You really can't please everyone... My Lot proved that.
By rosedust82
@rosedust82 (2066)
Philippines
August 15, 2008 2:22am CST
I've been here for quite some time now and I've always been careful with how I write. Careful in the sense that I still give out my opinion but careful with how I say it. So far I've never had any adverse reactions to any of the discussions I've started... until just recently. Someone made a discussion about one of the words that I used which bothered him/her. I was sort of taken aback especially since that person judged me (my personality) based on that one word. First off, I write based on how I feel, and I don't see anything wrong with writing them down. Most of my discussions are pretty general. Nothing so controversial. Most are topics about life. The words used were just that. Words. I may use unfamiliar words to express an emotion or emphasize something deeper. I do not use words to impress others. I guess I just did not expect that little things can bother some people. Oh well. That's life I guess. 
I don't know if other people on MyLot have had this experience. If you had, what did you do about it and how did you react? This is really something new to me since I've always been the nice type. I'd understand if the discussion was pretty controversial or if I used nasty or offending words... but this was really a general discussion. I actually wrote and sort of apologized to the person and explained a little of my side. I don't know if that was right but I felt I had to do that and I was sincere when I typed the apology. I wrote this because I realized that we really can't please everyone, no matter how hard we try... There will always be a select few who we can never please.
I don't know if other people on MyLot have had this experience. If you had, what did you do about it and how did you react? This is really something new to me since I've always been the nice type. I'd understand if the discussion was pretty controversial or if I used nasty or offending words... but this was really a general discussion. I actually wrote and sort of apologized to the person and explained a little of my side. I don't know if that was right but I felt I had to do that and I was sincere when I typed the apology. I wrote this because I realized that we really can't please everyone, no matter how hard we try... There will always be a select few who we can never please. 7 people like this
21 responses
@lloyd2002 (182)
•
15 Aug 08
It's a shame, but it is also true that you cannot please all the people all of the time.
I also think that communication via computer - be it e-mail, forums, chat rooms, etc - can also cause problems with the way that other people interprt what you are saying.
When talking face to face or even over the phone the differences in vocal pitch can change the meaning of a word, or how it is interpreted by the other person.
I think you did the right thing to appologise and put your view across, again this would haveshown that you meant somthing different to how it was perceved.
However it is very true, that you cannot please al lthe people all of the time.
Keep smiling :-D
3 people like this
@dagda24 (366)
•
15 Aug 08
What you say is very true. The prime example being sarcasm, which doesn't come across easily in any written format. I've lost count of the number of misunderstandings I've had with friends over text and email because someone was being sarcastic and the other person didn't realise. They've always been funny misunderstandings though, nothing to fall out over.
3 people like this
@rosedust82 (2066)
• Philippines
15 Aug 08
Very true... It's tougher not to be misinterpreted when you're writing. People don't get to see how you actually say words and stuff. Thanks for the input. Point taken. 
@msmell (1378)
• Australia
15 Aug 08
Yes I totally agree with this, when you are communicating be it via the computer or even a text message on a mobile phone it is very hard sometimes to know whether that person was upset or trying to be funny or to just judge the mood of the person because you cant hear their voice or see their face so you can tell their emotion! It is very hard.
@valeria1 (2721)
• United States
15 Aug 08
I am sorry that such a situation happened to you and you are right you cannot please everyone, so from that point do not care much. I saw some persecutions in MyLot, and I think it is a waste of time. I think people run out of topics or get bored or their life sucks and they start to have new games as to attack other members. That never happened to me and if something bothers me I just report I have no fear of that. If I was you I would report to myLot what happened in case the thing gets worse.
3 people like this
@rosedust82 (2066)
• Philippines
15 Aug 08
It's just a trivial thing and I'm never one to keep grudges. Thanks for the reply my friend.
Thanks for the reply my friend. 1 person likes this
@guybrush (4658)
• Australia
15 Aug 08
It's very true - we will never please everybody, so it's best to ignore the odd person who is rude or disagreeable. You've apologised to this person - even though you probably didn't need to (I don't know which word you used to offend them) - and they should be happy with that. If not, it's their bad. I'm afraid I probably offend people all the time, because if I disagree with something I say so. I don't see the point in being a 'yes man' just so people will give me a good rating. We are what we are, and we believe what we believe. It's interesting that we all have different opinions, and we should be happy to express ourselves - as long as we are polite and respectful of other people, of course.
3 people like this
@rosedust82 (2066)
• Philippines
15 Aug 08
Exactly. I'm not a person who goes with the flow. I say what's on my mind but, of course, I try to be a objective and polite as possible. My discussions have always been general. I steer away from really controversial topics because I don't want it to be a battle ground in the first place. The word I used was very general. I don't want to say what word but I'll give you an example: instead of using the word "hi", I opted to type "ei"... Something to that effect... and that bothered the person and I was quoted as "trying to be...". So there. I just said that I type what's on my mind and at that time, the word I used was what I deemed fit for my discussion... very general.
@melcahjone (135)
• Philippines
15 Aug 08
hi.i understand you.you can't really please all people,so just be yourself.don't be afraid to express yourself..go girl..
3 people like this
@dagda24 (366)
•
15 Aug 08
I've only been here a few days and have tried to be polite and accepting in all of my posts. I've also tried to write more than a line or two, as some people do. I've not had anyone say that they've been offended by anything I've said or anything like that but I do seem to have picked up a few minuses when people have rated my posts.
When I've gone around the site I've found myself rating posts positively when I feel they deserve it, but when I have not liked something someone has said, or the way they have said it I have simply not rated them. I understand that people are entitled to their view points and don't see the point of marking someone down just because I don't agree with what they've said.
I know people in everyday life either shy away from confrontation or like to aggrevate situations, so maybe it is the same when people are online. Personally I think that if you can't be polite and accepting with someone in a discussion then maybe it's not a discussion you should take part in.
3 people like this
@rosedust82 (2066)
• Philippines
15 Aug 08
Very well said my friend. We have the same outlook. If someone says something that opposes my point of view, I don't give a negative rating. It's their point of view and I respect that. If I ever do give out a negative rating, it would be to someone who was obviously rude to the point of slamming someone else's belief with no real basis at all. You know, people who really have nothing to say but just wants to be in the fight.
@lloyd2002 (182)
•
15 Aug 08
On the plus side you've now got a lot of people to back you up and support you - which is what friendship is all about.
3 people like this
@checapricorn (16061)
• United States
15 Aug 08
Hi rose,
[i]yea..anywhere it will never happen..different orientation and upbringing as well as culture!
SO, like you I also take time to select a topic and most are just my experiences and my friends lives!
I have tried once when on responded a hurtful words but maybe for her it was just normal, I do know, I gave my comment to clear things out and after that I prefer to stay away!
I want to enjoy here and I am glad having a very sincere friends![/i]
2 people like this
@rosedust82 (2066)
• Philippines
16 Aug 08
Hi che... uhuh... I know. If there is a topic or a discussion that I don't like, I just stay away from it. Period. That way I don't get into fights for no reason at all... Lol. 
@bgreen8 (266)
• United States
15 Aug 08
I doesn't matter how carefully something is worded, someone will always get offended. I experienced that first hand, not here on MyLot, but on another blogging website. I'm the type of person that "tip-toes" through life trying to do what is right by being respectful of others, but now I wonder why I do this?? Someone is always going to complain about something.
In your situation, I wouldn't worry about that person. They obviously have some issues or just want to get something started, plain and simple.
Hopefully that'll be your last negative experience here on MyLot!! ;)
2 people like this
@rosedust82 (2066)
• Philippines
15 Aug 08
true... Have to agree with you on this. So let's both try really walking through life and see where that's going to take us... 1 person likes this
@Bluepatch (2476)
• Trinidad And Tobago
15 Aug 08
When dealing with the public just put your point of view out and forward and forget the rest.
You'll never ever please everyone, as you say, and trying to tone down your stuff to avoid a bad reaction gets you to the same place.
Put yourself forward and thats it !
There's only one of you !
2 people like this
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
15 Aug 08
I am one of those people who try not to get offended easily, but sometimes it's not something you can avoid. I am sorry that this person felt it necessary to make a discussion on one little word you said, but I think that that is just a wee bit ridiculous. I think that it was very honorable that you wrote and apologized, but if they do not take your advice it is their own perogative, is it not? I hope that you have a wonderful and lovely day. May I add that you look like a very famous youtuber by the pseudo name of happyslip?
2 people like this
@rosedust82 (2066)
• Philippines
8 Sep 08
Thanks dear. Hmmm... happyslip huh? Haven't heard of that person. I'll check that out on Youtube when I have time.
@Elixiress (3878)
•
15 Aug 08
You can never please everyone, because everyone has different tastes and are offended and impressed by different things. What word did you use that caused all of this drama? I have a feeling that this person over reacted to whatever you said.
2 people like this
@alkurishy (2068)
• Iraq
15 Aug 08
Yes that is right, you can't please everyone here, Mylot community similar to the community outside, there are a lot of different people here from all the world with different thoughts and religions.
For me I see it not bad to have all the differentiations things we have here, we all here to make some good friends and earn money as a benefits, so we all discuss all the topics here, and I know there are some people judge a quick judgment on the person from his/her discussions she/he start or her/his posts, and that is not good, we must discuss about the topic in the discussion we have to discuss not the personality of who start it, it will be some fare to do that.
Anyway, I hope you don't take these annoying responses for your discussion as a personal for you, just be your self and enjoy your work here, and don't let this effect on your good work here.
Keep up the good work girl, and be happy here, have a nice day
.
.@rosedust82 (2066)
• Philippines
16 Aug 08
I know my friend... and I agree with you on that. No problem with the making a discussion aboutwhat was written, what surprised me was the judgment on me. But it's okay. I'm actually enjoying my stay here... and I'm not going to let that stop me from doing that. Thanks for the reply my friend.
@rytnlxm (310)
• China
16 Aug 08
Hi,rosedust82.Think nothing of it because there are some people really hard to please.We have some sameness that we all want to please everybody.I have found that for a long time because I got hurt when I do that.This is my story:I have a classmate who is a really sensitive girl,and she really care about what you said even though it is just a joke.One day when I and other girl say that her boy friend is fortunate to have a such pretty girl friend while he is not handsome enough.She got angry and say nothing to us for about 2 days.
When I primitively discover it is difficult for me to affiliate with her,I really try hard to turn the situation but I failed,so I was very painful because I always want a good relationship with others.But when I chat with other classmates,I found we have the same problem,from then I stop thinking about all the painful she bring to me.
So take it easy rosedust82.
1 person likes this
@iambaiyunlvshui (122)
• China
15 Aug 08
i think everyone has his or her opion .we could not satisfy everone .so please keep your temper .forget it may be ok
2 people like this
@SydneyHazelton (4586)
• Singapore
15 Aug 08
Words can hurt, I guess. Worse still, it can be misinterpreted. 
I think that is what happened in your case. I know how you feel. I would just let it go if I were you. Why waste brain cells over things that will not matter a few days down the road? 
Cheer up!
I think that is what happened in your case. I know how you feel. I would just let it go if I were you. Why waste brain cells over things that will not matter a few days down the road? Cheer up!1 person likes this
@thebeaddoodler (4262)
• Lubbock, Texas
15 Aug 08
Mylot is a great big community with thousands of discussions. I don't think anyone has the right to get there knickers in a knot if they choose to read a discussion and there's a word in it they don't approve of.
I think I would have just ignored the person. There was no reason to judge you on one word. There are many words used on myLot that I'm uncomfortable with, but I can usually discover who the people are who use those words on a regular basis and avoid their discussions. We all use some words occasionally that are not a part of our every day "polite" vocabulary. I don't think you had anything to apologize about, but if it made you feel better I'm glad you were a big enough person to do it.
1 person likes this
@madekun (70)
• Indonesia
16 Aug 08
I think you have found the real life here at myLot sister :)
and yes, it always true. no matter how hard we try, we cannot fulfill all of other expectation of our self. and here at myLot, we express our feel about something and not others feel.
So, my suggestion, just take it easy, be your self.
with my appreciation to you that in fact you felt that you have been polite in your writing, you do apologize.it's nice and it's hard to do.
my thumbs up to you.
so keepin going :)
@salonga (27775)
• Philippines
16 Aug 08
Well don't let other people's bad attitude keep you from enjoying mylot. We can't avoid some hot-headed or contentious people here but we can always avoid getting affected. Just be yourself. Write good posts and should someone come in to say negative thing still thank him for his opinion but don't get slighted. We are all entitled to our own opinion here. While others may really sound contentious then stop talking back or if you want to still reply just keep your cool and let him feel that you are not like him. Keep smiling!
1 person likes this
@maxilimian (3099)
• Indonesia
16 Aug 08
Yes apparently, what we thought is different like other thought, what we are thinking and write down could be as offended words for him, this is a matter of physiqological mental consider before write down any words before posting especially in life thread of a person ...
Just forget and leave the person if him/her not apologize you, because what you are tryin to get an apologize from him/her could be as an excused word to them not to be blame you, so worthless .....
1 person likes this
@JonnyMLOT (65)
•
10 Sep 08
yeah i know what you mean thats why i posted "Why do people ask if they dont want to hear"
