How Do You Feel If Your Partner Is Not Virgin?
By deltasswat18
@deltasswat18 (233)
Singapore
August 16, 2008 8:28am CST
All of us wants to have a perfect relationship, and a perfect partner. After going through several dates, you are deeply in love with him or her. But when he or she reveals to you that they are not a virgin, how will you react and how will you feel?
I heard of the saying before, that goes - A man wants to be the first, a woman wants to be the last. To certain extent, I do say this is true. I will prefer to be the first in my partner life.
6 people like this
15 responses
@asiatic_r10 (265)
• Indonesia
16 Aug 08
First question: Are you virgin? Because If you are not, it is not fair to demand that to your partner. If you are, then we arrive to the next questions:
Do you love your partner just because what he/she is or because what he/she used to be? I am a man, and married at the moment, but I never expect my partner to be virgin. I love her because what she is, at the moment.
2 people like this
@snowberries (399)
• Australia
17 Aug 08
So true asiatic!! I note that the person has not yet answered this question from you either. What does it matter if you're a virgin or not? It's what in your heart that counts!!
@asiatic_r10 (265)
• Indonesia
18 Aug 08
As Darkjedi said, it's most related to cultural background but many asians already have same opinions as me nowadays. I am from Indonesia and found out that many people (mostly man) demand their spouse still virgin while they do not demand the same thing to themselves. It's really not fair.
@rsa101 (38166)
• Philippines
16 Aug 08
Well I think it is rather not an important issue nowadays. What is more important is that you love the girl you are with now than trying to be the first or the last person. I think that statement is just not fair for women as the it just says that men can play around with women but women must stay clean at all times. I really find that statement as masochistic. Well if I really love that woman and she does too then thatis important for me. Virginity is also good if the girl decides so but it is not important with me anymore uits the feeling of being happy eith that person no matter what her past was.
@deltasswat18 (233)
• Singapore
17 Aug 08
The statement I made was just to share, not really to imply the ideology behind it. It is true that if you really love someone, you should be able to overlook this point. But I believe it is necessary to understand what happened during her first time - is she being forced into it or she is just happily sleeping around with other guys? The answer can tell tales about her character.
2 people like this
@rsa101 (38166)
• Philippines
17 Aug 08
Thanks siren for backing me up in there. I really think that past should not eb an issue for anyone who is in love. It is society who has dictated that and it is not necessary for you to conform. That is an old belief that should be erased from the minds of the society. Although it is a choice for any person to remain a virgin it should bot be a requirement for any person to judge a person by her past.
@snowberries (399)
• Australia
17 Aug 08
That's a bit arrogant, what you just wrote. You are implying that your gf is going to be less safe than you, or might not know how to be safe. Who are you to judge her like that? It seems very one-sided. She might have doubts about you that you don't know about too.
@neothegod (208)
• India
17 Aug 08
virginity is test of character, so if u want a virgin try ur hands on someone who believes to stay virgin as she wants a virgin in return, try to marry someone in early 20s and chances r u will get a virgin
@vienka (88)
• Indonesia
17 Aug 08
How Do You Feel If Your Partner Is Not Virgin? for some people virgin or not virgin is not a big problem right now, but if we look from religion aspect maybe the virginity is a big problem, i think its depend to the couple, is he accept her because he love her or just about the virginity.
1 person likes this
@Gauravchavan (12)
• India
17 Aug 08
VIRGIN ::::
i don't think virginity has any thing to do with love ... we donot love one's virginity but the person ...it does not matter to me wether my partner is virgin or not for me .... as long as he is caring good lovable and honest after meeting me ...matters the most ....virgin is a word created by ppl who donot know the true meaning of love
1 person likes this
@bugbaby (1787)
• Indonesia
17 Aug 08
maybe some guys feel so disappointed if his wife or girlfriend not virgin anymore, but i am so thankful I've got that from my wife, but now so many couple not make virginity is a big problem in life or in a relationship, i think love’s gonna conquer it all and stick together.
@brinkey521 (23)
• China
17 Aug 08
if you love her or him, just stay with her or him. The most important is whether both of you love each other so much. if you really love her, i don't think you will care for that kind of thing. No one is perfect.
@lyzabelle (1668)
• Philippines
17 Aug 08
Virgin or not virgin?
I am a woman and I definitely want a man who is already
experienced with intimacy. I wont be happy if he is still
a virgin.
But if I heard that the man demands a girl to be a virgin,
well they are entitled to it. Now days, it's hard to find
a girl who's virginity is intact.
And why is it that sometimes a man ask for the girl's virginity
as a sign of true love? Not fair.
@TessWhite (3146)
• United States
17 Aug 08
Ok, I realize I'm a woman so its probably not considered the same. But why does it matter if your partner, be they male OR female, is a virgin or not? Do you love them? If yes, great. Everyone has a past. Why are men so stuck on this concept of only marrying a virgin??? Its so stupid and antiquated.
@TessWhite (3146)
• United States
17 Aug 08
You are so right. Often it seems its people from countries other than America that are still so hung up on things like virginity and such. Its amazing how outdated some views are still in this world.
@deltasswat18 (233)
• Singapore
17 Aug 08
After reading all the post, it changed my perspective, thanks for sharing with me everyone. Now, I have the same sentiment as NrgDfenZ too, whether she is a virgin or not, I will love her for who she is, not what she is. But still, I will not take any chance when it comes to STDs matter. Probably I will advise her to go for a check-up before I will consummate my marriage with her.
@trisha_nava82 (1379)
• United States
16 Aug 08
I wouldn't be too upset about it. Basically if my partner, which he did reveal to me that he was not a virgin and I was not a virgin. I would really not be hurt by it. I'd be ok with it.
@thundero14 (29)
• Philippines
17 Aug 08
For me it doesnt matter whether she is a virgin or not. I courted her and loved her with no ifs, no buts. What is important is we love each other and we want to be together.
