Stop hitting me...

It is hard to describle why. It is easy to say that you would never put up with somthing that you have not really lived through. Sorta like the people that don't have children who say "my kids will never act like that" when they get kids they find out that they will throw tantrums like all the other 2 year olds. LOL I guess what I am trying to say is that unless you have walked in the shoes of that person, you do not know where they have been, what they feel or where they are going. Women that are physically abused do not go into relationships and get hit the first day. It is a long process that takes place. They fall in love with a man. He might seem perfect in the beginning! You said the man did this when he was drinking. Possibly the rest of the time he was a good husband. He probably promised to never do it again. It is alot easier to believe it is going to get better than to turn your life upside down. Of course it is disfunctional and wrong. The women know it is wrong and this only adds to the shame and humiliation they feel. Which in turn isolates them from the ones that love them and can help even more. There is alot more to it than just physical abuse. The mental part of it is far more devastating. The control, manipulation and making her feel as if she is worthless and helpless without him. It holds her there and takes away her self esteem. That is not somthing that happens over night. Before she met the man that did this to her... maybe she too said that she would NEVER put up with it.

It's a terrible and terrifying situation to be in. I guess no one would actually understand what it is like - I don't, until my friend told me. She was with this man for 6 years - he abused her verbally, physically and mentally. She helped him with her money, when his business ventures went bust! There were times when she ran away after he beat her up, but he'd persuade her to go back. I asked her why and she told me that she loved him very much, and believed that he would change. Everytime he begged for her forgiveness, he would blame his violence and temper on his business, clients or whatever. She finally broke away from him, because he married someone else. Most of us knew about his marriage - she was the one of the last few to know. She went back to her hometown in another state; he kept phoning her - but distance did helped. She never believed him again! I sympathized with her, but was not able to empathize - she told me I would never be able to understand. And if she have had children with him, she would not be able to leave him, because of the kids.

My mom used to hit us when my brother and I were young.she still yells alot at me and she has threated me more than once.I told her if she did it again it would be last time she did because she would never see me again.I had to stand up for myself even if it meant getting hurt.She knows I won't take it anymore and I shouldn't have to.She's very emotional abusive and all it does is make me tired and make me wish I were somewhere else.Argueing with her never does any good.Of course hitting anyone should never be a answer.I would only do if i felt my life were truely in danger.I walk away when things got to bad with us.Hitting her back would proably just land me in jail especially since I have a black belt in karate.

yes,nowdays alway happen that things ,husband always hit his wife at home ,and it is normal. so don't frightened about that, and we don't resolve it only by myself it need the help the law in your country,but none of country enact this kind of law, so i don't know what to do .my msn is fwanga@hotmail.com,do you have one? if you not mind,you can add me as your friend.

Well maybe it's about time that she stop the abuse and call the police for that matter. Even though you are married that doesn't give you any right to abuse a person especially if that's your partner. I hope people would become more vigilant and stop these abuses so that there won't be battered wives and battered husbands as well.

Our local news on tv always shows battered women complaining in the police station about their abusive husband. That happened almost everyday. I am a man but hurting women physically never crosses my mind. I could not really fathom why men hurt their wife's body in harms way.

Unfortunately yes I do know of similar circumstances. The sad thing about this is that many women choose to stay in thes relationships either from a fear of being alone; or because they wish to stay with their partner for "the sake of the children". What they don't realise is that the damage this does to the children is indescribable and in many cases, the children grow up to believe that this type of environment is perfectly normal. As the saying goes; "A child would rather be FROM a broken home than IN one." and I could not agree more. Kudos to any woman that has the strength to leave.

I dont know of anybody like that but there certainly are some in the area. I guess that the abused women of the world have to seek shelter eventually. The smart ones and the lucky ones get out before something tragic happens to them. I feel sorry for those that are trapped in miserable relatioships.

My cousin - she left when she saw her daughter treating her son the same way her husband treated her.

Hi diutay, It is very sad that in this day and age some women are still being bullied by their husbands and they have to flee the houee to get away from the bullying husband, in our country when husbands abusive their wife, the wife can run away and go to a special safe house to hide from them or they can stay in their own home and throw the husbanb out of the house no matter if the house is in the husband's name as long as there is children involved no women is put out in the streets. The law is for children and they will send police officers to remove the husband from the home and they are serve with court enjunction not to go near the wife or the family home and if they break the injunction they will be jailed. I do feel sorry for those women where you live. Some women don't leave their husband because they are scared and they love their husband and that is sad. Tamara

That is very sad, sometimes that they love that person so very much, that they don't want to leave or they think that they will change. When I was little I was in a similar situation. My neighbor was and still in this relationship were this guy would walk in and out of her life and beat her. Really bad to a pulp. When my brother and I would go outside and play we would hear her screams and we'd run inside and tell our parents. Even once or a couple of times, my dad would go over and pull the man off of her and throw him out. Till this day though my mom says the man still comes over and he still beats on her. My mom said on my husband and I wedding day she sees how my husband treats me and she is like oh if I could have a man like him. And she can she is a very beautiful woman, but she continues to let him come in her home and beat her and she still says he loves her. But if he loves you he won't hurt you I always want to say, but what can you do. She is the only one that can decide when it is time for him to leave and her press charges. It is a good thing that the woman took the steps to get away from that man. I eventually hope and pray that this woman does the same thing.

that is so sad and i hope those women can get on with the rest of their lives withou living in fear,leaving was a very brave decision and i admire her for wanting to protect her children.People dont leave for many reasons,financial dependence upon the other,a misguided notion that the abuser actually loves them,fear that the person will kill them if they try.The law has a tendency to fail the people in these situations as they very rarely get involved in domestic disputes unless there is extreme violence.I hope she gets the freedom and safety that she needs