Is it normal???
@pixiedustforyou2008 (2422)
United States
August 14, 2008 1:05pm CST
My husband and i have only been married for 4 months i have have been having dreams about him cheating on me or leaving me.. Is it normal to be having dreas like this???? I am totally scared that these dreams are going to come true and i don't want them to... I am scared that he either is going to cheat on me or leave me because if my temper..
So it is normal to be having these dream about my husband leaving me or cheating on me so soon into the marriage???? Should i tell my husband that i am having these dreams???
6 people like this
33 responses
@saroodebolan (408)
• Pakistan
15 Aug 08
well men are unpricditable creatures, but i think its just that u are not comfortable beacuse of your temper. your temper might not be a major concern to your husband, but it surely is yours. and i think your dream reflects the same. you might have lost important people in your life because of your temper, so now that u are invloved in a true and deep relation, you might be thinking that you may lose it too... another thing colud be that you mite be cheated by some MAN in your past...that could be a valid reason, you don't trust men...
anywayz i used to see such kind of dreams when i got engaged
soo dont you worry dear
1 person likes this
@pixiedustforyou2008 (2422)
• United States
15 Aug 08
I have lost important people in my life because of my temper and i am scare that i am going to loose my husband because of my temper.. Thank you very much... Thank you so much for you response and have a nice day.. Happy mylotting
@makingpots (11915)
• United States
15 Aug 08
Someone once told me that when you have a dream, if you tell it to someone it wont come true. I don't have any idea if that is true but I always tell someone my dream when I have a bad one.
I don't know if it is normal to have dreams like you are having this early in your marriage. But, what is normal?? 
1 person likes this
@pixiedustforyou2008 (2422)
• United States
15 Aug 08
Thank you for the response and have a nice day
@leenie50 (3992)
• United States
17 Aug 08
Hi pixie,
Has your husband given you any reason to feel insecure with him and your marriage? Has he done or said anything to make you feel jealous? If he hasn't done any of these things, than I believe you are just feeling insecure. You are young and have taken the biggest step in your life. It's scary!! You have put your whole life in his hands. You sound as though you are completely dependant on him. I know this because My first marriage was at 20 also. My husband gave me all the reasons in the world not to trust him. He took me away from my family. Normally that is not a bad thing. But the day after we married he took me from Fl. where I was born and raised, all the way to Calif. He let me know that he was still in love with someone else. the point I'm trying to make is, if he has not done anything to make you feel insecure, than you need to trust him and yourself that everything is going to be ok. If you are seeing a counsellor, than talk to him or her.
Take one day at a time and try to enjoy life. You've just begun. It's ok to be afraid. Just trust yourself.
leenie
@pixiedustforyou2008 (2422)
• United States
18 Aug 08
Thank you guys for your responses have a great day and happy mylotting...
@leenie50 (3992)
• United States
17 Aug 08
kelly,
Moving to Ca. was the best thing I had ever done as well. Unfortunately I'm back in Orland, Fl. I brought my second husband back home where his only sister lived. He was dying from a Parkinson like disease. He needed his sister and I needed the support of my 8 brothers and sisters.
But, I first lived in Frsno, which is where my first husband and my 28 year ols son lives. From Frsno to Albany, just outside of Berkely. Then back to Frsno, and then up to the Southern Sierra mountains, Shaver Lake for 13 years. Then I moved to the Central Coast, Morro Bay. I really hated to leave the coast to come back here. I loved Ca.
leenie
@kellyjeanne (1576)
• United States
17 Aug 08
Hi leenie,
As I was reading your post I almost thought I was reading about myself because I had the same experience with a man. He took me from Florida to California (I live in San Diego). He was very abusive, but, I got out long before it got any worse. The funny thing is, though, coming to California was the best thing I ever did for myself!
Whereabout in California do you live?
Purrs,
Catwoman=^..^= & Mija
@tamarafireheart (15384)
•
15 Aug 08
Hi pixiedustyforyou2008,
Many congratulations for you wedding four months ago, you are still newly married and you should not be worried about this. Does your husband works away from home or he works late? the reason you are having these dreams is that you are feeling insecure at the moment and mybe he is not so much attention to that you would like him or he maybe too tired of late. There no need for you to worry about him cheating on you because he loves you very muc and its all those thoughts in your mind that making have these dreams so stop worrying and be happy, you'r still in a honeymoon period.
Tamara
@pixiedustforyou2008 (2422)
• United States
15 Aug 08
Yes my husbnad works way from home and sometime late he is marine... THank you for the advice and have a nice day.. I think that i am insecure i have really low self esteem right now from my las relationship...
@tamarafireheart (15384)
•
16 Aug 08
Hi pixie,
Pleas forget about your last relationship, it doesn't matter anymore it in the past now and you have got to move on with your new life with you husband I bet you right now your husband is thinking about you and when he is working he got you on his mind so don't worry he loves you very much otherwise he wouldn't have married you would he. Be happy its ok and yes it is nomal for you to think like that after what you went through but thhat is just life. You have nothing to worry about now.
Tamara
@pixiedustforyou2008 (2422)
• United States
16 Aug 08
Thank you for the advice and have a great day... Thank you for the response and happy my lotting
@kellyjeanne (1576)
• United States
16 Aug 08
I would say that it is not normal AND that the basis for these dreams could be a basic distrust of your husband. Maybe you should see a professional and talk about and examine your feelings. Ask yourself where did you meet your husband? Is he attentive to you and your needs? How does he talk about you or to you in the presence of family and friends?
If you feel that talking about this with your husband will help then do it. Letting him know how you feel may very well help him to be more sympathetic to your feelings and make him more prone to not want to hurt you.
Well, I hope for your sake that you get things worked out between you.
Purrs,
Catwoman=^..^= & Mija
@pixiedustforyou2008 (2422)
• United States
16 Aug 08
He really isn't attentive to me needs i met my husband on the internet... On myspace to... I would guess that he talks good about me i am really not aroung when he talks to his mother and father... i have already talk to him about this and he said that he would never cheat on me or leave me...
@pixiedustforyou2008 (2422)
• United States
17 Aug 08
You are entirely right.. We only know each other 5 months before we got married.... But we really think that it is going to work out for us... I meant to say that he is attentive to me i just don't see it.. i was getting out of a bad relationship a really bad one and i don't think that i was lonly i really just wanted guys to leave me alone at that point..
We are in couples therapy, we decided to go just a months ago cause we really didn't get to know each other before we got married... Marriage counseling is going great we are learning how to communicate and talk out our problems our therapist said that we are progressing really quickly and that we are doing really good at this and she also said that we are going to make it... Thank you for the advice and thank you for the response and have a great night and happy mylotting..
@kellyjeanne (1576)
• United States
17 Aug 08
Think about how long the both of you really got to know each other before you got serious. Did you both take the time to really get to know each other beforehand? You don't have to tell me, but, just think about it for yourself. Please understand that I'm not judging you. Everyone's experiences are different.
So many people are meeting each other through the Internet nowadays and for some it works out and for others it doesn't. Did you jump into this relationship because you are lonely? You might want to explore that.
Maybe these dreams are based on the fact that you didn't take the time to get to know each other very well before you decided to get married? I don't know. I'm just guessing here, but, it would be another thing you might want to explore.
You also mentioned that he is not very attentive to you. That could be something else you might want to think about.
Why not try Couples Therapy? That would be an excellent way for the both of you to understand each other and work out your feelings of doubt concerning him. It would possibly help him to be more attentive to you as well. My housekeeper and her husband go to couples therapy and she says it's doing wonders for them (mainly her husband! LOL!) You may not see changes right away, so give it time. I'm not guaranteeing that the same will happen with you, but, at least try it and see what happens. You may be pleasantly surprised! It's also important to remember that we can't change other people. We can only work on changiing ourselves and through our own changes that's when it may or may not bring about a change in the other person's attitude and treatment toward us as well. Let's hope this is the case for you and your husband.
Depending on how serious your doubts are about your husband (and they seem serious enough to be bothering your subconscious) you might want to try for a trial separation if couples therapy doesn't seem to be working. Again, I'm just throwing ideas out. I'm not saying what you should or should not do. I have no right to do that.
The important thing to remember is that if it doesn't work out don't be too hard on yourself.
I seriously wish all the best for you and your marriage.
Take care, sweetie!
Purrs,
Catwoman=^..^= & Mija
@apples99 (6556)
• United States
15 Aug 08
Well, im no expert on relationships but i think that you shouldn't worry about these dreams unless you have a real reason to believe he would cheat i think theres anything worry about there probably just dreams sometimes when we are a little concerned about something and we think about it a lot those thought show up in our dreams it dosent always mean that it will come true.
1 person likes this
@ESKARENA1 (18261)
•
15 Aug 08
dreams like this are normal anxiety dreams. Although they can be upseting and hurtful, they are just part of the way your body deals with the stress of everyday living
blessed be
@pixiedustforyou2008 (2422)
• United States
15 Aug 08
thank you very much for the response and have a nice day... Happy my lotting
@fifileigh (3615)
• United States
15 Aug 08
i dont think it is a big deal. it is just a dream. it is probably a surreal version of something else about your relationship with your husband. maybe write the dream down, and read between the lines for clues of what it is really trying to say. look for metaphors and try to decipher the surreal dream.
@pixiedustforyou2008 (2422)
• United States
15 Aug 08
THank you for the advice and thank you very much for the response and have a nice day.. Happy mylotting
@tessah (6617)
• United States
15 Aug 08
first off you should always tal to yer husband if there is something weighing on yer mind. communication is very important and if you cant talk to the man open and honestly.. yer marriage is already doomed to failure. yer obviously insecure in yer relationship which is causing the dreams and this is something the two of you need to work on together, as a team.. which is how a marriage works. have a sit down and open up.. thats what a husband is for 
good luck
good luck@pixiedustforyou2008 (2422)
• United States
15 Aug 08
Thank you for the response and thank you for the advice and have a nice day...
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
15 Aug 08
I had a dream that my fiance turned into Trivette from Walker Texas Ranger and was trying to kill me, and that was 2 days after first staying with him. He hasn't turned into Trivette yet, and he says he ain't planning on it either.
Yes, Dreams can come true. They often do, however, this appears to be your own subconscious trying to tell you something is wrong about your marriage. I know that you are going to marriage counseling, so I think the best thing to do is for you to bring it up to your husband and then to the marriage counselor. He or she may be able to help you more then any of us could even guess at.
I hope this helps!
@pixiedustforyou2008 (2422)
• United States
15 Aug 08
Thank you for the advice i will bring it up at marriage couseling Thank you for the response and have a nice day happy mylotting
1 person likes this
@Elixiress (3878)
•
15 Aug 08
Who am I to say what is normal? I would say that I think that you are a little paranoid though and this is coming through in your subconscious in your dreams. If you tell him, the two of you will probably laugh about it and it will get it off your conscience.
@pixiedustforyou2008 (2422)
• United States
16 Aug 08
Thank you for the response and have a nice day
@nini89 (670)
• India
19 Aug 08
As you are a newly married couple, you both should enjoy the married life going for a tour or something instead of seeing fearful dreams. Why u think in this way that your husband is going to cheat and leave you and go? Is he behave in any rude manner so that you always think in the negative way. Be both happy and it is not true that all dreams should come true, it is natural that you dream. You can discuss about this dream to your husband. I think he is a loveable husband and he will give you good life in future. Have a nice day.
@pixiedustforyou2008 (2422)
• United States
19 Aug 08
No he isn't acting any differet than he did before we go married... He hasn't shown and bad behavior towards me.. Thank you for the response and have a great day and happy mylotting...
@mlh8087 (368)
• United States
15 Aug 08
Your a newlywed. It's normal to have insecurity issues come up in your dreams. I wouldn't put to much stock in those dreams. It takes a while to get over those newly wed jitters. It took my husband, now 26 years, and I about a year to get everything worked out. If there is love there it will work out.
My husband and I had been married for 6 months when he left me. It was because of my temper. He called me and I accused him of being a coward for not staying and trying to work it out. After that the communication avenues were open and we started talking about what bothered us about each other. We had to agree to disagree about some things, which to this day we still disagree about.
Talk to your husband. Don't accuse him of anything. He may not have done anything. Heck, he may be having the same type of dreams. Talk about how you feel and ask him how he feels.
You might want to try and figure out what you are really loosing your temper over. Is it your frustration over your insecurities or has he really done something that deserves a temper tantrum.
My husband is now entertained by my tantrums. He figured out that I wasn't really mad at him most times. I was just mad at the situation. Now when I am mad at him and he deserves my anger, then I tell him exactly what I'm mad about and what I want done to remedy the situation. If he doesn't rememdy the situation then I will go find the most expensive way to get the situation solved. That usually gets whatever needs doing done!
@pixiedustforyou2008 (2422)
• United States
16 Aug 08
thank you for the response... Have a nice day And thank you for the advice...
@kabayan09 (5)
• Qatar
15 Aug 08
You should trust your husband so you will not hink of that anymore trust is very important...
@pixiedustforyou2008 (2422)
• United States
15 Aug 08
thank you very much for you response and have a nice day
@bdugas (3578)
• United States
15 Aug 08
What is it you meant by temper? If you are always yelling and making a scene over any little thing you would be more likely to make him stray than just being a good wife. You seem insecure in your marriage, he married you didn't he, so he must of loved you. Dreams are part of our mind that when you have it on your mind all the time and you go to sleep it appears in dreams, probably didn't word that quite right, but these are your dreams they don't mean any thing. What you do with the idea after you wake, do yu aquise him, does he give you some reason to think he would cheat. If you was not sure of him why did you get married? Ther eare men in this world that no matter how good you treat them they are always looking for another, it is just the way they are. But you are only into this marriage 4 months and if he has not given you any reason to think he is or would, I would forget about the dreams and just be happy. We can't live on what might happen, nagging him about him cheating will be the fastest way to make him do it. I think you are just afraid that he will leave you alone and I doubt that he is even thinking of anything like that 4 months into this marriage unless you give him some reason to. Be happy girl, he married you and wants to be with you not someone else, give him a break. Just go on and put the dreams out of your mind.
@pixiedustforyou2008 (2422)
• United States
15 Aug 08
I don't yell at him for just any little thing i jsut have a really bad temper i get frustrate easily.. and i don't nagg him... thank you for the advice and thank you for your response and have a nice day
@roshand8 (1478)
• Sri Lanka
15 Aug 08
To dream that your husband is leaving you,and you do not understand why,there will be bitterness between you,but an unexpected reconciliation will ensue.Have faith in your marriage,trust yourself and put a trust in your man,you've only been married for 4 months and there is still along way to go on.
Stay with the one that want you and you can't go wrong,the one who gonna love you when all the others go home.cheers..
@pixiedustforyou2008 (2422)
• United States
15 Aug 08
thank you for the advice and thank you for the response have a nice day and happy mylotting
@pixiedustforyou2008 (2422)
• United States
15 Aug 08
I have talking to him about and he has said that it will never happen.... Thank you for the response and have a nice day happy my lotting.
@rocker21 (2716)
• India
15 Aug 08
Trust is nothing just remember this. Sometimes i also have these dreams but they only come when i think much about my girlfriend on a negative side. Sometimes we fight and sometimes when she does what i dont like and i get tensed, i have these type of dreams of her going out with some one else and cheating on me. Its normal just its your mind which is taking too much stress on his.
Calm down , believe me it'll help dont think negative about your hubby!
@pixiedustforyou2008 (2422)
• United States
15 Aug 08
THank you for the advice and thank you for the response and have a nice day
@daimon1971 (23)
• Italy
15 Aug 08
Well, the subconscious usually transforms our fear or desire in dreams. It's a kid of exorcism...it talks of what our conscious mind don't. Don't worry...if you're not a sensitive! :)
@pixiedustforyou2008 (2422)
• United States
15 Aug 08
Thank you for the response and have a nice day Happy mylotting
@lloyd2002 (182)
•
15 Aug 08
You're the only one who can decide if they come true or not. For oyur sake, I'm hoping these ones don't come true, divorce can be so messy.
@pixiedustforyou2008 (2422)
• United States
15 Aug 08
I not planning on divorcing him i don't believe in that.. Thank you for the response and have a nice day happy mylotting
