studying MS in comsci. he still have a lot of plans and i cant really push to him what i want.. he is still the man and supposedly the one asking me if im ready to get into much deeper state which is getting married.
anyways, thank you for your comment..
@spalladino (17891)
• United States
14 Aug 08
No one can work 24/7, day after day and week after week with no time off for sleep or anything else. Being a system administrator might be an important position but it certainly is not one where you don't have five minutes to take a break to eat and call your girlfriend. I don't know what his real reasons are for not keeping in touch with you but long distance relationships are very hard to maintain for long periods of time.
1 person likes this
@Alice_yang (16)
• China
15 Aug 08
Work or girlfriend?
It may be a general problem~
No matter what situation you are in
I think there is one thing that both of you should remeber
There will be endless work to do~But you are the only one!
@izhuce13 (158)
• China
15 Aug 08
I have to say this a really a problem.If the lovers being compart for a longtime, it need great effort to manage it. what I want to know is that can you go to you boy friend's work place to work? or you boy friend can? and will this situation last for a long time? you know, time for woman is so important!
At last, what i want to know is that how do you treat you love?if youwant to make youlove a eternal and classical one ?and you want, just keep this situation and pay more patience to you love.wait, all will be ok!
@ivieigen (98)
• Philippines
16 Aug 08
for me, i can work and adjust with his place of work but then i cant still tell if i can do it now. i still have a lot of problem with my family and i still have to fix it first. but maybe sooner or later, things between us will be ok.. thanks for your comment
@magojordan (3252)
• Philippines
15 Aug 08
Maybe you should really talk with him about this problem. Always tell him that communication in a relationship is very important. Also since it's the only link between you two in a long distance relationship tell him how important it is to you. Just don't be too pushy because he might find it that your constraining him too much. I hope he realizes how much you love him 
@Amanda81587 (3042)
• United States
14 Aug 08
Wow four years now?
So do you two have any plans to actually live together? I am not sure long distance relationships work forever.
I feel that he needs to take some time to communicate with you. Work is no excuss and there is no way he is working 24/7 he has to have a break in there sometime! He is not a robot.
So do you two have any plans to actually live together? I am not sure long distance relationships work forever. I feel that he needs to take some time to communicate with you. Work is no excuss and there is no way he is working 24/7 he has to have a break in there sometime! He is not a robot.@ivieigen (98)
• Philippines
16 Aug 08
thanks for the comment..
well, we do have plans but not now. he is still studying with his MS in comsci and at the same time working..that's why he can sometimes have no time to communicate with me.:C but im still hoping things will still work out. we've gone this far and hopefully for the next years to come..
