Home for the Aged For Your Old Parents? Are You in Favor?

Well,I'm from the Philippines too.Even if I were not, I would never send my parents to an institution to be taken cared of by others. It is our duty as children to give them the same love and care they accorded us. I have only one parent left-my Mom and I would do anything to show her how much I love her.Love begets the difficulty of having to cope with issues regarding aging.I can never find it in my heart to let others do the role that I'm suppose to have.With our closely-knit family ties in this part of the world, the idea of home for the aged is abominable.In various parts of the world, Filipinos are known for the care given by our OFWs.It is only proper that we apply that foremost to our family whenever possible.

[i]For me I will not send my parents to any of those places. No matter what happen I will take care of them until the last breath they take.[/i]

In my area, most of the people take very good care of the old. So good that I think there is only one institution for the retired. To me, it is a big sin to send our parents to those institutions when they are old. They have endured a lot of hardship to brought us up and have shape us into the person we are today. We should be grateful to them by taking good care of them the minute we are self-sufficient. Some people might hate taking care of their parents especially if they are sick. The reason behind this is most likely due to their way of thinking; they think the old are experienced and are fully capable of taking good care of themselves. They are wrong because they forget that as people grow older, they become weaker. Their senses might not be as good as they used to be and some old people may even become more stubborn as they grow older as they could not embrace some of the new ideas. The stubborn part is what makes most people go mad. There are also people who know all these but cho7e to ignore it.To me, the old people are just like kids and we might just as well assume that they are because they are just as weak as childrens and some may even throw tantrums. We should treat the the way they treated us when we are kids except for the beating up and punishing them part that your parents might have done when you were young because they won't be able to withstand your punishments or beating. Besides that, it is wrong to beat your parents. You should just tell them that it is wrong and not beat them up. This doesn't just apply to those that are sick but we should treat those that are healthy the same. This might sound ridiculous but who knows, you might actually learn more stuff about your parents along the way. We are a role model to our children so before you decide to send your parents to the institute, think of how you would feel if your children did the same to you. I bet you would be extremely sad if that happens. You might even be very frustrated at them for being so ungrateful.Your parents will feel the same too if you did that. Taking care of our parents is our responsibility. Without them, we will not be we are today. We may not even be here now if it weren't for them so start treasuring them, don't wait until it is too late and regret in the end.

i'm not for or against home for the elderly. but i don't see myself putting my own parent in such an institution. in the philippines, this appears to be a taboo. but being the open minded that i am, if the situation calls for professional care, a hired care giver (or a place) focused on the needs and wants of the elderly may be necessary. a family may opt to hire the services of a stay-in care giver. let's face it, our elders need much more care and understanding. and sometimes, we are not equipped with the right skills to address these needs and wants. with that said, the services of a professional is a must. and when this situation arises, i may decide to hire one. but i don't think that i will put my parents in an elderly home.

I will never send my parents to the home for the aged.. Last christmas, we visited "Golden Acres", home for the aged here in the philippines. We entertained them and gave gifts to them. The feeling was different, I wanted to cry.. I felt sad for them.. they really missed their sons and daughters who never visited them.. most of them they dont know where their children are.. WHen we were about to leave, they cried and told us to come back.. I couldnt stand the idea of sending our parents to such place after sacrificing a lot for us.. It's like they have no use since they are old.. I dont like that..

Hi Jenaisle, That is depends on several factors. Culture. In our family, to send our parents to the home for the aged is a kind of dishonor for whatever the parents had given to the children. But sometimes I met senior citizens and they said that they were voluntarily go to the special homes for the aged so they will not bother their children's lives and in that special homes, they can meet new pals at the same generation, hope to have similarities in hobbies, thinking and interests. Of course they still have contact with their family and relatives. In this case, sometimes this way can become the best way for the elderly to spend their lives in quality.

hi jenaisle! yep. i agree when you said that its a big slap in our faces if we don't take care of our aging parents personally. people will look down at you. the society will think that you're a persona non-grata. having said that, i don't agree with the idea of bringing parents in a home for the aged. it just seems so unkind. our parents struggled to brought us up since we were in our mother's womb and i just think its just right to pay them by taking care of them until their very last hour. they gave us the chance to experience how to live in this world and we should be thankful and we can show that by taking care of them.

similar to where you are, we don't bring our parents to the home for the aged. it has more to do with the lack of proper facilities in our country. we don't have those retirement homes like some countries. the homes for the aged here are usually rundown facilities with not enough staff. the aged will not get the care they deserve or need. i'd rather have my parents at home with me. when they need specialised care, i'll have to find a way to employ someone rather than send them to a home. however, if one day there is a good facility available and my parents prefer to be there, i'll also try to afford their stay there. cheers ;p

It's actually my 'job' to help the elderly and disabled stay in their own homes as long as possible. I'm a care-worker and we go in at various times of the day, to help them or prepare a meal. It's not a well paid job and we don't get to spend as long as we'd like in many cases because the work load is heavy. I cared for my own parents till their deaths and lived with my Mum when she became bed-ridden. I've worked in the Homes you speak of and yes most are good, but many are also under-staffed, and providing the individual care people deserve isn't always possible. I don't think the elderly get the treatment or care they deserve. Not once their health deteriorates! They are often unthinkingly 'neglected' whether in their own home or in a residential home, by their families and as families spread out more, then the more this will happen. In an ideal world every residential home would be a good one regardless of what money anyone has and those who need them would be able to pick one close to home!

NO definitely not since they raised us with all the love to the point of sacrificing themselves I think that we should return to them the favor by taking care of them. I don't want it when I grow old that my children would be sending me there someday right? SO for me I wouldn't do it to my parents.

ya it is real that in many places they do like that with their parents jenaisle but it is not the good thing because in that time they need just some love from us or their children i think although they are happy in some homes but if they dont get their children love waste of them to be their.

Here in Kuwait the same way in your Country which is in the Philippines in which it is the same with my wife we also take good care of our Elders we do take good care of everything until the time they die,

My parents are both elder ages 78 and 72, my mom has had a stroke and by pass surgery and the stroke has taken her ability to use her left side, she can't walk and she's slowly losing her eye sight. My dad has had quadruple bypass surgery and schrapnel from the war has affected the nerves in his legs and he can no longer walk either. At the time my parents were very sick and the doctor ordered them to the nursing home to get better care than they would get at home, such as physical therapy, plus they were on meds galore at the time and some the nurse only was to administer. The nursing home helped them heal themselves so that they could go home and now a personal care assistant comes to the house daily to clean, cook, and administer meds and make sure they are clean. I think if not for the nursing home and the physical therapy and care they recieved... that they would not even be able to do the simple things for themselves. All of the kids work and live busy lives and while they were in the nursing home they were lonely and didn't like it very much at all, and despite our visits it just didn't compare to home at all for them. But i'm glad for the care the nursing home gave them, us kids were still able to work and visit while they got better and now they are back home and doing good, so nursing homes are not always a bad thing... If my parents didn't need all this medical care then no I certainly would not have put them in there just because they are old... no way.

Hello,Jenaisle. I am frome China.i agree with you ,we don't uswally bring parents to the home for the aged,Accepting parents piety as a Chinese custom.professing or exhibiting a strct,traditional sense of virtue and morality,take care of parents when they old age .out of a sense of duty ,in a dutiful manner.This is the role of a son or daughter. So i think this is the good way in a dutiful manner.

I am not in favor of sending my parents to home for the aged. I dont think they deserve there...I love my parents very much and i would like take good care of them til' the rest of their lives. My parents showed me too much love and i guess they deserve to be love also.... taking care of them is a way to show them how much you love them

The thought of putting a parent or relative in a home, or even the thought of myself going in a home is not a nice one. I have worked in a home and so have seen how it is, I would only consider it as an option if they needed more care than I could give and I would only want to go in a home if I felt that I was too much of a burden on the rest of my family.

No, here in india people think it to be a disgrace to put one's parents in old age home. I would not say that there are no old age home here but they are not as popular as abroad. Old people become children again when they age, they come to the second stage of the life of a child. So when we were children and they took care of us , we should be there with them when they need us the most.

Hello Jenaisle, I agree with you...Our parents did raise us with love and care, plus the fact that they did not send us to the orphanage when we were younger....which is actually a counterpart for the home for the aged. I've seen people grow old with their families and those of them who grew old in the nursing homes..The latter situation seems so to be so melancholic; which makes most of the oldies experience despair instead of integrity....I don't want to experience such, neither for my parents...^^

There is a story in the china :a grandson and his father and grandfather .When the grandfather is aged ,the father decide to discard the granfather who only can eat every day,so the father bring the old man to the forest use the basket with her son ,when the grandson and father want to back home ,her son said "dad, pls bring the basket to home" her father feel strange so he ask her son "why?"her son said "dad ,i will discard you when you are aged i can use the basket again." so in china the aged man always stay with family and be care .

Hello! I am from the Philippines, and I am guessing that you are too. Yes it is really true that here, we don't put our old to a home care institution, family ties are very strong here. We regard those kind of homes for street people. but I think if those home cares are affordable some of us who have no time to take care of their old parents would put them into it.